McDonald’s Serving Heroin with Happy Meals

Posted: January 30, 2014 in breaking news, comedy, manly humor, popular culture & entertainment, satire
Tags: , , , , , ,

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Mashable.com- Pittsburgh McDonald’s employee sold heroin in Happy Meal boxes to customers who used the code phrase, “I’d like to order a toy,” according to police. Undercover officers from a local narcotics enforcement team made a buy from the accused employee after being tipped off by an informant, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Customers more in the mood for hard drugs than hot fries were allegedly instructed to order their “toys” at the drive-through, then collect their narcotics at the drive-through’s first window. The accused employee is 26-year-old Shantia Dennis of East Pittsburgh. The McDonald’s in question is reportedly located at 6361 Penn Ave. in the East Liberty neighborhood.

Can’t hate the player, just hate the game. Slinging fries and burgers all day at roughly 8 bucks an hour isn’t going to pay the bills like slinging 50 bags of heroin will. That has to be a super sneaky way to sell the black tar, no one expects McDonald’s. Sure weed gets sold in every single Micky D’s in the country because fast food and being high go hand in hand. But I don’t see too many munchies coming with smack. Really love the code words “I’d like to order a toy”, that’s top level shit. Fucking rats get you caught every time.

PS If you’re going to sell drugs, learn from the best. Tony told Pussy to stop pushing the H. He knew. (1:10)

-Jesse

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