The Cavs Lost By 44 Points Last Night

Posted: January 13, 2014 in breaking news, comedy, humor, popular culture & entertainment, satire, Sports
Tags: , , , , , , ,

This man is wondering why you’re still watching basketball.


I’m not even sure why I give half a shit about the NBA anymore. We all know that the games are fixed right? I mean Tim Donaghy wasn’t a dream was it? It can’t be considered a legitimate sport at this point. And if that’s not bad enough, the stars of the league ban together to form super teams that can’t be matched. It’s a joke. But all the Vegas, gangster and player collusion aside, YOU CAN”T LOSE A GAME BY 44 POINTS! You just can’t. Here’s what happens when you lose by 44 points:

1.) Coach immediately fired. No questions, no explanation needed. When the game is over the coach is to leave the bench, walk up into the stands and leave the arena with the rest of the stiffs who were as helpless to affect the outcome of the game as he was.

2.) Entire starting lineup suspended one game without pay. They clearly did not show up to play; therefore they should not be paid to play.

3.) 50% refund for all fans who attended if losing team played at home. Only 50% because you are only getting halfway ripped off. The other team did their job and those players have insane guaranteed contracts that must be honored. Also, if more than 3 white guys (Euro’s don’t count) are in the starting lineup, then the GM is immediately fired.

-Ken

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