Archive for the ‘Free Agency’ Category

Le Batard’s pathetic sign he actually paid money for…..

 

It’s been very hard to locate an actual Miami Heat fan in the weeks since LeBron has decided to come back to Cleveland. I live close to the nest here in Florida and until 3 weeks ago I couldn’t walk 10 feet without seeing a Heat jersey and don’t give me the bullshit excuse that the season is over and that’s why no one is wearing them. It’s the middle of the summer and perfect sleeveless weather. . And when you spend $130 on a shirt with no fucking sleeves, you can be DAMN sure it’s getting worn 5 times a week.  Even the fans that I’ve cornered into a conversation about the current state of the Heat can’t tell me anything other than they don’t care LeBron left and he owes them a big ol’ thank you for some reason that still has not been explained to me in any real coherent fashion. What the hell does LeBron owe them a thank you for?! HE was the one who brought THEM 2 more titles! Am I just getting roped in here? I mean it makes no sense even if they were purely doing it to troll Cleveland fans as Le Batard has even stated himself referring to his billboards he posted in Akron.

I thought Cavs fans could have come off better after the decision in 2010, obviously burning your own clothes in anger on national TV is not a good look, but this billboard is so much more of a bitch move I can’t even comprehend it. The jersey was on fire less than 3 minutes after LeBron said he was leaving; it was a gut reaction, in the Miami Heat of the moment. Le Batard has had weeks to formulate some kind of witty gesture to really stick it to LeBron or Cavs fans in general I guess. But the best he came up with was a passive aggressive blurb that sounds like a junior high school girl wrote it on Facebook.

I guess what I should really be saying here is the most obvious point in all of this. And this is what Le Batard and all 15 of the other Heat fans need to understand: You don’t matter anymore. You’re not important. No one cared what happened in Miami before LeBron and no one cares now because it was never about you. It was never about the Heat. It’s always been about LeBron. So you need to keep your mouths shut (as most of you have) and keep your billboards in your own city and be happy with what just happened to you for the last 4 years and understand that no one owes you a single shred of gratitude or even a half hearted thanks.

I guess Le Batard accomplished his goal of getting at least one Cleveland fan riled up but as far as I’m concerned his gesture was the dying breath of a shitty fan base and he knows he wont be talking about anything meaningful for the rest of his career so he need one last shot. ESPN suspended him for 2 days but he probably wishes they ordered him to be executed instead of having to go back and talk about Wade’s broken knees and Bosh’s crippling max deal that is already butt fucking the Heat back into the stone age.

So moments like this have brought out a new breed of Cavs fans. Fans who know we’re better than you. Prove me wrong. You can’t. Get used to it because it’s totally going to suck for you for a long time.

 

-Ken

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Shutdown Corner-Cleveland quarterbacks coach Dowell Loggains gave an Arkansas radio station the details. “We’re sitting there and they keep showing Johnny on TV, and Johnny and I are texting,” Loggains said. “And he shoots me a text and he says, ‘I wish you guys would come get me. Hurry up and draft me because I want to be there. I want to wreck this league together.’”

Now, we could translate “wreck this league” in any number of ways, but Loggains took it in the most positive way possible. “When I got that text, I forwarded it to the owner and to the head coach (Mike Pettine),” he said. “I’m like, ‘This guy wants to be here. He wants to be part of it.’ As soon as that happened, Mr. Haslam said, ‘Pull the trigger. We’re trading up to go get this guy.”’

Loggains offered up some other enticing tidbits: the Browns tried to work deals with Tennessee for the 11th pick and Dallas for the 16th pick. They also believed Kansas City was preparing to take Manziel at 23 if they hadn’t grabbed him.

 

 

Not gonna lie. I’m pretty erect right now.

I don’t care if he sent that as a mass text to EVERY team in the league. Browns read it first and replied with a resounding “Ok”

 

-Ken

 

 

A Possible Franchise Quarterback That OTHER Team’s Fan’s Actually Wanted?


A Free Agent Signing Whose Name I’ve Heard Of?

A Favorable Draft Grade Given By People Outside Of The Browns Front Office?

Where Are Teams Going To Pass Against This Secondary?

A Good Running Back NOT Past His Prime?

The national media is doing everything they can to tear the Browns apart for “mishandling” Manziel already. They need to destroy this kid and team before the season starts otherwise what was the point of building him up in the first place? I think for the first time in my life as a Browns fan I can say that I think the team has made enough moves in the offseason that will translate into wins during the season. They can’t fuck this up now. They’re signing talent, not just warm bodies. Coaching is important and all but somewhere down the line you need to have talent on your team and the Browns simply didn’t have much for too long. We get excited about a fucking kicker for Christ’s sake! Josh Cribbs was the most exciting player for years because he ran back a zillion kickoffs during his career. Now there’s actually a pool of talent to choose from when talking about team strengths. We’re either building a strong playoff contender or the 2011 Eagles. Thank god they cut Vince Young before he called us the “Dream Team Part Deux”

-Ken

@everywhereontwitter

He does not look too happy about wearing those colors. It’s all in the body language. That, or the fact that he is almost 7 feet tall and walking through a plane. Can’t tell for sure but I’m going to assume he hates wearing a Browns jersey just as much as every Browns fan hates to see him in it.

-Ken

” Great party! Is your friend Herb gonna be here?”

Play this video while reading the article for full effect:

The Sports Xchange- Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon faces a season-long suspension for a positive marijuana test, his second violation of the NFL policy, according to an ESPN “Outside the Lines” report Friday.
Gordon told the network he was unaware of the report and directed all questions to Drew Rosenhaus, who said the information was not true.

Gordon, 23, is the top playmaker on the roster. The Browns passed on two wide receivers in the top 10 of the 2014 NFL Draft on Thursday, dealing their initial pick to the Buffalo Bills, who drafted Clemson’s Sammy Watkins.
Gordon was suspended last season without pay for two games, but returned to catch 87 passes for 1,646 yards, including back-to-back 200-yard games in 14 regular-season games.

More….http://sports.yahoo.com/news/report-browns-wr-gordon-faces-221931385–nfl.html;_ylt=A0LEV1pwZW1TVloA8BFXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTB0Yjkwb3VoBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2JmMQR2dGlkA1ZJUDM3MF8x

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This is why I was so excited last night. It’s the reason I went to bed with a stupid shit eating grin tattooed across my face and woke up with the most solid morning wood of my entire life. I had what Browns fans NEVER have. A perfect nights sleep. Woke up in the same position as I fell asleep in, but no limbs were numb and stinging me. Didn’t have to piss in the middle of the night. The temperature under the covers were comfortably nestled somewhere between a mothers womb and the guts of a sliced open tauntaun. Heaven. I even started off my day right. Watched ESPN and listened to The Really Big Show all morning basking in the glory and enjoying those shit heads in Connecticut being forced to admit that the Browns had a good first round. Even their digs and jabs didn’t phase me today. Watched the Johnny Football Press conference. Laughed and giggled. Held back tears. But knowing deep down in the pit of my stomach that the floor was about to drop out from beneath me. Didn’t know what exactly. Just knew there was a shit storm brewing and if I wanted to get out of the way I should’ve started running last week. Cleveland CAN”T fly this high. Not enough air up there for the entire city to suck down all at once. Plus we all took off so fast we forgot to pack parachutes. When we come down, we come down HARD. Then about 6:15 my phone exploded with texts while I was reading Goodnight Moon to my son and even without looking at the screen I knew it had happened. Each vibration in my pocket felt like another knife jab into my heart. Reality had caught wind of our escape and had quickly closed in on us like a pack of wild dogs. We all scrambled for cover, clinging on to whatever hope we had. “Rosenhouse said it’s not true!” “Browns would have drafted a WR if they knew!” “Gordon said he would change!!!”

So here we are with as far as I’m concerned a TE being our number one and plenty of good WRs left in the draft and we get a lineman. I understand we need to protect Johnny and should probably only draft linemen for the next 5 rounds but we suddenly have a glaring need on the outside. There will come a time when Manziel does need to throw the football and it’d be nice if his targets had better hands than an oak tree.

On the bright side, we will have the greatest offensive line ever assembled in the history of the world. Farmer did say the league is changing. Let’s hope that means every play is a QB sneak behind 10 guards.

-Ken

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Not going to lie, I didn’t watch one second of this clip. I don’t have any time to watch because I’m simultaneously listening to Howard and Louis CK, doing mock drafts, and checking out naked chicks at the same time. All I know or care about Teddy Bridewater is that he drops out of the first round, ends up going to the Raiders in the early 2nd round, and becomes our QB of the future. Once he gets passed all the teams that desperately need a QB (1-7 basically) then he can drop all the way down to number 37 and take that pink Caddy straight to the Bay Area. He may suffer from Brady Quinn syndrome and look like a #1 but perform like a 7th rounder but I don’t think so (hope so).
PS I watched his Gruden QB Camp and he may be the most polite person outside of Tim Tebow on the planet.
PSS He looks a little gay, right? Right?
As a Gator fan I still love this picture
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-Jesse

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Skip Bayless. That’s it. I’ve literally tried 4 times to start this blog and I don’t know what to say about him. He’s an annoying asshole on TV but that’s his character and that’s why he has a shit ton of money. It works. He and Stephen A. Smith (played better by Jay Pharoah on SNL) are basically just two old guys (white and black) who disagree on literally everything. Football, basketball, the color of the fucking sky. The one thing they agree on is when they get weird about religion on air and make the athlete/rapper they have on stage really uncomfortable. All that aside, if Skip Bayless likes someone to the point of no return and I am a GM, I will not draft them. He would’ve murdered someone to get the point across that he thinks Tebow can win a Super Bowl. And that’s last week. He STILL thinks Timmy has the best QB skills of all time. Look how that turned out. Tim beat the Steelers and then got sodomized by Tom Brady and the Patriots in the second round of the playoffs and he hasn’t played since. Now Skip thinks the same thing about Johnny Football. Ruh-roh. Drake doesn’t have enough swag to pull him out of that nonsense. Bayless is the Cooler of the NFL draft which means that anything hot and exciting that gets touched by his seal of approval is destined to fail. Sorry Johnny, you had a good run.

PS Fuck Skip Bayless having a 90 year old women’s face and a jacked body. Go eat a donut and maybe you will see why Tebow can’t be a real NFL QB
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-Jesse