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After writing the Motley Crue blog I think it was only normal that I began thinking about sex tapes. Tommy and Pam, Vince and Pam, Verne Troyer and whoever decided to actually fuck him. But then I started to think, who do I most want to see in a sex tape? And not just the chick, I don’t want to say oh well I want to see Scarlett Johannson get pounded out by some random porn guy. You have to pick which couple, past or present, you wish made a sex tape then had “stolen” by their publicist. Here are my top choices, in no real order…
–Each one fulfills a good category on any solid Porn site–

A) Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel..Since watching her clip in Blue Powder or Powder Blue (not the relevant part of the story) and seeing her ass in Chuck and Larry, it became a must to see her really work that thing. JT is a good dancer so I’m sure he’s got some cool as moves. Only if he has the bleached afro though. (Category- POV/Amateur) Add Mila Kunis for a threesome and I came thinking about that….images5Y3PO4JK

B) Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.. Now I’m not much of an interracial porn guy but one had to make the list so here it is (sorry Bey and HOV). Read her Tweets and check her pictures, she’s a hot Asian blend with a freaky/funny side and he has the voice of an angel. Combine the two and I see him playing the piano and singing while she’s pulling beads out of the BH. (Interracial/Anal)chrissy-teigen-nude

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C) Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.. It’s probably blasphemy to go against Bruce Willis in his Die Hard days, but I want Demi after she had all the surgeries. She’s had some kids, been through divorce, ton of plastic and still smoking hot. Kind of a deep voice, very dominating and Ashton is just there for the ride. Hoping he won’t make any of those dumb ass voices to ruin the mood. (MILF/Dominating) Add Mila Kunis for an angry threesome…I came TWICE! imagesNHOK30RX

D) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.. I’m pretty sure this one is obvious but here’s my explanation. This has to take place when they first got together and not anytime when she weighed like 50 lbs. They were busted for making too much noise (of the animal variety) while on vacation and that bitch is fucking crazy so I see a lot of rough stuff, maybe hot wax, maybe squirting, who knows. It’s all available for Angie. And not for nothing Brad Pitt in Troy is hotter than most chicks out there so I don’t count out strapping him up either. (Squirting/Rough Sex/ Strap On/Anal)

Right after a good fuck

Right after a good fuck

E) Taylor Swift Gangbang.. This little slut has been prancing around with every good looking guy under the age of 35 and never gets called a whore. She bangs, breaks up and writes a #1 hit yet she’s had more dick in her over the past 5 years than anyone else on the scene. So line up all the guys she’s been linked to and run the TRAIN BABY! (Gangbang/Dancing Bear/Bukakke)untitled

Left outs-
David Beckham and Spice Girl: Two best looking people ever, too prude. Watch Spice Girls, she’s just a stuck up bitch. Missionary and condoms galore.
Ellen DeGeneres and Hot girl: Ellen freaks me out, probably would wear Keds the whole time. Gross.
Jeter and anyone: Kinda wanna see anything he would do (sex tape wise), but it’s like the Holy Grail, you cannot look directly at it without dying.

-Jesse

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