Emma Watson, You Bitch

Posted: January 10, 2014 in humor, movies, popular culture & entertainment
Tags: , , ,

Look at that smug beard

Look at that smug beard


People.com- Emma Watson has cast her spell on a new man. The Harry Potter star, 23, has been spotted kissing and cuddling with Oxford University rugby star Matt Janney, 21, on a Caribbean vacation ahead of her appearance at the Golden Globe Awards this weekend. A source told Britain’s Mirror of the romantic tropical getaway: “They didn’t have a care in the world. Matt was very protective of Emma – often putting his arm around her.”

Worse news I’ve heard all week. The love of my life has found someone that I do not want to fight for her affection. Emma Watson, who is easily the hottest girl in the universe, is dating a rugby player. Weird british band guys who wear skinny jeans, fine. Weird dorks that go to Brown and recite poetry, bring it on. I will ruin their lives. But a rugby player, even if they are smaller than I am, are not guys I want to throw down with. Then she has to rub it in with PDA in the Caribbean. I’m so heated right now I’m going to have to beat off twice as much today to calm down.
And I didn’t think I needed a reason to juice again but I now have found an excuse. I’m coming for you Janney. Keep your hands to your fuckin self buddy!
Here are some pictures of the future Mrs. Jesse
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-Jesse

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