My poor, poor, arteries

I’m so excited I can’t even think about going to bed. I’m definitely getting 2 waffle tacos. (Two syrup packets on each) That’s all I know for sure right now. Saw a bunch of fat losers holding the A.M. Crunch Wrap on a commercial earlier so now I’m feeling a little self conscious about getting one. They look small and I don’t want anyone to think of me negatively while I’m shoveling it down my throat in the parking lot one minute after pulling away from the drive thru. Also, would I actually have to say “A.M. Crunch Wrap” or could I just get away with saying “Crunch Wrap?” They’re not serving any other crunch wraps at 7 in the morning I hope. There’s no need for the extra words right? That’s just more time in between me and my nutritious breakfast full of regret and two days worth of self-loathing. Having to say “A.M.” is seriously going to be a deal breaker for me. I already don’t like ordering the XXL Tacos because I’m afraid I’ll say too many X’s or L’s and then the 47 year old high school drop out working at Taco Bell will think I’m an idiot. I can’t handle that kind of pressure. I better get a little buzz on before I go so I don’t fuck this up. So Stoked!!!

-Ken

I’m halfway into a panic attack think about ordering an “A.M. Crunch Wrap Supreme.” Like, that can’t be anything but spit and sour cream right?

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