Why this walrus did not eat his face when he had the chance I’ll never know. The sports gods must have been out to lunch or something. But what a time to step out of the office assholes.

Let me quickly add up how many times in my life I’ve ever gotten eye level on the ground face to face with an animal that outweighs me by 700lbs. Exactly zero times. And that number ain’t moving anywhere for my whole life. I’ll die from something stupid I’m almost sure of it. But whatever the cause, it sure as hell won’t be recorded on a phone at Sea World.


Walrus seen here posing with the lunch that got away


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