Woman Breast Feeds Starving Puppy, Not as Cute as it Sounds

Posted: February 8, 2014 in breaking news, comedy, humor, manly humor, popular culture & entertainment, satire, Sports, television
Tags: , , , , ,

2 Likes is about 7,000 too many.

Yahoo News-A picture posted by an unidentified woman in Colorado is getting a lot of attention. As reported by KRDO News Channel 13, the lady, who asked to be kept anonymous, took a picture of her breastfeeding a puppy. Why did she do it? She claims it was to save the life of the lab-mix pup, the runt of his orphaned litter. She told KRDO, that the little fella, named Tubbs, wouldn’t eat from a bottle or take K-9 formula, “He just wasn’t taking it. I didn’t know what else to do, I was desperate and I just couldn’t bear sitting there watching it die. Literally what clicked in my head was like, put him on you, just pray to God he will take something and not die.” The woman admits that prior to doing it, she felt the action she would commit was taboo. There is no explanation as to why she felt compelled to share her actions on Facebook, but she did. From there it spread. Though some aren’t reacting well to it, she feels she did the right thing, saying “I can’t let their criticism bring me down when I did something right and I’ve seen the results. That dog is alive because I took that initiative.” The Colorado Springs station spoke with Dr. Amber Williams, who wasn’t concerned with that taboo aspect of this story, but rather the health risks. She said there are zoonotic diseases that can be passed from puppies to babies, and that human milk is not ideal for other animals. Fortunately, the woman who breastfed Tubbs says that she no longer nurses her 15-month-old child, so nothing will be passed. As for Tubbs, he’s no longer nursing either. KRDO says the little guy is now on formula.

Nothing crazy about this modern day Mother Teresa. Just trying to save the world one starving puppy at a time. I love her quick thinking and mostly her total lack of any identifiable characteristics that could prove her membership in the human race. Considering how the boob in that poor puppy’s mouth looks more like a foot, I can only assume the rest of her isn’t any better. If you really need to find an excuse to show your cans off on Facebook, try modeling a new shirt or at least show them feeding a human. You need to keep your barnyard feeders in your shirt any time there’s a camera even in the same building as you. Also, nice try telling everyone you don’t breast feed your 15 month old (verge of being too old anyway) when in fact your body is still making milk. Everyone (some women) knows that shit dries up after a couple of days unless this dog just happened to be starving the day after your kid finally told you to get your disgusting tit out of his face. But honestly I don’t have a real problem with it, as long as she’s not doing it in a restaurant. It’s already embarrassing enough for a guy to accidentally notice when a woman is breast feeding. Guaranteed if you only see it for half a second and you look up at the woman’s face, she is already glaring at you and contemplating on calling the police. If you’re the kind of numb skull who keeps checking back (to make sure the kid is latched on properly of course) with your dick in your hand then maybe you should just get your food to go and save yourself from the impending lewd act misdemeanor. But goddammit if there’s a dog hanging off her chest, you better believe EVERYONE is coming in for a closer look. And the camera phones are coming out too so be ready.

-Ken

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s