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People- A wolf is no match for a shark. But luckily, Leonardo DiCaprio survived a close encounter with a great white a few years back after getting caught in a cage with one for a few terrifying moments. “I had a huge fear of sharks, and when I did Blood Diamond in 2006 I actually got stuck in a cage with a great white, which was awesome,” the Wolf of Wall Street star, 39, reveals in an appearance Tuesday on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. “It was a gigantic great white … They actually said in 30 years this has never happened, but the tuna kind of got stuck on the top of the cage and the great white leapt out and tried to bite it and went into the cage with me. “Half of its body was in and out, and I flattened down at the bottom, and it was this far away, and it chomped a few times but I survived it.” 

This is the type of news I’m glad I haven’t read until years after it happened. Losing someone like Leonardo DiCaprio at such a young age is like the world losing Derek Jeter. Too talented, too good looking, too many chicks out there left to fuck. It would throw the world off kilter and change everything. Just think if Leo went out in 2006, we would be left without (possibly depending on the filming times) The Departed, then definitely Shutter Island, Inception, Django, Gatsby and the Wolf of Wall Street. Of course all of those films could be made with someone else but without Leo they aren’t the same at all. Think of Shutter Island with Mark Wahlberg and his one facial expression. Inception with Ben Affleck, kinda self explanatory. Django with James Franco doing the squinty thing. Gatsby with Keanu Reeves being very Keanu Reeves. And finally, the Wolf of Wall Street starring Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. The last one I would check out. Let’s all take time to thank the Lord the shark didn’t take out Leo and give us years and years of shitty movies with hack actors. I bet Marty Scorsese is pretty happy. Along with every models ‘giner in the world.

Who has a better stat sheet honestly? Jeter or Leo?
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-Jesse

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