Spiraling Hot Dogs Becomes New Way to Completely Waste Time

Posted: December 4, 2013 in popular culture & entertainment, Sports
Tags: , , , , , ,

….Then soak hot dog in milk and chill for 8 hours.
Gimmie a break! Don’t know body have time for this shit! By the time I’m cooking a hot dog or even drunkenly figuring out I’m hungry, the last thing I’m going to do is take my time to spruce it up. It’s the quick fix food. Something to give your liver a quick breather and you can eat it in the time that you’re pouring your next Crown n’ Coke. A hotdog is something you eat in 4 seconds without even looking at it and you’re praying that no one is watching you eat it either. It’s next to impossible to scarf one down in a room with more than 3 guys without hearing something about your ‘technique.’ “Remember to cup the bun!”
So while I appreciate the idea of spiraling AND grilling a hotdog, it has far too many steps for me to become a reality. If I ever show up at a BBQ where they’re spiraling hotdogs and stuffing burgers with cheese or even pouring beer into a glass I can’t say that I won’t try all of these fancy delicacies, or even enjoy them. But all of these extra steps just take valuable time away from the true goal. Having the beer or food already in your body so you don’t have to hold it anymore thus freeing up your hands to check fantasy scores and fondle your nuts. And I really hope I’m not dropping some kind of bombshell here but, you do know that you don’t have to cook a hot dog at all right?! Like, they’re basically bologna in tube form. Hot dogs were an afterschool snack of choice as a kid because I could have one from the fridge to my stomach and be sitting in front of Duck Tales with my hands on my nuts in less than one minute from walking in the door.
-Ken

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