Daytona 500 Review..I Can’t Believe I am Writing This

Posted: February 24, 2014 in blown call, breaking news, comedy, florida, humor, manly humor, popular culture & entertainment, Sports, television
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SI- This time, it wasn’t ‘the Big One’ that caused the biggest delay in the Daytona 500. It was hundreds of thousands of little ones, in the form of rain drops that fell long and steady on Sunday, pushing a scheduled daytime race well into the drenched Florida night. Finally, after a record-setting rain delay of 6 hours and 22 minutes had turned Daytona International Speedway into the world’s most expansive parking lot, the true Big One occurred, as Dale Earnhardt Jr. won the Great American Race for the first time in a decade. NASCAR Nation’s favorite son once again had his moment in the sun.

For a “sport” full of manly redneck men a little bit of rain sure makes them look like pussies. Grow your beards, chew some tobacky and pee in your suits but don’t move a muscle if there is a little rain on the road. Are there risks of death due to the rain and high speeds? Probably but that’s what the people want to see. Let the drivers fight and hydroplane all over the place and NASCAR will have another fan in this guy. Otherwise a bunch of cars drove in circles for like 19 god damn hours and one of them won. DALE JEWNUIR FUR LIFE!

-Jesse

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