Posts Tagged ‘cocaine’

WANTED: Ryan “Bugsy” Malone

CBS Sports-Tampa Bay Lightning left winger Ryan Malone was arrested early Saturday morning under suspicion of cocaine possesion and driving under the influence at 3:23 a.m. in Tampa, Fla. at Platt and Rome Streets.

Malone’s BAC was .112 and .116 according to his booking information, which is over the legal limit in Florida of .08.

Malone was booked at 5:40 a.m. and is being held on $2,500 bond.

“We are aware of the situation concerning Ryan Malone this morning,” Lightning general manager Steve Yzerman said in a statement. “Ryan will not travel with the team to Washington today, but beyond that we cannot comment further at this time.”

Malone is still in custody at the Hillsborough County Jail as of 8:19 a.m. according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department website.

According to WFLA-TV, a Tampa police officer saw Malone hit a curb while driving and pulled the Lightning forward over. The officer then found cocaine in his pants pocket.

Malone was a scratch in the Lightning’s 3-2 win vs. Columbus on Friday night at home and hasn’t played since April 5. He has five goals and has 10 assists in 57 games with the Lightning this season.

Malone has played 10 seasons in the NHL, including four years with his hometown Pittsburgh Penguins and the last six with the Lightning. He was part of the U.S. Olympic Men’s Hockey Team at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.


I can’t remember the last time Malone didn’t do something that made me want to cross check myself into a light pole and this is just another reason to dump him. He has a year left on his contract and it feels like he’s been riding it out for the last two.

And how much of a fuck does he not give to just have a bag of cocaine in his pocket while driving drunk around Tampa at 3:30 in the morning? Gotta stash that shit…..I don’t know…..SOMEWHERE? Anywhere? Other than having it buckled up in his kids car seat I can’t think of a worse place to “hide” it.


And no I would not recommend that he “jock” it because hockey players are disgustingly dirty and I guarantee his nuts look like a moldy loaf of bread.


CNN- Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman had an assault rifle handy when authorities raided his beachside hideaway over the weekend, but the world’s most wanted drug lord never opened fire. That’s because marines used infrared and body-heat scanners to pinpoint the locations of everyone inside the condo and make sure they were asleep, a Mexican official told CNN. Saturday’s pre-dawn operation that captured Guzman in the Mexican Pacific resort town of Mazatlan marked a dramatic twist in a case that has long captivated the country and frustrated investigators on both sides of the U.S.-Mexico border. The notorious Sinaloa cartel leader’s nickname, which means “Shorty,” belies the tall and near-mythic status Guzman achieved in recent years for his ability to elude capture by using bribes, safe houses and an army of cartel helpers.

If you have never heard of El Chapo you are most likely a normal person who doesn’t give a shit about drug lords but I do suggest you look this guy up. Everyone has heard of Pablo Escobar and El Chapo has a bigger reach than even Pablo did. His story just hasn’t really made it to the US because all anyone hears about from Mexico is how they chop heads off and toss them into traffic. Guzman has such a stronghold over the Mexican drug world that he is Public Enemy #1 in Chicago and he has never been there. The last person to have that title was Al Capone and he ran that city. His cartel, Sinaloa, imports more drugs into the US than any other person/organization in the world. This fucker is the real deal and now he is finally behind bars (again). I doubt he will escape this time because of all the press he’s getting, especially since the US wants him to be charged here, but this little guy is really good at hide and seek. There are all these legends about him traveling around Mexico and just paying off anyone he saw to not rat him out, about him going to restaurants and taking all the cell phones but buying everyone’s tab, just that Robin Hood type shit. Even knowing all the bad shit he’s done if he walked into PF Changs and wanted my cell phone but would pay my tab, I’m drinking top shelf tequila and keeping my god damn mouth shut.

In the past couple years THREE of the top 10 world’s most wanted have been caught/killed (Osama, Whitey Bulger, El Chapo) yet we still haven’t settled that whole KONY 2012 thing. That guy really fucked up.

Yahoo Sports- UFC light heavyweight Thiago Silva is in police custody in Broward County, Fla., after an incident at his home, according to multiple media reports. However, no trace of Silva’s arrest could be discovered independently. His name did not turn up in an arrest records search on the Broward County Sheriff’s website and a dispatcher told Yahoo Sports, “We don’t have that person in our system. Sorry.” That, however, does not mean Silva has not been arrested and may simply indicate that he has not been processed yet. A source told Yahoo Sports that Silva had been taken for a psychiatric evaluation, though that was unable to be confirmed. The UFC released a statement acknowledging it was aware of an incident involving Silva in Florida, though the statement did not say whether Silva had been arrested. According to NBC News 6, the suspect went to a jiu-jitsu school at 777 E. Oakland Park Blvd. and threatened people. No one was harmed and the suspect left, police told NBC News 6. According to the television station’s report, authorities then set up a perimeter around the suspect’s home. The NBC News 6 story reported that Broward Sheriff’s officials told it at 11:15 p.m. ET that a suspect had been taken into custody.

He's not that violent, just huggin a bro

He’s not that violent, just huggin a bro

And he knocks people the fuck out

And he knocks people the fuck out

Allow me to break this story down for everyone. I can pretty much guess what happened without even being there. Silva is probably juiced out of his gord, peaked out because he fights March 15th. So he’s at a gym fucking around with his buddies and someone calls him out. Naturally because he ruins people’s faces for a living, he threatened the guy, it’s what happens. Some stupid chick that was there says she’s going to call the cops because bitches are bitches. Silva knows he has stuff at the house that the cops can’t see so he takes off for home. Once there he starts finding all the juice, probably coke, maybe some weird sex stuff. No one wants the cops to find that because he will be all over the news. So he is flushing his bottles and needles, maybe some baggies, and you know how toilets are, you can’t just flush and flush you need to wait a little bit. Cops show up, he tells them to fuck off because he is still flushing and they think he is resisting. Classic story. Then he’s so freaked out they take him to the mental wing which is always a good defense and boom he will be out of jail with a fine and a slap on the wrist from Dana White. Easy peasy, Japanesey


Good ol’ #56 turns 55. The greatest linebacker, most likely the greatest defensive player, and quite possibly the greatest football player ever is celebrating a birthday most people probably didn’t think he would get to. LT is a thing of legend for what he did on and off the field. Literally ruined OCs lives with his reckless abandon style of play and ruined his life with his drug and hooker addictions in real life. But you know what, fuck it, he’s still alive and his stories will live on forever. Here are some of the better ones in no real order…
-Recently paid $300 to bang a 16 yr old hooker that he thought was 19. Can’t blame the guy, she lied
-Has done enough cocaine to kill the population of South Dakota (pending fact)
-He was known to hire up to 6 tricks a day
-Doesn’t remember getting drafted because he drank 41 beers that day. That’s a lot of fucking Coors Light
-The Giants took a $2 million insurance policy against him his rookie year so if he died, they would bank
-He used strawberry milkshakes full of penicillin to combat those sneaky STDs. Jimmy Cap or milkshake, gimme the shake
-Showed up to a team meeting with sex handcuffs still on. ALWAYS know where the key is LT, come on man
Made Joe Theismann’s leg look like it was made of silly putty and gross out people everywhere live on MNF
And my favorite story is how he hired whores and sent them to the opposing team to tire them out the night before a game. Greatest move ever because NO ONE turns down a hot hooker.

Add in stints in ‘Any Given Sunday’ and the WWF to round it all out and you have a Hall of Famer in the ‘How the Fuck Am I Alive’ League. Congrats buddy and Happy Birthday

Lotta white hate right there

Lotta white hate right there


Joe Theismann tape..You’ve been warned


I was probably conceived to one of their albums

I was probably conceived to one of their albums

TBO- Looks like the party’s over — almost. Motley Crue, the hard-rocking, hard-living glam metal outfit that sold nearly 80 million albums en route to becoming the poster boys for rock excess and debauchery, are retiring. The band plans to say goodbye with a 72-date farewell tour, including one last stop in Tampa at the MidFlorida Amphitheatre on Aug. 17. “We want to go out with the four founding members of Motley Crue and go out on top,” said lead singer Vince Neil at a news conference in Hollywood, Calif., announcing the tour. “We want to leave a legacy,” added guitarist Nikki Sixx. “We want to have some dignity.” The band members have signed a legal agreement promising not to perform as Motley Crue after 2015. Tickets for the “All Bad Things Must Come to an End Tour” go on sale Friday through Reserved seats will cost $119, $79, $49 or $39. Lawn tickets will be on sale for $20 through Sunday before going up to $25. Alice Cooper will tour with the group. A Motley Crue tribute album is in the works, as is a big-screen version of the band’s 2002 book, “The Dirt.”

Strip clubs EVERYWHERE owe these guys for this

Strip clubs EVERYWHERE owe these guys for this

Well it had to happen sometime and I’m glad it’s happening like this. I would much rather a band do one last hurrah, and make it legal that they can’t keep coming back ala Brett Favre, and just rock everyone’s fucking faces off. Also really like the fact that tickets are not that expensive. 120 bucks for the highest priced ticket is sweet and if I can get shithoused and roll around in the lawn for $20 I’m all in. Crue has to be one of the bands with the coolest reputations in rock history, both as a group and as individuals. If you haven’t read the book ‘The Dirt’ you really need to before they ever put it movie out because it is really bad ass. But it always makes me question how Nikki can say they need ‘some dignity’…umm you do know who you are right buddy? You’re Nikki Sixx and Motley Crue. You guys would sit in circles and have your actual GFs blow everyone in the house. Ozzy Osbourne challenged Nikki to a cocaine snorting contest which ended with licking piss off the street. God damn Aerosmith told you guys you had a drinking/drug problem. Dignity is long gone my friend, but that’s what makes you guys Crue. I will for sure be at this show and as sad as I am that they are finally ending thing, doing it with a ‘death clause’ is the best way to do it.


Cocaine brother!

Cocaine brother! Facing a House ethics investigation, the Florida congressman who pleaded guilty to cocaine-possession charges last year will resign, his top aide said Monday, after several GOP leaders requested that he step down. U.S. Rep. Trey Radel will send a letter to House Speaker John Boehner, chief of staff Dave Natonski said. Politico first reported the upcoming resignation. On Nov. 20, the freshman Republican pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of cocaine possession and was sentenced to a year of probation. He admitted to purchasing 3.5 grams of cocaine from an undercover officer on Oct. 29. Radel attempted to buy $250 worth of cocaine from an undercover police officer in a Washington, D.C., neighborhood.

How fucking cool is this? Congressman from the Fort Myers area gets busted trying to buy an 8 ball from an undercover cop in DC. First of all, an 8 ball is a great amount of coke for one guy. I’m sure it was for whatever hooker he was ordering up later, but an 8 ball is a serious party. Secondly, you have to know that you don’t buy drugs in DC. So many politicians have been busted in that town. You have someone go get it for you if you need it in DC or you take a trip outside of the city and head up to Jersey or something. Everyone has a buddy you can trust to buy you good coke. Or tell the hooker to bring it. And thirdly, who in the world is surprised a dude named Trey is blowing lines of yayo? Every Trey I’ve ever met loves the White Lady, from Frat houses to the steps of the Capitol Building. Fucking love Florida man.

PS According to Yahoo the street value is 150-250 for an 8 ball so I guess he either got a shit deal or great blow.
Yahoo said that, not me


Keep the Crazy Train Rollin’ Biebs!

GMA-Justin Bieber was arrested early Thursday morning after leaving a Miami Beach club, accused of drag racing through a residential neighborhood and DUI. Police allege the pop singer admitted to having beer, marijuana and prescription drugs in his system.

His blood alcohol level was .04. That level was illegal, because he is under-age. The standard for someone driving under the age of 21 is .02.

The singer spent the rest of the night in jail then appeared in a Miami courtroom early this afternoon where a judge set bail at $2,500. Bieber stood silently in the courtroom dressed in a jail jumpsuit as his attorney spoke. ABC News confirmed that “because of Justin Bieber’s high profile status,” he received special treatment and had his hearing moved up when it should have been Friday.

He posted bail and exited the courthouse a short time later, jumped up on a car and blew a kiss to a throng of fans as he left. A couple hours later, he was spotted by news helicopters riding around Downtown Miami in a black Escalade that eventually pulled into the lush Viceroy Hotel in Brickell.
Miami Beach police said Bieber was pulled over for speeding in a yellow Lamborghini and failed a field sobriety test. This is a first-degree misdemeanor, which could get him up to six months in jail and have his license suspended for six months.

Well it’s official. I’m off the Aaron Carter bandwagon and now a full blown Belieber. My only concern is that his recent run ins with the law are all a publicity stunt in the same vein as Miley going to bed as Hannah Montana one night and waking up a twerking, naked, boy bodied, whore the next day. In Biebers case I need him to actually be to the point where he feels invincible so he can properly flame out like the country is dying to watch him do. Skip the pills and coke my man and go straight for the Krokodil. The nation needs this! You can’t deny the people! We have rights!


BTW- Who the fuck rents a Lamborghini to a 19 year old?