Posts Tagged ‘happy birthday’

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To the man who has saved Raider Nation.

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To the man who is equal parts Tebow in his humility and love of God, and Aaron Rodgers in his gun-slinging, brass balls, rocket fueled arm.

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To the man who has a bro-mance with Khalil Mack that an out of shape, awkward white guy can only dream of.

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To the man who made sales of guy liner go through the fucking roof (still researching the stats on that one). Happy Birthday. Heal up my friend, we have a big year ahead of us!


PS If my next child is a boy his middle name will be Derek. Half because of Jeter, half because of Carr.



A couple days ago we celebrated the birthday of Jack Nicolson. Now we get to honor the Don. Cappo di tutti cappi. Scarface. Big Boy Caprice. Ricky Roma. Carlito. Lefty Ruggiero. Serpico. Colonel Slade. The guy from Dog Day Afternoon. I mean the only person with a better resume is Al’s buddy Bobby. Sure they both have fallen off in the late 90’s and have only put out a few good roles since. But if you watch any of the movies I will list below, you will be seeing some of the best acting that has ever been or ever will be. Happy Birthday Al. Whoo ahh!

Al Pacino
The Godfather
The Godfather II
Dog Day Afternoon
(seriously, those are 4 movies in order, holy shit)
…And Justice for All
Sea of Love
Dick Tracy
The Godfather III (oh fuck off it has to be on the list)
Glengarry Glen Ross
Scent of a Woman

Carlito’s Way
Donnie Brasco
The Insider
Any Given Sunday
Angels in America (TV)
You Don’t Know Jack (TV)
Phil Spector (TV)

I was going to do the list like a normal sentence but this way you get a full look at how fucking amazing it is. Holy shit.


Few people can go by just one name and even fewer can do it without forcing it. Beyoncé, Madonna, Moby. All people who refuse to use both names. Someone like Jack Nicholson didn’t have to do shit other than be the coolest motherfucker ever and people know him by just his first name. The man needs literally no introduction so I’m done. Happy Birthday Mr. Nicholson.



Normally I do a little post about two people, some pictures, then honorable mentions. NOT TODAY. On July 4th the year before, all of these people’s parents were raw dogging their way into creating the best and brightest in Hollywood history. Funny, dramatic, handsome, beautiful, the whole gambit. So thank you America for being so god damn amazing people had to celebrate by having unprotected sex, most likely doggy style.
Marlon Brando
Adam Scott
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Eddie Murphy
Italians after Rocky came out-
Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor-
Drunk Dad at a BBQ-
Alec Baldwin
Glengarry Speech-
Some 30 Rock moments-
The Departed-
Aries Spears
aries spears
ESPN Impressions-
Amanda Bynes
David Hyde Pearce
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Tony Orlando
tony orlando
Wayne Newton
Lyle Alzado
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Jared Allen
jared allen
Paris Jackson (I wonder who her real dad is because Michael Jackson you are NOT the father)
paris jackson
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The woman once called the “Hottest Girl In Porn” and one ninth of the Wu-Tang Clan both celebrate their birthdays on April Fool’s Day. It makes sense when you think of it. Jenna was a porn star with 299 films ‘under her belt’ (get it? her vagina) and now she has left porn to start the XXXchurch for other fellow porn people. Almost seems like an April Fool’s prank. And Method Man is funny as shit so I’m sure he has pulled his fair share of stunts like “Hey, Redman and I are going to make a TV show! Just kidding it’s cancelled after the first 15 minutes!”. Either way here are some of the more memorable moments from the April Fool’s Day babies, Jenna and Meth!
Method Man

Jenna Presley





One of the greatest actors in either comedy or drama. He rarely if ever turns down a role because he says you learn something new each time and I am eternally grateful for that mindset. Because of that we have Deer Hunter and we have Wedding Crashers. We have The King of New York and we have Batman 2. Has he made some shitty movies? Sure he has. But the constant exposure and different roles has introduced his incredible talent to literally generations of viewers and I hope he never stops. So Hap-py Birth-a-day Mr Walken, I hope you aren’t annoyed at every single person ever trying to imitate your voice!

Also Jessica Szohr



Notable Mentions: Ewan McGregor, Tanya Tate, Tony Cox, and Al “I Invented the Internet” Gore





March 26..Today was certainly a good one for celebrity birthdays. On one hand you have a super hot actress that I plan on marrying at some point in my life. On the other you have two guys from the most iconic gangster stories of all time. Kiera Knightley, Michael Imperioli and James Caan all share this day as the glorious moment they left their mother’s vaginas and entered the world. Kiera has always been a huge crush for me. Some say she is too skinny but watch Domino and tell me it doesn’t work for her. The voice, the attitude, the pirate stuff. Add that to the gangsters Sonnie Corleone and Christopher Moltisante and it’s a regular birthday orgasm celebration!
Kiera Knightley


Michael Imperioli


James Caan



Honorable Mentions
Leslie Mann, Leonard Nimoy, Martin Short, Alan Arkin, Steven Tyler, Sara Jean Underwood (google her doing naked yoga)