Gary Barnidge pulls the ball in with his nuts to secure a late score on Sunday to help the Browns win their first game in Baltimore since 2007.

I stressed about the stupid Browns vs. Ravens game yesterday harder than any game so far this year. You know once your team goes 1-4 your season is done and there’s nothing worse than football season being over in the beginning of October. That’s exactly the scenario the Browns were faced with as both teams were 1-3 going into the game and fighting to stay relevant for one more week. Not only did the Browns some how stave off death for the immediate future, they gave their fans a reason to tolerate their families and coworkers for a couple of days. Nothing worse than when the Browns lose and you have to pretend like it doesn’t make you want to kill everyone you see for the next 48 hours. Then once you can see past your blind rage you still have to function as a productive member of society. Drive your kid to school while keeping the road rage cursing to a minimum. Maintain a professional relationship with your boss who’s a Bucs fan and for some reason thinks they’re a much better team. By the time you’ve willed all of your murderous demons into submission and can actually string 2 or 3 sane thoughts together in a row, it’s already next Sunday and the Browns still don’t know how to tackle or convert 3rd downs. BUT NOT THIS WEEK!!! this week the Raven fans get to hate their lives and we can all patiently wait until we might have to hate our lives for all of next week. God I love football season.

Unfortunately I don’t know how to have good weeks even when the Browns do win. I’m so surprised at my joy that I can only marvel at the fact that I’m not angry. So anyway it’s on to the Super Bowl for sure now that Josh McCown is the best quarterback in the world and Gary Barnidge is the greatest playmaker the league has ever seen.



Well there it is. Your classic, “kick yourself in the face, you’re going to have to learn how to walk again, tore every ligament in your body, how is that even possible, life threatening leg injury.”

If you’ve read this blog for any amount of time you know that I have a special place in my heart for horrific knee injuries. It’s better than watching car crashes because they’re almost always on camera and available to watch frame by frame in slow motion. You can analyze and savor every last millisecond over and over until you  either climax or your laptop dies. No matter what I start off watching on Youtube I always end up in the “Life ending soccer knee injury” section.

So pour yourself a glass of bourbon, settle in and enjoy starring at this picture for the rest of the night with me.

Gruesomely Yours,


Obviously this is a terrible injury and I hope he’s ok and can come back from it. Hell, I’m sure the Browns will draft him next year and I’ll be wearing his jersey in less than a year from now. But you have to understand my fascination with these injuries have nothing to do with the person or any kind of life altering ramifications they may cause. It’s purely a visual euphoria that makes every last synapse in my brain fire off like it’s the 4th of July. It’s like appreciating a Picasso, you know both eyes don’t belong on one side of the face but it looks so beautiful when it’s done with some artistic ability. Likewise, I know a human’s leg should never look like a gazelle’s back leg, but when they can pull it off you can’t help but appreciate it. Life is art, man! You just have to keep your eyes open or you’ll miss it!

Having suffered a couple of knee injuries myself I know some of the pain he’ll be enduring in the future. However unlike me, he’ll be returning to his competitive athletic form, where as I just wanted to learn how to walk in a straight line without a limp and be able to golf again without my leg folding in half on my follow through. It’s all about quality of life when you’re not a star athlete.

I need to preface this little bit of worrisome drivel with the statement of “I believe without a doubt that the Cavs are the best team in the league and will win the Larry O’Brien NBA Championship Trophy this coming season.”

But…..I’m worried. And it’s only because everyone (except LeBron) is so goddamn injury prone. I understand injuries happen to every team every year and everyone has to deal with it. You can’t go into a season worrying that players will get hurt, it’s just a waste of time. But this team isn’t even going into the season healthy at all! And their track record indicates that they wont be healthy or stay healthy for any considerable length of time. Andy can’t stay healthy anymore. Shump gets dinged a lot, Love has a bad back, oh yeah and some Busch leaguer (Olynik) pulled his arm out of socket late last year. (it does look like he’s lost some weight so maybe that will help the back issues) And Kyrie…..well, for as much as I want to believe he’ll be his same old “attack the rim with reckless abandon and land on his knees and legs and shit” self, I just don’t see him doing that this year coming off of a cracked knee cap. Maybe he’ll be the knock down shooter we need in the post season that LeBron can kick it out to late in games when we need a shot.

Anyway I still believe they’ll be alright, they do have basically 3 months to get healthy and only need to win about 38 or 40 games in that time to get in the playoffs. I know it doesn’t really matter until then but if I’m watching LeBron and Delly in June again this year I might have a stroke.

Notice I’m not even going to mention a certain player of considerable value on this team hardly ever gets injured because that’s the quickest way to jinxing career ending ACL tears on the entire roster.


Yahoo Sports- It’s been nearly a week since Lions fans suffered through the torture of a controversial playoff loss to the Cowboys, but the bitterness of the Detroit faithful is continuing to manifest itself in entertaining ways. First, there was this heartbreaking report from a local bar. Then, a die-hard by the name of Dave Morian had to have a tattoo altered. Now, since all-caps Facebook statuses and exclamation point-laden tweets simply won’t do, a group of perturbed Lions fans have taken to the streets (or maybe it’s more accurate to say 40 to 50 feet above the streets) to air their grievances.

With a smattering of billboards strewn about downtown Detroit, an anonymous group has come up with an even more visible way to advertise their distaste for last weekend’s officiating in Dallas. The billboards, which the fans set up through outdoor advertising company Outfront Media, read “Detroit Lyin'” and feature stock images of football referees.


I just came up with Pick Up Game right on the spot. It’ll probably catch on like wildfire and I’ll be an internet god by lunch time tomorrow. Can’t wait.
I have to say as much as I want to be annoyed by all the bill boards I’d be lying if I didn’t completely sympathize with their outrage. Don’t get me wrong, buying a billboard to make a statement in a half abandoned half illiterate city is next level dumb shit but I get the desire to let your feeling be known. My teams have me so twisted and dead inside that I started a blog that no one reads and pound away on a keyboard praying for some kind of therapeutic mental relief. My depression has boiled over to the point that I have to see my thoughts in writing so when I eventually snap there will be some answers for my family and friends.
I was recently having a normal day not really thinking about any stupid Browns meltdowns when I heard a guy on the radio say he’s never seen an official make a call and then pick up the flag. And I agree, once the call is made, you should pretty much have to go with it. Then all of the memories came rushing back from “Bottle Gate.” The Browns ran a play and then then officials stopped the game and said the play before the last play was under review. That CAN”T happen. It’s a well known rule that once the next play is ran then the previous play can’t be reviewed. How can it happen? Why do the officials get to keep their jobs when it does happen? How does an official make a call on the field and then nothing happens? They normally can’t wait to make a pass interference call. I think their whole bonus is based on flags thrown percentage increases. They’re so in their own heads about this shit now it can be unwatchable at times. That flag NEVER gets picked up. Why now? In the Playoffs? Hurting the Lions and benefitting the Cowboys. Those are questions that will be haunting you Lions fans for decades. It’s like the death of a loved one. It never gets easier but you have more and more good days. You’ll always remember and sometimes you be overcome with rage. It’ll help to call a friend and talk about it. Maybe go to therapy, or better yet, start a blog.


In case you need to abuse yourself:

“I can still score 18 if I can just get another 25 shots!”

You gotta love Dion’s outlook at any NBA game. It’s always a chance for him to shine. Every possession is an opportunity for him to make up for the last brick he threw up. The Thunder gave up about 13 wins just by giving him a jersey, I can only hope they figure it out before it’s too late and they’ve missed the playoffs. He will shoot you out of any game without a second thought.

I feel like a doctor telling you that your team has cancer but I’m sure you already had a good idea.


“I’ve made a huge mistake.”

So as you may have noticed (you haven’t) Blown Call Sports hasn’t been posting anything for going on a bunch of months now. I just want you to know it’s not entirely your fault. The main issue was that the batteries in the mouse were dead and I hate using the touch pad on the laptop. First world problem? Probably, but I’d never actually check with a dirt person to find out for sure.
We missed out on some of the most important sports stories in the history of Cleveland while we were gone and there’s no excuse for that. LeBron coming back to Cleveland. The Browns on their way to having a great season only to have the front office completely undermine the coaches and force a unprepared quarterback onto the field and calling plays from the owners box. (Not sure if the last 3 parts of that are true but that’s the perception around town so it might as well be true.) It’s not like you missed out on a whole lot though. I can guarantee that my LeBron homecoming post would have been a bunch of YouTube links to his greatest Cavs moments followed by a short sappy love letter to all the suffering Cleveland fans. September through November posts would have all been titled “Browns to the Super Bowl” and I would have been begging Ray Farmer to give Brian Hoyer a $100 million contract. Everything after that until now would have been a drunken rant about how I hate my mother for not only giving me life but raising me in Northeast Ohio. Which leads us to now… Browns offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan will consider leaving Cleveland — even for a lateral move — because of friction between some of the coaches and some in the front office, multiple league sources have told
Shanahan will interview Thursday morning for the Bills head coaching vacancy, and it’s his ultimate goal to become a head coach. But he also might have an opportunity to be reunited with his father Mike, which is enticing to him. Kyle worked under Mike for four seasons in Washington before they were let go after the 2013 season.
Three teams are interested in possibly hiring Mike Shanahan as head coach and Kyle as offensive coordinator, sources said. They are the 49ers, Raiders and Bills. Mike Shanahan has interviewed with those teams and will also interview with the Chicago Bears.
Kyle Shanahan was eager to strike out on his own again, but landed in a situation that has become dysfunctional for him, the sources said. The biggest problem, they say is that the personnel side and coaches aren’t seeing eye to eye on some key issues. One source said some coaches became upset when a high-ranking personnel member texted from the press box to the sidelines about play calls.
The coaches also may have felt pressure to start Johnny Manziel in the biggest game of the season, with the playoffs on the line. No mandate was given from the front office, but some staffers felt that the higher-ups wanted to see what their No. 22 overall pick could do. Shanahan did his best to bring Manziel up to speed, but it was evident he wasn’t ready to play when he started against the Bengals, and flopped miserably.
Now, it appears that general manager Ray Farmer is willing to give Manziel another shot next year, and not everyone in the building is in agreement that the former Heisman Trophy winner has what it takes to succeed. Browns coach Mike Pettine has said the quarterback situation is “muddy at best” and that the Browns will leave no stone unturned in their bid to fix it.
Shanahan is receiving head coaching interest this year because of the job he did with an offense that had major issues. He lost all three of his Pro Bowlers for much of the season in center Alex Mack, receiver Josh Gordon and tight end Jordan Cameron.
Still, Shanahan helped the Browns climb to the top of the AFC North after their 24-3 rout of the Bengals. At one point, he had quarterback Brian Hoyer in the top 10, and the offense was ranked No. 14 overall as late as week 11.
“(Becoming a head coach) has always been my goal,” Shanahan said in October. “About 95 percent of coaches, if you ask them, that’s eventually their goal. Everyone wants to be at the top of their profession, and head coach is the top of our profession.”The climate, however, is such that Shanahan might be willing to leave even if he doesn’t get a head coaching job. What’s more, he’s excited about the idea of trying to win a Super Bowl with his father and finishing the job they started in Washington.
The Browns would have to let him out of his contract in order for him to make a lateral move. Not even the additional title of assistant head coach would be enough for the Browns to have to let him go.
Shanahan, who’s been an offensive coordinator for seven seasons, worked under Mike in Washington from 2010-2013, where the two led the Redskins’ offense to a top 10 finish in 2013. Quarterback Robert Griffin III also enjoyed his finest season in Washington under the Shanahans, and running back Alfred Morris rushed for more than 1,200 yards in each of his first two seasons.
Shanahan looked forward to stepping out his father’s shadow in Cleveland and re-establishing himself as a top coordinator in his own right. But if Mike takes a head job and wants to hire Kyle, it’s a good bet he’ll ask the Browns to let him go.
At that point, they’d likely have no choice but to accommodate him, considering it’s the top offensive position on the club. If he doesn’t want to be here, the Browns are unlikely to force him to stay.


Let me give you the basic rundown of that article: Kyle Shanahan was going to interview with the Buffalo Bills.

That should pretty much explain the situation in Cleveland. Pure, uncut, grade A dysfunction. Coaches are bailing to go somewhere that’s colder and more depressing. Am I surprised? Of course not. I’m already positive that no real player wants to be here, why would any smart coach want to stick around long enough to get fired for coaching a bunch of losers? The problem is that Kyle isn’t even a proven coach yet. He’s still mostly known for his dad winning a Super Bowl in the 90’s. We’re at the point where we can’t afford to lose coaches who’ve MET winning coaches. I’ve met Gerry Faust a couple of times. That pretty much means I deserve an interview to be a tight end coach at least right?
This whole situation just sets the franchise back another 3 years on top of the 4 years it was already set back form the new head coach and 4 years of bad drafting. We’re basically looking at 2022 before we can expect the Browns to be relevant again. And that all hinges on whether or not we blow up the coaching staff after next season.

It’s good to be back.


Once an infected gay has wrestled you to the ground, it’s likely the virus has already been spread. Drinking Lysol has not shown to slow the process despite initial reports that such an action could possibly cure a carrier of the disease.


The prognosis is not good for Johnny Football. First he can’t beat out a cripple for the starting QB job and now he might be infected with a career threatening and potentially “fabulous” disease. Michael Sam is full blown gay balls and it’s already threatening his chances to make an NFL roster. Johnny’s football career is already a hot mess and any more distractions will only make his path to becoming a starting QB more unlikely.

Per league sources: Johnny was seen pooping rainbows in the locker room after the Saturday night preseason game vs. the Rams. Coach Pettine declined comment as to whether or not he believed Johnny was already showing signs of infection. Manziel’s agent also declined comment but mentioned that his client was scheduled to test drive a Prius on Sunday.

The hits just keep coming for the Browns.