Brady’s longest pass of the day

There’s really not much to say about the playoff games this weekend. The four best teams in the league are going to the conference championship games. What’s surprising is that some 9-7 train wreck of a team didn’t sneak in. It can’t be very often that all of the favorites won. (I’m not going to check for sure because I don’t want to disprove my point.) But that’s parody in the NFL for you. Good teams with good players and coaches win and bad teams lose. Wait, is that parody? No. But that’s the trendy thing to say so I threw it in. So here’s what we learned:

The mind fuck laid on you by Bill Belechick will be a thousand times worse than any on field last second gut wrenching loss the Patriots will ever hand you. Tom Brady taken basically taken out of the game plan and now Lagarrette Blount is going to throw a haymaker across your chin and bulldoze you for 166 yards and 4 TDs? How do you game plan for that? Oh yeah, you have Andrew Luck throw 4INTs and prove to everyone why you don’t go slinging the ball around in shitty weather. Could’ve just handed the ball off to the two time 1st Round MVP Trent Richardson. Good job Colts. Thanks for the draft pick.

The news out of Denver is looking…normal. The Bronco’s played like Super Bowl champs for 3 quarters until they let the Chargers get a little too close at the end. And Manning missed a perfect spokesman opportunity for Coors Lite when he said he wanted a Bud Lite after the game. You play in Colorado. C’mon. I know he’s usually too concussed to know what year it is but his agent needs to hook that up for him. Nothing better to wash down a disgusting Papa John’s pizza than a shitty watered down American beer. Also Manning will be meeting with doctors after the season to make sure his head is still attached and he might play next year if he doesn’t paralyze himself pulling off his helmet in disgust after they lose next week.

The Niners are a badass team with tons of tattoos and swag, but I don’t know how they are going to Seattle and beating the best defense in the league. And I don’t care about all of that 12th man crap. They could play in the silent empty vacuum of space and the Seahawks still win 4 out of 5 times. Although I would love to see Dawson kick a game winning 60 yard field goal into the wind with the clock at 0:00 just to know he had some happiness in his career and it wasn’t a total waste rotting away in Cleveland.

Patriots and Seahawks play in New York for the Super Bowl. Seahawks win 24-21. Sell everything you have and bet it all. Guaranteed lock. Can’t lose. #moneyaintathang



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