Posts Tagged ‘fashion’

“Sean, Why is that man shaving his body like a woman?!”

“I don’t know, Tom. How can he expect to seduce a woman with the chest and back of a 12 year old boy?”

“What a bunch of fucking idiots.”

Sorry Gillette. I know you’re in the business of selling razors and finding new untapped markets is all part of the deal, but you’re barking up the wrong tree on this one. Stop trying to convince men that we need to be hairless freaks and that somehow women are attracted to itchy, razor burned skin. I’m pretty sure that the tuft of hair sticking out of every one of my collars simultaneously lets women know my sperm produces nothing but flawless human specimens and makes men run and hide like an abused puppy. The toilet trembles in fear of my hairy ass. My treasure trail starts with my nose hair and doesn’t let up the whole way down. Completely relentless on the eyes and senses.

-Ken (disgusting hairball of a human)