Bynum Was Suspended from Cavs for Being Awesome

Posted: February 13, 2014 in basketball, blown call, breaking news, comedy, humor, manly humor, popular culture & entertainment, satire, Sports, television
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“Melo B Ware better watch his back this Sunday at Summer Slam because I’m coming for you, brother!!! OOOO- YEAH!”

From Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo Sports:

“Only Bynum never made it to the early January guarantee date for his full $12.5 million salary in 2013-14, and self-destructed. He stopped trying on the floor, and became a disruptive presence in practices. Before Bynum was thrown out of his final practice and suspended, he was shooting the ball every time he touched it in a practice scrimmage, sources said – from whatever remote part of the court he had caught the ball.”

So when l found out that Bynum was suspended indefinitely and likely to be traded the immediate thought was that he got in a fight with Mike Brown or Kyrie. But this is soooo much better. Chucking up shots from anywhere on the floor as soon as you touch the ball is the NBA version of 3 year olds stripping naked and having tantrums in the middle of Wal-Mart when they can’t get a toy. I immediately questioned the signing in the first place but this makes it all worth it. The Cavs are burning harder than a dumpster fire in the middle of the sun and I have become completely complacent. I honestly don’t give a shit about this team anymore and could care less if they’re ever good again. The NBA is so fucked up right now there is no reason for anyone who is not a fan of the Heat to watch, and THEY don’t even show up until the playoffs and then they leave at halftime. A referee has already been busted for fixing games! It’s not a real sport anymore. It’s crossed the threshold and is now purely entertainment like WWE. Which is what makes Bynum the perfect player to have on your team. I wish he would have been pulling this shit all along. Why not sign Rodman to come off the bench to kick a camera man in the dick? Trade that try hard Varejao for World Peace, hand him a folding chair and send in into the stands to crack some skulls during one of our bi-weekly 40 point losses. I’d pay double to watch that.



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