Atlanta Snowpocolipse Update: Lunatics Are Having Babies in the Streets

Posted: January 30, 2014 in breaking news, comedy, humor, manly humor, satire, television
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You’re actually watching a video right now…

First baby of an entire generation born on an Atlanta highway.

ABCnews-The parents of newborn baby Grace will have quite a story to tell their daughter of how she came into the world, born on an Atlanta highway in the middle of a rare snowstorm that paralyzed the region.
Grace was born around 5:30 p.m. Tuesday in her parents’ stranded car on Interstate 285, the loop of highway that encircles Atlanta.
She was delivered by her father, who was not identified, and Officer Tim Sheffield of the Sandy Springs Police Department, who was on the road to help drivers stranded by the icy conditions.

“I could see the baby head like it was crowning so I went back to my car to get my first aid kit and some gloves and when I got back to the car the head had popped out,” Sheffield said.

Of course this happened. The Atlanta Snowpocolipse of 2014 will not be complete until at least 7 more children are born in the middle of the road. Idiots are abandoning their cars on the road and their children at school by the thousands. They’re paralyzed with fear at the sight of ice! God forbid they ever need anything out of the freezer. Pandemonium! If they even knew there was a show called Ice Road Truckers the whole state would be Jonestown all over again. Just Kool-Aid and dead bodies all over the highway.


Cute baby though.

I was looking to add a Jonestown picture but it is a damn depressing sight. I think I’ll go cry into some beer now….

This is the best I could do without slitting my wrists


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