Posts Tagged ‘bradenton florida’

Bradenton Herald

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So this extremely sexy, youthful lady of the night pulled a fast one on an adoption agency and unfortunate couple. My guess is she was ski poling a couple dudes at a Red Roof Inn and Baby Mama happened to be on the TV and a very, very dim light bulb went off in her super methy head. She probably called up Lester Diamond and concocted the theory that no one had seen that movie in awhile so no one could possibly think she wasn’t really pregnant and wanting to give the gift of a child to a happy couple. And god dammit she was right. Now I lived in Bradenton awhile so this all makes sense, they are beyond ass backwards in every way throughout that town. Of course the story takes the turn it should have, this bitch is in jail and definitely not pregnant but it just sucks for the people wanting the baby. But I’m sure they are thanking┬átheir lucky stars a beautiful little kid didn’t fall out of that whore’s meat wallet. Woof.

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Side note, Baby Mama is a pretty solid movie. I’m a big time Tina and Amy fan.

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Jesse

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That really does sound like a porno, and one that I would have bookmarked and favorited. Sometimes you just need a little back door action. Sadly this has nothing to do with porn, it’s just simply a Cornhole league that Ken and I have joined here in Bradenton. There is a local bar, Motorworks Brewery, that has a beer garden, craft beers, and now they are hosting this league. I’m really good, Ken admits he is off and on (kinda like his hair…ZING!) so it should be interesting. What is pretty exciting though is we will now be uploading our own videos onto the site instead of just youtube clips and shit. Also I have no clue what we could win for this thing, could be a free beer could be a million dollars, all I know is I go hard in the paint so these motherfuckers better watch out!

-Jesse