Ellsbury to the Evil Empire

Posted: December 4, 2013 in Sports
Tags: , , , , ,
Official Team Photo

Official Team Photo

USA Today- The Yankees reached a tentative agreement Tuesday night with prized free agent center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury on a seven-year contract for $153 million, a person with direct knowledge of the negotiations told USA TODAY Sports. The person was unauthorized to speak publicly because the deal had not been announced by the Yankees.

As a Yankee fan, I love this deal for many reasons. First of all I have hated Jacoby for years because of what he was able to do on the field and on the baseline. Will he knock 30 homers like Grandy, of course not. But the motherfucker is fast. Add that to the other outfielders, Brett Gardner (the other fastest white guy in baseball) and Ichiro (who even at like 60 is faster than most people), and you will be hard pressed to hit a fly ball and have it hit the ground against the Yanks. That kind of confidence will do wonders for the rest of the guys in the infield knowing they have a hell of an outfield backing them up. Secondly the guy can get on base. Like I said before he won’t hit a ton out of the park (even though that right porch will look amazing) he can get on base and that’s where he is most dangerous. With a healthy Jeter, and those guys in the outfield, we will have a lot of speed and extra bases available to us so we no longer have to rely on the big bats we don’t have anymore. Although they are spending a lot more than they said they would (hopefully now on pitching), they are at least doing it on things they need- guys who can get on base and make the most of their time there, strong defense, and depth. I think the McCann signing and now Kelly Johnson from the Rays will prove to be very good for the team in the future. And if Robbie Cano decides that he will take less money but accumulate more wins as a Yankee than a fucking Mariner, it will be Ring City in the Bronx. Come and get it.

As a side note, it really does help that Jacoby is really good looking. I don’t know or care if he is married, seeing all that New York pussy getting soaking wet every time they see you will go a looooong way to helping with your confidence. Gotta be better than those toothless Southie bitches yelling “Fuck me wicked haaahhhd Jacoby, wicked haahhdd

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-Jesse

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