Gnarly bro!

Gnarly bro! Clearwater police are seeking the public’s help in finding a suspect seen on surveillance video using a unique method to steal a television and make his getaway. A skateboard. Police say the suspect stole a 32-inch flat-screen TV as the Super Target at Clearwater Mall, 2747 Gulf-to-Bay Blvd, was preparing to close on Wednesday about 11 p.m. He then walked to the TV section, where he took a 32-inch Element LCD TV and was seen on video carrying it while he skated through parts of the store. When store personnel confronted him near the store’s exit, he brandished a utility knife and then ran out the door, TV and skateboard in his hand, police say. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said John Brown, the robbery detective investigating the case. “He gets an A for creativity. But he committed a serious crime and we need to find him.” The suspect, who was in the store for only three minutes and faces robbery and aggravated assault charges, is described as a white male in his 20s with a thin build. He is about 5 feet 11 and 150 pounds, and was wearing a black hoodie, dark jeans, green Nike shoes and had a black backpack. The make, model and year of the skateboard are unknown, but it was brown with orange-yellow wheels.

Do people still skateboard in their 20s? I thought it was one of those things that you try out as a little kid and if you go pro you keep doing it, otherwise you just become an adult and buy a fucking car. Maybe if this guy had a car he would’ve stolen a TV bigger than 32 inches. I’m not a TV snob or anything but 32 is pretty small nowadays. In a world where TVs are bigger than Shaq and cell phones are like 40 inches, taking a chance of jail time on a 32 is just stupid. Imagine telling that story while playing dominos. “What are you in for cuz?” “Stole a TV from Target (it’s a hard Tar-get in jail, if you try and say Tar-jay they kill you)” “Damn dawg that’s tight, what was it a 60 in 3D?” “Naw man it was a 32” Then everyone proceeds to rape him until he bleeds from the eyes. But I honestly don’t know who is more retarded the kid or the guys making the description. That is the most basic way to describe a kid in Florida. White, skinny, hoody, jeans, Nikes. And make model year for a skateboard? How would that information even help? Like if they said it’s a 2005 Alien Workshop Model F that kid’s neighbor would be able to call the Hotline and report him? Gimme a fucking break it’s a god damn skateboard. It’s probably in the dumpster of the store he just robbed because they’re like 10 bucks.

Love how the store cop was fixing his belt chasing the kid. Probably taking a huge dump because the store was closing and didn’t even get a chance to wipe. Stinky pig (as the skater kids would say)

I truly hate how fucking tough skateboarders think they are. You are two boots away from rollerblading you douchebag


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