Archive for the ‘Twitter’ Category

untitled
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I could write a huge essay about why this movie was shit but it would be just as much of a waste of time as it was to see this hunk of crap. I’m sure it was fun to make and to be on set but it didn’t translate to the screen. And I’m not comparing it to Schindler’s List and The Godfather. Just take this and compare it to the other R rated comedies of the past few years (most featuring Seth Rogen in some way) and it just doesn’t hold up. It seemed too forced, too unnatural, and just off. And a bunch of times it was noticeable they cut parts of the movie out so they could fit everything in to a certain time frame. Half of the funniest parts in the trailer aren’t even in the movie itself. Save your time and just go see Spiderman 2 again.

PS I still would give an arm and a leg to party with Zac Efron during his drinking/coke days. That would be a fucking hell of a time.
PSS And if Efron isn’t in Magic Mike 2, Channing Tatum is as dumb as he looks because that kid was made for that kind of movie, not this.

-Jesse

Two things..Terry Crews has to be on juice, right? In all reality I do not think he is but there can be no other explanation for being that in shape at his age. You know outside of hard work, a great diet and insane genetics. Fucking asshole. Secondly, look at Jimmy Fallon with the ripped bod, late night has been good for him.

-Jesse

Shutdown Corner-Cleveland quarterbacks coach Dowell Loggains gave an Arkansas radio station the details. “We’re sitting there and they keep showing Johnny on TV, and Johnny and I are texting,” Loggains said. “And he shoots me a text and he says, ‘I wish you guys would come get me. Hurry up and draft me because I want to be there. I want to wreck this league together.’”

Now, we could translate “wreck this league” in any number of ways, but Loggains took it in the most positive way possible. “When I got that text, I forwarded it to the owner and to the head coach (Mike Pettine),” he said. “I’m like, ‘This guy wants to be here. He wants to be part of it.’ As soon as that happened, Mr. Haslam said, ‘Pull the trigger. We’re trading up to go get this guy.”’

Loggains offered up some other enticing tidbits: the Browns tried to work deals with Tennessee for the 11th pick and Dallas for the 16th pick. They also believed Kansas City was preparing to take Manziel at 23 if they hadn’t grabbed him.

 

 

Not gonna lie. I’m pretty erect right now.

I don’t care if he sent that as a mass text to EVERY team in the league. Browns read it first and replied with a resounding “Ok”

 

-Ken

 

 

A Possible Franchise Quarterback That OTHER Team’s Fan’s Actually Wanted?


A Free Agent Signing Whose Name I’ve Heard Of?

A Favorable Draft Grade Given By People Outside Of The Browns Front Office?

Where Are Teams Going To Pass Against This Secondary?

A Good Running Back NOT Past His Prime?

The national media is doing everything they can to tear the Browns apart for “mishandling” Manziel already. They need to destroy this kid and team before the season starts otherwise what was the point of building him up in the first place? I think for the first time in my life as a Browns fan I can say that I think the team has made enough moves in the offseason that will translate into wins during the season. They can’t fuck this up now. They’re signing talent, not just warm bodies. Coaching is important and all but somewhere down the line you need to have talent on your team and the Browns simply didn’t have much for too long. We get excited about a fucking kicker for Christ’s sake! Josh Cribbs was the most exciting player for years because he ran back a zillion kickoffs during his career. Now there’s actually a pool of talent to choose from when talking about team strengths. We’re either building a strong playoff contender or the 2011 Eagles. Thank god they cut Vince Young before he called us the “Dream Team Part Deux”

-Ken

imagesNO28E1UM
Vulture- Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow and producer Megan Ellison are teaming up again. According to The Wrap, Kathryn Bigelow will direct an adaptation of Anand Giridharadas’s nonfiction book The True American: Murder and Mercy in Texas, with Tom Hardy attached as the lead and Ellison’s Annapurna Pictures set to produce. The book tells the story of Mark Stroman, a self-proclaimed “American terrorist” (presumably Hardy) who shoots and nearly kills a Bangladeshi immigrant in a Dallas minimart, and the intertwining lives of the two men in the following decades. With Bigelow helming another morally fraught post-9/11 terrorist saga, Hardy playing another macho bad guy, and Ellison producing another film with “American” in the title, it sounds like everyone is sticking to what they do best. Are you paying attention, Academy voters of the future?

Everyone knows, and I have well documented, my love for Tom Hardy. Talent wise I think he is one of the best actors out there and visually, forget about it, gayballs for Tommy. But all of these movies being linked to him is starting to worry me because take a look at every other great actor in the world. Daniel Day Lewis, Denzel, Christian Bale, Leo..these guys are only attatched to or actually act in like one or two movies a year (even less for Day Lewis) and the world loves them. Give us a taste of your talent and we want it in buckets. But guys like DeNiro, Pacino, and now even Johnny Depp, they are just in too many fucking movies. Now I’m afraid the same thing is happening for Tom. This year he will have at least 2, maybe 3 movies come out. Then next year he has Mad Max so the marketing will be nauseatingly overdone and he is linked to an Elton John bio, a Kray twins gangster bio, Al Capone trilogy, Splinter Cell adaptation, and now a movie about an American terrorist. Of course they won’t all get made near each other, or ever, but that’s a lot of “linked” news reports about movies and TV shows. Daddy doesn’t like that Tommy, slow it down and just give us a taste. We don’t need the whole Hardy at once.

-Jesse “Supergay”

Marky Mark was the right choice for the lead in one of these movies. Has few acting skills, one facial expression, and is a tough guy. He is much more believable to fight robots that turn into cars than Shia LeBouf. Also pretty sure I came in my pants watching one robot ride another dragon robot through a city that is about to be destroyed. How many times can Michael Bay blow up a city by the way? Like these transformers have caused BILLIONS of dollars in damages and the time it would take to rebuild an entire metropolis is roughly 20 years? So is this movie 100 years after the first one? Now I’m confused, fuck.

-Jesse

There's a lot of room left for a big NOT GUILTY tatt

There’s a lot of room left for a big NOT GUILTY tatt


ESPN- Former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez has been indicted in a double homicide in Boston in 2012, according to multiple reports.
Hernandez remains jailed in Massachusetts, charged in a separate case with first-degree murder in the June 2013 shooting death of semi-professional football player Odin Lloyd, a Boston resident who was dating the sister of Hernandez’s fiancee, Shayanna Jenkins. He has pleaded not guilty and is being held without bail. It had been widely reported that Lloyd might have had knowledge about the Boston slayings.

So what you’re telling me is that one of the best football players in the NFL was basically a serial killer. Like he didn’t have a plan to murder people but if it had to be done he just went and shot them to death. I am so fascinated by this story that it still doesn’t seem real but I also have this suspicion that he will get off not guilty. Like he may get gun charges or something like that but they haven’t found the murder weapon and if he buddies stay true to the hood they won’t testify. We may have a new OJ case but times a hundred thousand.

-Jesse