Best Case Scenario For the Silver and Black

Posted: January 2, 2014 in Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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Now that the season is over for 80% of the NFL (most likely true), all the arm chair GMs of the world are feverishly planning out what their team should do next. In Free Agency, in the draft, in the front office. Unlike the poor shmuck I call the other half of Blown Call (Ken “Mr Beleiveland Browns”) my team has for once decided to air in the side of good judgment and keep their head coach. You may say “Hey Jesse the Raiders fucking suck, even with the same coach that division is too tough and once again, the Raiders suck!” Well guess what homie, you are right! They do suck, but they also were paying out 50 million dollars to people not even on the team. They have a GM that comes from the Packers so he knows a thing or two about winning and what it takes. The GM also knows that he has to cut the fat of the Al Davis (RIP) imagesI9C54N70days to start brand new and were talking Andy Reid type fat here people. I know teams always say rebuilding but in this case, the Raiders needed to combust, clear the debris, and then start from scratch. Next year they have the 5th pick in the draft that is loaded with talent (Hoping Clowney falls through), and they also have 60 million in money to spend on resigning the right players and making moves in the free agency. So here are my bullet points for what will make the Raiders better next year.
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Current Roster– Kill Them All! They have roughly 8 players who are good to potentially great and the rest are fill ins for depth. Rashad Jennings and Marcel Reece need to run the ball all the fucking time until we get a QB in there. Andre Holmes will be a great WR and Rod Streater is the possession guy they need for a new/young QB. Guy almost broke 1k yards with dick for QBs. The defense has some potential if they keep Lamarr Houston and Pat Sims on the line. Sio Moore will be a star LB and Miles Burris is a crazy tough white LB. DBs are either bad, hurt, old, or bad. The guy they drafted who could be good almost fucking died.

Only reason DA gets to come back

Only reason DA gets to come back


Front Office– Keep the coach. Even though I feel he was the reason behind many of their losses, you need consistency. They were really good in the first half of games but never made adjustments and played flat in the 2nd half of games, but he will learn to get better.
Keep this in your mind Rivers

Keep this in your mind Rivers


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Draft– As everyone knows the Raiders are shitty at evaluating talent. We had the 3rd pick and traded with the Dolphins for #12. Good move if you get at least 3 picks, they got one 2nd rounder. And with those 1st and 2nd round picks they drafted hurt players. Still shitty but it was literally the GM’s first draft so fuck off. This year they either end up with a highly rated QB (Bortles, Manziel- imagine him in Silver and Black), a great WR (Watkins), or hopefully Clowney. It would be impossible to fuck this up if you are Reggie McKenzie (GM).
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Free Agency– My big hope here is that they don’t draft a QB in the first round this year. I would much rather have a mediocre vet than ANOTHER rookie who needs time to learn. They have Matt McGloin who can be a serviceable back up if needed, but Freeman or Cutler (The Bears signed Jay Cutler to a 7 year deal as I typed this) would be a great addition for the right price. (Freeman played his best ball under Greg Olson the OC so that’s how I rationalize that move) Next they need to find someone who can be the #1 WR for at least half of the season who is a vet as well. This is a young team with great potential at the skill positions, they just need someone to play follow the leader. Andre Holmes will be the #1 guy at some point he just needs to watch someone else who knows the position. Eric Decker would work out great. Then they need depth at all positions. That’s where the GM seems to work well because he literally took no money in cap space and put out a football team week in and week out. So he can find guys who want to play for small amounts of money and we need as many as possible to help out with injuries and the such.
SWITCH TO WR!

SWITCH TO WR!


Terrelle Pryor– Yes he needs his own section. This guy is a freak. He is tall, he is strong and he is fast as fuck. Yes he could be a decent back up and come in every once in awhile but the guy needs to be on the field. I don’t know if it’s ever happened but he needs to switch to a receiving TE or flat out WR. He has hands (he showed that off in college) and no 5’10” CB can stick with him especially on a jump ball.
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Owner– WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS GUY A NEW FUCKING HAIRSTYLE? JESUS H CHRIST!
So if all those things happen I see the Raiders at least contending for a Wild Card next year, and even better in the future. Peyton Manning has to retire at some point and Andy Reid’s luck will run out at some point. Jesus can’t feel that bad about his son forever to give him more good fortunes. But since I am not a GM and can’t make any decisions outside of Madden, here’s to 10 more years of shitty seasons!

-Jesse

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