Posts Tagged ‘basketball’

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Gotta start this off with all the information. I do not watch college basketball unless the Gators make the tournament and also make it to the Sweet Sixteen. So I have no clue what a “good game” should look like. But this game fucking sucks. UNC is awful shooting the ball. I’ve watched them miss 1 billion 3s. Gonzaga looks slightly better but also like they don’t really know what’s going on. Lot of fouls. Just a very ugly game. Maybe it’ll get better but I doubt it.

download “Baaaahhhh fucking kill me baahhhhh”

Also what the hell does a fucking ram have to do with a Tar Heel? Why can’t colleges get their shit together. Gators. Fighting Irish. Bulldogs. Cocks. Easy, simple names. The Tar Heels? Although a great hat when I was a kid, why do they also have a ram? Why not just be the rams from North Carolina? Or the tabacco field workers? Those sons of bitches are probably as tough as 10 rams…Also what I hate are the Stanford fucking trees, Auburn Tigers/War Eagles and Alabama Roll Tide aka Elephants. Can’t we just cut Alabama loose and call it a day?

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download (2).jpg Ok she can stay.

This is my angry post because I’m sick and I hate everyone. Unless I win my bracket with a UNC win, then I only hate a few people.

 

Jesse

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So this morning on my slow crawl to work down the NJ Turnpike, I’m listening to Boomer and Carton like I always do. A caller brings up the “epidemic” of NBA stars resting during nationally televised games and robbing the fans of seeing LeBron flop like a fish and Steph Curry chew on a mouth guard, or shoot a 100 threes or some shit. Carton has the best take I’ve ever heard (title recall kids, that’s what brings in the big bucks), he said if the public i.e. fans, the media, everyone, didn’t make such a huge fucking deal about ‘how many rings do you have’ then this wouldn’t even be a thing. Is LeBron the best ever? By all accounts he could be when he is done playing. Does he have 6 rings? Maybe not, so clearly he isn’t the best. Shit Kobe was essentially a corpse being drug up and down the court for a few games a year just so he could try and get that 6th title…I say 6 because no one counts Russell’s 11 since he was playing against a bunch of accountants every night. Good for him, but it doesn’t count.

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So if we didn’t measure every single fucking thing an individual player does based on titles no one would care as much. They would want to be out there chasing the most points scored, or most assists, or most rebounds. Basketball gets the biggest beef because when one star sits it’s a much bigger difference in the game, but every sport is like that. Brady has 5 rings, now he is better than Montana. He probably was anyway. A-Rod only got one so he can’t be better than a lot of other guys, or Griffey didn’t get any so he didn’t achieve what he was supposed to. Shit in your hat and eat it.

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But that’s not the world we live in and it won’t be changing anytime soon. So get used to the star players taking random rests and get used to fans hating the NBA more and more than they already do.

 

Jesse

The Cavs

Posted: June 21, 2016 in Sports
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So I’m not going to let myself be dilusional enough to think that anyone is going to read this except for myself 10 years from now. But this whole blog is basically a coping mechanism I use to deal with a lot of disappointment I feel as a Cleveland sports fan. I watch a goddamn awful lot of sports and think about them even more so I need a device that saves a few random snapshots of my thoughts every once in a while that I can reflect on some time down the road. Maybe my kids will read some of this crap one day and understand why their dad is the way he is. 

I don’t think I will forget any of this for my whole life but just in case my memory slips a little here is what I loved the most about this whole experience:

The game flew by. I remember complaining every timeout that I hated the stupid commercials (D Wade drinking frozen Gatorade in the fortress of solitude) but it was over in an instant. Not unlike my wedding day. Just a complete whirlwind of emotion. 

Kyrie is a cold blooded killer. I was talking with some friends a few months ago and said that the Cavs could beat the Warriors if he out shot Steph. Watching him the last few years I knew he could do it. I honestly think Klay is a better shooter than Steph but I think Kyrie is a better clutch shooter than both of them. And that’s not taking anything away from either of them, I constantly live in fear of seeing the ball leave their hands toward the hoop. But there are times when Kyrie is so hot that I have no doubt in my mind that the ball is going in. ​


I had total confidence in LeBron going into the game. I knew we had the best player in the world on our team and in a one game playoff and that’s the most you can ask for. He didn’t disappoint with a triple double and the most important chase down block I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s been doing those his whole career and it’s always just been a bonus to everything else he does, but now you see how truly important it is to never give up on a play. 


Plus I appreciated his throwback over acted broken arm injury at the most important moment in the history of the franchise. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched him rolling around under the basket being absolutely convinced he was dying only to see him pop up and knock down his free throws. 

Love pulled through with a solid game and JR may have saved the season in the 3rd quarter with 8 straight points to erase an 8 point deficit. If the Warriors push it up to 10 or 12, the game is probably  over. 

I’ll always be thankful to have seen a championship in Cleveland. I’ve never felt like a loser for cheering for them just constantly disappointed. But the weight of maybe never experiencing the pure joy of winning one has been lifted and now all I can think about is how much I want to feel this for the Indians and Browns. 

Ken (fan of the World Champion Cleveland Cavaliers)


  

For me personally, Kevin Hart is one of the top 3 stand ups out right now. His last 3 specials have literally killed and raked in the cash just like his movies that all open at #1 in the box office. But he is falling into that ‘too much exposure’ trap that a lot of people get sucked into. I completely understand getting your money while you can but you also don’t want people to get sick of you. He is fucking hilarious on stage and his movies are ok, his 2 minutes in 40 Year Old Virgin were probably his best, but all these little bits and appearances he does aren’t really good. He pops in and out of MTV Award shows like he owes them gambling money and he is forced to be there and now this commercial, it’s too much.

-Jesse

Ooooops. Don’t know how this game is going to end but if you blow a 20 point lead and then get the ball stolen for an easy layup to tie it with 4 seconds left then you deserve to lose every time. Just not sure the Thunder have enough sense to stop shooting themselves out of this game.

-ken

Update: Grizzlies win by a split second. Not like Prince was fouling or anything though….

All ball man! All ball.

Ray Allen has this shot off with 3 seconds to spare

Just blatantly not giving a fuck about anything. He even took a bunch of little steps to hammer down that point. DWade and LeBron, Jeremy Lin just put you fucks on notice.

Also whoever put this video together, you are a comedic genius
-Jesse

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I submit exhibit ‘A’ to the court: This photo was taken March 10th, 2014 after an NBA game in which LeBron played.

And now Exhibit ‘B’: This photo was taken April 23rd following another NBA game. Looks like someone got a fresh coat of paint.

Actually I can’t tell if it’s a case of canned hair or a moving hairline. Could be shaping it higher to counteract the recession but it seems like it’d have to be a little higher.
Look, LeBron and I don’t have a lot in common other than our horrible fashion sense (I’m currently wearing a 2007 Cavs Eastern Conference Champions T-Shirt for about the 4th day in a row, 1 day of which I mowed the lawn and gym shorts from high school. And when I go to the store later I’m not even going to consider changing) and our horrible hairlines. He choose another team over mine. It hurt. He then has won multiple championships. That hurts too. I’m really trying to find a way to identify with him and like him. I feel like being honest about his impending baldness would make him a lot more likable. For EVERYONE. Just shave it bald and be proud! Then put on a Yankees hat. Hats have been the only acceptable way to hide baldness since our monkey ancestors ripped out all their hair digging for ticks and then dunked their head in a pile of elephant shit to cover it up. I wear a hat, and when I put it on I immediately become 10 years younger and look slightly less menacing and perverted. Even somewhat approachable. If I could wear a hat to job interviews I’d be the most employed person you’ve ever met.

-Ken