Kellan Lutz vs. The Rock

Posted: December 2, 2013 in popular culture & entertainment
Tags: , , , , , ,

This has happened many times in Hollywood. Two companies are putting out the same story in slightly different ways around the same time. In this case it’s Hercules. I, like many other guys, love these movies where there is a shit ton of fighting with swords, gore, and sexy naked gu..I mean ladies. But how in the fuck did Kellan Lutz’s manager (or cousin from 30 Rock) lutz
convince him this was a good idea? I have a feeling the conversation went like this.. Manager-Well Kellan they want you to be Hercules. You’re in really good shape, handsome, and we think this will be financially agreeable for both of us. KL- Why thank you. Please tell me more. MS- Judging from the trailer I just watched, we will basically film from the set of the Starz tv show Spartacus but with worse graphics, we are going to blatantly copy scenes from Immortals (which you were already in) with the electric whip thingy, you will use the voice from 300 when talking to your men with the same helmet on that Leonidis had, and we are going to have some undeserving noble guy who looks like Joaquin Phoenix without the lip thing, play his part from Gladiator and treat you the same way he treated Russell Crowe… KL- Well that sounds like everything has been cut and pasted from other successful movies and you’re just adding me into it…Manager- Since there is another version with the fucking ROCK coming out shortly after yours, we need to get this made asap. You in?…KL- Fuck it, I have to erase the Twilight memories from people’s heads somehow…

The guy is shredded, but nowhere near the Rock

The guy is shredded, but nowhere near the Rock

I don’t care who you are, if someone that looks like THIS is going to play the same role as you even within the same decade, you turn it the fuck down.

hercules_potato2

rock1

rock2

-Jesse

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