Former ‘Two And A Half Men’ Star Angus T. Jones Is A Dummy; Not His Fault

Posted: March 18, 2014 in blown call, breaking news, comedy, humor, manly humor, popular culture & entertainment, satire, Social Media, television
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Nerdy Religious Glasses: $700.
Disgusting Amish beard trimming: $10
Quitting your high paying job because of crippling guilt brought on by your religion: Priceless (by priceless I mean they will eventually suck all of the money out of him)

The Wrap-Former “Two and a Half Men” star Angus T. Jones has addressed his former show once again, saying that he was “a paid hypocrite” for the CBS comedy.

During an interview with Houston television station KHOU, Jones — who played Jake Harper on the series — took himself to task, admitting that he went along with the series even though it didn’t fit with his Christian beliefs.

Also read: ‘Two and a Half Men’ Casts ‘According to Jim’ Alum Kimberly Williams-Paisley

“[The show] was making light of topics in our world that are really problems for a lot of people, and I was a paid hypocrite, because I wasn’t OK with it but I was still doing it,” Jones said.

Though Jones is now a student in Colorado and recently spent time with Houston’s World Harvest Outreach Church, the 20-year-old added that he would consider acting again, if the gig was in alignment with his religious convictions.

“There’s a few different productions that do kind of Bible-based stories and stuff like that,” Jones noted.

Jones parted ways with “Two and a Half Men” last year after blasting the series, calling it “filthy” and imploring viewers not to watch it.

“If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men,’” Jones said in a video published online. “I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it. Please stop filling your head with filth. Please.”

Jones quickly issued an apology for his comments, saying in a statement, “I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed, I never intended that.”

I am I going to say the obvious thing here that everyone else is thinking? Am I going to bitch about this dumb kid’s ideals and beliefs having a self-inflicted head on collision with his gravy train that you and I would kill to be riding on? No, of course not. That would be stupid. He’s just an idiot kid who has a horrible name and looks like Happy Gilmore’s caddy (bum.) None of this is his fault. What could make you feel horrible about making a bunch of money that could set yourself and future generations up for their lives? (He made $11 million in 2013 alone) What could make you hate yourself so much when you’re a young man (who as I mentioned has a stupid name and is ugly) give up a lucrative career and move to Colorado to bore a bunch of people with your “Woe is me, I’m rich but wasn’t happy story?”

Religion.

Organized religion is sucking the soul out of this dumb (and extremely ugly with seriously, the WORST name imaginable for a human) kid, and I guarantee the church is getting a large cut of his fortune for all of their trouble of guilting him into his shame and “hypocrisy.” Good job religion. You’ve saved another one from the personal hell one anguishes through when they experience pride and accomplishment. It’s a terrible poison no one should taste and can only lead to despicable feelings of joy and happiness. Let us pray….

-Soap Box Ken

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