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CNN- A husband and wife are reveling in their good fortune after finding $10 million in rare gold coins buried on their property in Northern California. The gold country discovery is thought to be the largest of its kind in U.S. history, according to David Hall, co-founder of Professional Coin Grading Service, which authenticated the find. “It’s quite a story. People were walking along on their property in Northern California, noticed something, began digging and they found cans of gold coins,” Hall said. “It should have happened to you and me.” They were walking their dog when they spotted something shiny on the ground. The couple dug and eventually discovered eight metal cans, containing more than 1,400 gold coins. No one knows how they got there, or who the coins might have belonged to.

First Cyrus dies and now this?? Sure it happened early last year but what the fuck. I go to work everyday, I raise my child the right way, I don’t cheat on my wife or taxes and I have to READ about some couple just stumbling into 10 fucking million dollars? Sure I could watch less porn, you know the rough stuff, but I do everything else by the book. I play the Powerball with the best numbers in Yankee history and I get nothing. I walk my dogs, all I step on is shit. One of these days I swear I better randomly find the Mona Lisa in mint condition on the side of the road or I’m just going to start murkin people.

Murk=murder
Also I’m just going to listen to old Jerky Boys calls to make myself feel better.

-Jesse

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