The Cavs

Posted: June 21, 2016 in Sports
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So I’m not going to let myself be dilusional enough to think that anyone is going to read this except for myself 10 years from now. But this whole blog is basically a coping mechanism I use to deal with a lot of disappointment I feel as a Cleveland sports fan. I watch a goddamn awful lot of sports and think about them even more so I need a device that saves a few random snapshots of my thoughts every once in a while that I can reflect on some time down the road. Maybe my kids will read some of this crap one day and understand why their dad is the way he is. 

I don’t think I will forget any of this for my whole life but just in case my memory slips a little here is what I loved the most about this whole experience:

The game flew by. I remember complaining every timeout that I hated the stupid commercials (D Wade drinking frozen Gatorade in the fortress of solitude) but it was over in an instant. Not unlike my wedding day. Just a complete whirlwind of emotion. 

Kyrie is a cold blooded killer. I was talking with some friends a few months ago and said that the Cavs could beat the Warriors if he out shot Steph. Watching him the last few years I knew he could do it. I honestly think Klay is a better shooter than Steph but I think Kyrie is a better clutch shooter than both of them. And that’s not taking anything away from either of them, I constantly live in fear of seeing the ball leave their hands toward the hoop. But there are times when Kyrie is so hot that I have no doubt in my mind that the ball is going in. ​

I had total confidence in LeBron going into the game. I knew we had the best player in the world on our team and in a one game playoff and that’s the most you can ask for. He didn’t disappoint with a triple double and the most important chase down block I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s been doing those his whole career and it’s always just been a bonus to everything else he does, but now you see how truly important it is to never give up on a play. 

Plus I appreciated his throwback over acted broken arm injury at the most important moment in the history of the franchise. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched him rolling around under the basket being absolutely convinced he was dying only to see him pop up and knock down his free throws. 

Love pulled through with a solid game and JR may have saved the season in the 3rd quarter with 8 straight points to erase an 8 point deficit. If the Warriors push it up to 10 or 12, the game is probably  over. 

I’ll always be thankful to have seen a championship in Cleveland. I’ve never felt like a loser for cheering for them just constantly disappointed. But the weight of maybe never experiencing the pure joy of winning one has been lifted and now all I can think about is how much I want to feel this for the Indians and Browns. 

Ken (fan of the World Champion Cleveland Cavaliers)


There’s not much more to say than that I guess. Obviously the series is not over yet as the Cavs are only (only…🙄) down 2-0 in the series with the next 2 in Cleveland. But after that pathetic blowout loss in game 2 I’m not feeling very optimistic for the next few games. But more distressing than our defense/offense/effort is the sense I’m getting that some loser fans are already looking for the “brightside” or “positive spin” on the situation. Loser bullshit like “good for Andy, he deserves it.” 

I’m sorry to tell you but there is NO positive spin for any of this. The Cavs are getting their brains beat in and there are going to to be some serious changes coming next year. Does LeBron leave? I doubt it and I’m not even concerned about it. Does Love or Irving get traded? One of them does I bet. Whichever LeBron doesn’t want around anymore obviously. Will we get a real big? We fucking better. And maybe most importantly we get some heart. Some asshole with a chip on his shoulder who can contribute. An Igoudala type. 

A quick word about Andy: yes he was with the team for a long time and endured a lot and became a fan favorite because of his hustle and hair. But he also got paid a lot (horrible contract that to this day I can’t believe the Cavs gave him) got injured even more, can’t really score, is a middle of the road rebounder, and is overall not very productive. Actually the whole reason he was traded was because he isn’t good anymore. So now he plays garbage time with The Warriors and will probably win a title. Fuck ’em. He never helped us win anything. Maybe he’ll bring his ring back to Cleveland and show it to everyone! Won’t you be so happy to go see it? 


We’ve all been there. You’re so pissed you don’t know what your body is doing. It’s how tuff guys (proper spelling for the situation) shatter their hands punching door frames and it’s how 60 dollar Xbox controllers end up exploding on the floor after you’ve come to the realization that you’re not good at call of duty. 

But when Capuano’s brain goes into auto pilot rage he’s not trying to put a hole in the nearest wall, not even close. He carefully opens his faux leather Lens Crafters case, gently unfolds a soft microfiber towel to lightly wipe off any dust or debris that may have collected on his scratch resistant, progressive bifocal lens reading glasses and then he PUTS THEM THE FUCK ON!! The madness doesn’t end there though because his next impulsive twitch is to take them RIGHT BACK THE FUCK OFF!! Seconds later he’s looking around at all of the carnage wondering what just happened. Did he really just see slightly better for a split second or was it all a dream? Did his team really just go down 2 goals in a close out game or is he in the matrix still? Only way to know for sure is to check the scoreboard by putting on those glasses again! Hulk smash!

A goddamn Canadian Cavs fan. Unbelievable. 

Look, I understand he’s sitting courtside and has more money in his pocket than I’ve ever had in my life but I can’t have this shit. You don’t buy your way into fandom. You don’t get picked up from school in a limo and have a pre game VIP meet and greet with the players and look like you fix your hair with a blow dryer and Aqua net. You know this kid loves Drake right? He loves The Blue Jays and the shitty Maple Leafs too. You know he loves everything about being Canadian. Why can’t he just love his stupid Raptors and leave my team out of it?! 

Nothing better than seeing other fans melt down all the while pretending they have any more class than other fans. When the world is shitting on your team you throw the nearest thing you can find on the field in protest. That’s just what you do. Thank god most people don’t bring their infant children to games



So I’m sitting here waiting out the Celtics vs. Hawks game (just an appetizer before the Warriors game where I’m absolutely convinced Curry will somehow leave the arena in an ambulance by the 2nd quarter) and I’m watching stupid Kelly Olynyk running up and down the court like a fucking goon and I’m reminded about how much I hate his entire existence and the idiotic argument that what he did to Kevin Love in the playoffs was somehow an accident. It’s just an insult to anyone with a shred of common sense and two eyeballs that he didn’t absolutely rip his arm out of socket on purpose. The most common argument is that Olynyk is just a big clumsy goofball that doesn’t have control over his body and he accidentally latched onto his arm and fell. These are the same assholes who will try to tell you with  a straight face that Brady doesn’t deflate footballs. They just hide behind the good fortune that has befallen them and will bitch like everyone else when a call goes against them. Let’s not kid ourselves. They are just doing what any other fan would do. It’s like how Ravens fans were able to stand behind Ray Lewis all those years. There’s no way they could actually feel good as a person for cheering for him, but they lie to themselves because they know it’s their only chance to win. They buy their kids a murder’s jersey, and pretend they’re a respectable human. But I get it, I would do the same thing if I ever had a player on my team worth cheering for. It’s all part of being a fan. You sell your soul for winning. I’m prepared to do it. Just get me that cheater/murder/rapist who is good enough to win me anything and I’ll be on board.

But anyway my point is that Kelly Olynyk is a piece of shit and if he really is a clumsy oaf, then where are all of the other season ending injuries he’s caused  other players? Where is the pile of broken arms he’s left in his wake due to his inability of properly block out an opposing rebounder? Surely he would be injuring  other players on a nightly basis if he was clumsy enough to dislocate a shoulder trying to “get to a loose ball”?

Oh, he’s only ever done that to one player? In the last game of a playoff sweep where he was being dominated for the first 3 games and he was frustrated? Where he was so mentally dominated that he just decided to resort to the most bush league tactic in the history of sport and he intentionally hurt another player? Oh yeah, that’s what happened. I almost forgot. Kelly Olynyk is a pathetic goon and if JR Smith doesn’t sucker punch him in the back of his head in the first 3 minutes of the game the next time the Cavs play the Celtics then I will be greatly disappointed.





(Reuters) – Johnny Manziel‘s reign as starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns proved short-lived as the National Football League club demoted him on Tuesday one day after a partying video of him hit social media sites.Browns coach Mike Pettine said in a statement issued by the team that veteran quarterback Josh McCown would start Monday’s game against the Baltimore Ravens and would be his starter “going forward”.Manziel, known by the nickname “Johnny Football” from his standout collegiate years at Texas A&M, had been named the Browns’ starter for the rest of the season after throwing for 372 yards in a loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers on Nov 15.The quarterback change was decided after a series of photos and videos surfaced on Monday of Manziel allegedly partying last weekend in Texas during the team’s bye week.

Manziel’s erratic off-field behavior has been an issue with the Browns (2-8) since he was drafted in the first round of the 2014 NBA Draft.The 22-year-old Manziel spent 10 weeks in a treatment facility during the offseason for undisclosed reasons and last month he was questioned by police after witnesses reported him driving dangerously and getting physical in an altercation with girlfriend.

Manziel was cleared of any wrongdoing in the incident.”Everyone in this organization wants what is best for Johnny just like we do for every player in our locker room,” Pettine said in the statement.

“I’m especially disappointed in his actions and behavior because he has been working very hard.”

In limited action last season, Manziel completed 18 of 35 passes with no touchdowns and two interceptions.

“The improvements from last year to this year have been tremendous but he still has to consistently demonstrate that he has gained a good understanding of what it takes to be successful at the quarterback position on this level,” said the coach. “It goes well beyond the field.

“We are going to continue to support him in every way possible, but at this point, we’ve decided it’s best to go with Josh as the starter going forward.”



This is about the greatest move Pettine could have made at this point. It’s his final “Fuck You” to Ray Farmer, Jimmy Haslam, and the Browns organization as a whole. He obviously never wanted Manziel on the team in the first place and will make every effort possible to make sure he never gets a shot at being an NFL QB. What better way to put another nail in Farmer’s coffin then to absolutely refuse to play his beloved first round, future of the franchise, gonna “wreck this league together” quarterback then to bury him so far down the bench that Farmer would look like an even bigger idiot if he didn’t cut him immediately?  Pure genius move in my estimation.

But as a friend pointed out there is no way that Pettine is that smart and he probably just thinks Josh McCown really is his best option for winning a NFL football game. Josh McCown. Career loser. had a crazy revelation that flying on planes is a lot like watching porn. Don’t believe me? Watch this:


So in reality this is the best case scenario for the Browns. They are in line for the first overall pick in the draft and they need the best quarterback available and should probably use the next to picks on that position too just to be sure. They’ve already been losing due to a combination of horrible coaching, horrible players, and horrible jerseys. But now because Pettine is stupid enough to think that running out the exact same team out there with the exact same busted game plan is going to somehow win a game this all but guarantees that the Browns don’t win another game this year and finish 2-14 with the first draft pick. It really IS genius! Pettine is getting what he wants and fans are getting what is really NEEDED. New GM, coaches and players are all in our future and finally we will have hope again.