Posts Tagged ‘indians’

Nice pearl necklace loser! Burn!

FantasySP.com-MINNEAPOLIS (AP) – Cleveland Indians shortstop Asdrubal Cabrera has left the game with the Minnesota Twins because of lower back spasms. Cabrera played two innings Monday night before being taken out.
(7/21/2014)

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This is new territory for me as a true homer in every sense of the word. I ALWAYS root for every player on my teams to be successful because that’s just what a dumb blind idiot would do. If he’s on the team he’s my favorite player. That’s the stupid thing I believe in. And a few years ago Asdrubal might have been about my favorite player on the Indians so I can honestly say that when he left the game tonight and I said “Good, get that fucking piece of shit outta’ there” that I was just as surprised to hear the words as anyone in the room. (Completely alone) I was surprised because I was at the game in Tampa a few years ago when Asdrubal broke his arm and I was devastated. He was my favorite player. Jesus Christ.
So what the hell happened? Well without getting into stats (because that would be responsible) I would just like to state that he’s totally being a piece of shit the last 2 years. It feels like every inning ends with him taking off his batting gloves and helmet and handing it to the first base coach because he just grounded into an inning ending DP. And I’ve lost count of all the errors this year. I don’t know the exact number but I’d guess it’s somewhere in the 1000’s so far. At least 50 a game. The Tribe have about 4 utility players starting every game and I don’t see why they just don’t trade Cabrera and plug in another at shortstop. He CAN’T be in the long term plans at the position right? That would be lunacy. As a matter of fact I know that Francisco Lindor is the SS waiting to be called up and he’s the best prospect in the whole organization. The future starts now.

-Ken

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“That’ll learn a bitch”…. Oh wait, wrong guy

When I lived in Ohio I loved Opening Day because it marked the end of an incredibly long and depressing winter. The sun was going to be shining more often, school was almost over, trees and grass were going to come back to life and my favorite sport was about to be on the television almost every day until the beginning of November. The feeling, especially during the mid to late 90’s when the Indians had a real chance of making the World Series every year, was a confident optimism Cleveland fans have not experienced very much in the last quarter century. Last year’s success kind of krept up on us, a Kazmir and Jimenez turned in great years and Giambi couldn’t stop hitting game winning homeruns. Swisher, Bourn and Cabrera had slow years but Kipnis, Brantley and the Goon Squad stepped in with solid performances and helped win the wild card. Possibly the most exciting part of the team is knowing that Francona is the glue that holds everything together and there is a real confident optimism that the Indians can get back to the playoffs again this year. It’s a different team, but a lot of the same personalities are back and some of the dead weight has been cut out. (I’m talking about you Perez, you know, because you’re girlfriend is definitely reading this to you while you sit on the couch braiding a new hemp necklace. Stupid head case.)

So it’s opening day, but now I’m in Florida getting ready to deal with an incredibly long and scorching summer. The sun will be shining even brighter, the stupid neighborhood kids will be out of school, and I am going to have to cut the grass at least twice a week so it doesn’t grow over the top of my house. But thankfully, my favorite sport will be on every day until November and I’m feeling confidently optimistic. I hope everyone out there is too. Except Astros fans. Your team is garbage. You guys just forget about baseball and focus on the draft and NBA playoffs. God the Astros suck.

-Ken

Brothers gotta hug!!

Had to throw in the Metcalf 2 TD punt return game against the Steelers, still gets me geeked up.

New logo in 2015

New logo in 2015


Washington Post- Two members of Congress have written a letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell urging Goodell and the league “to take a formal position in support of a name change” by the Washington Redskins. The letter by Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.) and Rep. Tom Cole (R-Okla.) is to be sent Monday to Goodell. “The NFL can no longer ignore this and perpetuate the use of this name as anything but what it is: a racial slur,” Cantwell and Cole write in the letter. “It is clear that you haven’t heard the leading voices of this country — and not just Indian Country. Virtually every major civil rights organization in America has spoken out in opposition to this name including the NAACP, the Anti-Defamation League, the Rainbow Coalition and the League of United Latin American Citizens.”

I have a well documented, by myself, history of laughing at the Redskins and their tiny little owner Daniel Snyder. He gives people apples for bonuses, he sucks at running a team, and he shouldn’t buckle under the pressure of Congress. Senator Cantwell and Representative Cole need to mind their own god damn business. They want Goodell to force Snyder’s team to change the name that has been around since before they were born. Is it racist? Fuck yes it is. The team is named after the color of a person’s skin. It could only be more racist if it was the Washington Big Red Nose Whisky Drinkers or the Washington Drug Dealing Dark Skinned Former Slaves. Newsflash people, Native Americans don’t give a shit. You know why? They get a shit ton of perks for the horrible things the white people did to their ancestors. If I could run casinos and not pay taxes and sell cheap cigarettes just for Irish people being treated like dogs, I’d be all in. Not happening. These Native Americans just want to live their lives and not be bothered by shit like changing football teams names. They probably rake in the dough at the sports books when people put money on the ‘Skins while betting on other teams, kinda like pouring some out for the homies with booze. (The Skins never win/cover). And the argument is every other Civil Rights group wants the name change but the only one that matters doesn’t. Get a fucking clue.

Just look at this little guy

Just look at this little guy


-Jesse

Just stop giving them reasons to televise signs like this.

Locker Room Blog- The city of Cleveland may not have won a championship in any major sport in about 50 years, but the city with the nickname “Mistake by the Lake” is getting something which no other city has. Cleveland is getting an ESPN “30 for 30” documentary about its constant and horrible misfortune in sports. Since the Cleveland Browns won the city’s last championship in the pre-Super Bowl era, Cleveland has seen such memorable sports-related atrocities as the Ten Cent Beer Night riot, two consecutive collapses in the final minute of AFC Championship games, countless playoff pummellings from Michael Jordan, losing a World Series in extra innings of a Game 7, an embarrassing “throwing bottles at referees” incident, the whole LeBron thing, and seeing their NFL team carpetbag off to Baltimore and win two titles.

My only question is — How are they going to fit all of that into just one hour?

The ESPN “30 for 30” documentary about Cleveland’s sports misery has just started shooting, and will air in 2014. ESPN is apparently confident that Cleveland will not win any championships before then. The doc will be directed by Kris Belman, who directed the LeBron James high school team documentary “More than a Game” (available in it’s entirety at WatchDocumentary.org).

ESPN making a “30 for 30” about Cleveland sports miseryAll you need to know about the Cleveland Sports mentality can be summed up by the name of the city’s most popular sports blogs — Waiting For Next Year, Cleveland Sports Torture, The Factory of Sadness, Cleveland Frowns, and Red Right 88 (the name of the playcall that lost the Browns a playoff game to the Raiders in 1981. These people remember their losses forever.)

“It’s not just not having won a championship. It’s being almost there and not getting it done. Being left at the altar,” Delman told the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “To me it works best in this city.”

We can only hope Delman includes the work of Cleveland viral video comedian Mike Polk, he of the “Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video”, “Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt”, “Tribute to TNT’s ‘Inside the NBA'”,and the original Factory of Sadness.

Cavs won this game actually

As I’ve stated in an earlier post, the stooges at ESPN absolutely LOOOOVE to remind Cleveland that they haven’t won anything since 1964 and they take great joy in celebrating in the misery of its fans. Well the next edition of Fuck Cleveland: Sports Edition is coming this year and it’ll be the closest thing to telling a whole city to kill themselves as you can do without any repercussions. ESPN is literally hoping for mass suicides and devastating embarrassment to kill the hold outs. They are not unlike the Nazi’s trying to completely erase an entire group of people from the face of the earth. But whatever tactics they use will not work because the people of Cleveland are resilient and irrepressible. I’ve said it before, God forbid if any team ever wins a championship because there will be a one month dick waving party by every Cleveland fan you’ve ever met in your entire life. They will find you and slap the shit out of you with their dick until your eyes are bleeding. And trust me, you don’t want the last image you ever see to be a certain individual of eastern European decent wearing a Webster Slaughter jersey to bludgeon you to death with their crank.

I don’t know what kind of shit bag would make this movie, (same guy who made the LeBron high school documentary which was boring) but he better not present it in the condescending voice of ESPN. It’ll just turn into another pile on event and that will only lead to more cock floggings for others later. In fact, I would suggest the director just scraps the whole idea completely and focuses on doing something creative and fresh. Maybe another LeBron and Friends documentary or Fever Pitch 2: Just Keep the Duck Boats Running.

-Ken

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NBC News- Village elders in India ordered the gang rape of a 20-year-old woman after they found out she was in a relationship with a man from a different community, police said Thursday. Police in a rural part of West Bengal arrested 13 people in connection with the alleged offense that left the woman in critical condition in the hospital, police told the BBC. “The relationship was going on for almost five years,” Birbhum police chief C. Sudhakar said. “When the man visited the woman’s home on Monday with the proposal of marriage, villagers spotted him and organized a kangaroo court. Sudhakar told the BBC that the elders took action because the woman was from their tribal community and her boyfriend was from a non-tribal community nearby. So-called “kangaroo courts,” made up of village elders, do not have an official capacity but are not uncommon especially in India’s more rural areas. The woman said she was assaulted by the men on the night of Jan. 20 in the district of Birbhum. Sudhakar told the BBC that the lead elder, who is among those arrested, had initially ordered the woman’s family to pay 25,000 rupees ($400). But they were too poor to pay the fine so the elder told the alleged gang rapists “go enjoy the girl and have fun,” according to a complaint filed by the family. According to a report by Reuters the men have appeared in court and are now remanded in jail.

I probably haven’t read a more fucked up story in a loooooong time. This girl was dating someone from outside the community and she was ordered to be fucking raped as a punishment? For all of you who think it sucks when your parents grounded you for dating someone they didn’t like or your friends gave you shit for fucking a fat chick, be glad there was no kangaroo court in town. Jesus H Christ this kind of shit blows my mind, just the fact that people still think this is ok. How embarrassed are you when Grandpa maybe has too many whisky and ice’s and drops the N bomb in front of company. Imagine if Grandpa ordered your best friend to be ran threw by 13 guys because she dated someone from across town.
And I know it’s probably “too soon” or whatever but anytime I hear kangaroo court I think it’s a funny term and I really wanna be apart of one. But one that involved kangaroos wearing old wigs and stuff, not fucking backwards Indians ordering brutal rapes.

PS I hope there is a bunch of HUGE Indians waiting in jail for these guys. Revenge is a terrible thing
-Jesse

Sizemore headed back to the DL after straining an oblique taking a bathroom selfie.

Big League Stew- Grady Sizemore hasn’t appeared in a major league game since Sept. 22, 2011 and hasn’t topped 71 games in a season since 2009 due to a myriad of injuries, but that didn’t stop the Boston Red Sox from signing the now 31-year-old outfielder to a guaranteed major league deal on Wednesday.
Rob Bradford of WEEI was the first to report the deal was in place. He also notes the contract will include over $5 million in incentives.
You can bet the deal includes several escalators for games played and plate appearances.
The biggest concern for Sizemore as he enters the 2014 season will be the condition of his right knee. In September of 2012, Sizemore underwent microfracture surgery and spent the entire 2013 out of baseball rehabbing and strengthening the knee. No setbacks have been reported, so it appears the knee is as healthy as can reasonably be expected. Now the Red Sox will hope he’s healthy enough to be a part their outfield rotation and replace some of production lost when Jacoby Ellsbury signed with the New York Yankees.
Complicating matters is the fact Sizemore has also undergone six other operations dating back to 2009. In 2009, Sizemore had his left elbow cleaned up and a sports hernia operation. In 2010, he underwent surgery on his left knee. In 2011 there was another sports hernia operation and an initial clean up of his right knee. Then in 2012 he had surgery on his lower back preceding the microfracture operation.
That’s a pretty heavy toll and a lot to overcome in a relatively short period of time.
Obviously it’s an extreme long shot that Sizemore can be the same guy who averaged 27 home runs and 81 RBIs between 2005-2008, but the Red Sox don’t necessarily need that. They would probably take 90-100 games with half those numbers and be very happy with it
If Sizemore doesn’t break camp with the team or falls well short of those numbers, even on a major league deal Boston doesn’t lose a lot by only guaranteeing $750,000. It’s low-risk/high-reward contract for them, and it’s the same for Sizemore as he’s guaranteed to have a fair opportunity to prove to himself and his new team that’s he healthy and still capable. That’s all he can ask for at this stage in his career.

How the fuck does this man keep getting teams to give him money???? There has never been a bigger Sizemore fan than me but there is no upside for anyone involved here. (Yes, I realize it’s only $750K guaranteed but then again, $750k is roughly 30 times what any poor working class stiff with functioning knees and elbows makes in a year.) He literally just signed a deal to make three quarters of a million dollars based on how he played 5 years ago. The Red Sox just took a pile of money and threw it in the dumpster. No way around it. Here’s what is going to happen: Sizemore will look amazing in spring training for 2 weeks. Everyone will be thinking the Red Sox hit the lottery. Jacoby who? But Sizemore only has one speed, that’s right, Ludacris Speed!

It’ll start with a groin strain legging out an infield single. Then a slight hamstring pull diving for a line drive. Then the tweaked knee while rounding third trying to score when the Sox are already winning by 11 in the 8th inning. 2 months of rehab later…knee surgery. Season over. God bless ‘em. I wish I could convince someone to pay me now for the shit I was doing in 2009. I made a bunch of lattes and opened a ton of beers. Pay up!!

-Ken

“Please lose this number.”

Shutdown Corner-There are 32 NFL head-coaching jobs. Even the worst of the lot is very valuable. They’re almost impossible to get. And almost all of them pay more than what any NFL assistant coach makes.
And the Cleveland Browns can’t get anyone to be their head coach.
Denver Broncos offensive coordinator Adam Gase, a 35-year-old who had never risen above position coach until this season, has told the Browns he isn’t interested according to the Denver Post’s Mike Klis.
The line about “concentrating on the Super Bowl” seems like a “I have to stay in and wash my hair” type excuse. The Browns are the last team that has a coaching vacancy. They would surely have waited two more weeks if Gase was their guy. But Gase would rather pass altogether. The Super Bowl excuse just softens the blow.
And now, Browns fans have every reason to feel pretty miserable.
At least three assistants have said no thanks to the Browns. Arizona defensive coordinator Todd Bowles, a respected coach who has been in the NFL for almost 20 years without getting a shot at a permanent head-coaching job, said no. Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels, who is from Ohio and should feel fortunate to be getting considered for a second chance after an absolute debacle in Denver, pulled out of consideration. And now Gase, with all of one year as a NFL coordinator, doesn’t want it either.
Again, there are only 32 of these jobs in the world. No coach can be sure he’ll ever get a shot at one. And multiple assistants have turned Cleveland down. The Browns can’t exactly go into a press conference after they finally hire a coach and pretend he was their first choice, can they?
The fallout from firing Rob Chudzinksi after just one year might be much stronger than first realized. The Browns fired Chudzinski after one season despite injury issues at quarterback and trading running back Trent Richardson early in the season. They canned him without any great reason, at least none that have been revealed publicly.
This is a franchise with a good defense, some good pieces on offense (tackle Joe Thomas, receiver Josh Gordon and tight end Jordan Cameron among them), the fourth overall pick of the draft and another first-rounder thanks to the Richardson trade. Cleveland has a tremendous fan base that is desperate for a winner. It should be a fairly attractive job. And nobody seems to want it.
Last week Browns owner Jimmy Haslam told fans through an open letter to not worry. Well, worrying seems to be the proper reaction now.

So this is not really news in Cleveland because all the local media had been reporting that Gase was going to decline the job anyway. But nationally, this a chance for everyone to pile on the hapless Browns and make another joke about how no one who isn’t trying to commit professional suicide wants to come within 3 states of this team. Normally I get annoyed at the trolls on the message boards taking their verbal dumps on Cleveland, its teams, and most courageously, its fans. And I love how any nationally televised Cleveland sports game can’t be aired without all of the city’s heart breaks neatly tied together in a couple graphics and a 30 second montage video featuring all of the horrifying nightmares on full display like a giant open wound for everyone in the country to spit in. Amazingly I’m used to this kind of treatment and while I will never be ok with it I’ve just come to accept the fact that most people are just dumb sheep with no imagination or creativity and will believe whatever ESPN or any person on TV tells them to think about a city or its people.
But despite the fact that everyone is stupid and should kill themselves, this kind of story does signal a potential huge problem in Cleveland. I believe that the players in college and the NFL have already bought into the idea that playing in Cleveland is a death sentence and a career ending proposition, and this has been a problem for a long time. But I think coaches have generally been smart enough to recognize any team as an opportunity to show what they can do in the league. Every coach out there thinks they have all the answers (or can hire coordinators with the answers) and that they can be the one to change the culture of a losing organization. It comes with the territory of being a coach in the ultra-competitive NFL. But now potential coaches are recognizing Cleveland as an extremely tumultuous and hopeless situation. The source of all this distrust is coming from the dumb fuckers running the organization and it starts at the top with Jimmy Haslam. No fan in Cleveland likes him, or more importantly trusts him. There’s still a fear that he’ll up and move the team someday. Why wouldn’t he? He runs a crooked organization that’s been ripping off truck drivers for years. He’s a hot head who acts impulsively. I’m not a huge Joe Banner fan but he did fleece the Colts for a first round pick by trading Richardson this year so he gets a 7 year pass from me. But honestly, the Browns have 2 first round picks this year including the 4th overall and I am nervous as fuck that they are going to blow them with a historic degree of ineptitude. I just recently had to deal with an Anthony Bennett fiasco with the Cavs so my confidence in the drafting ability in this town is at an all-time low. We’re looking at a long snapper and place kicker in the first round right? Can’t be any better than that. And they only hit on one of them. The kicker demands to be traded on draft day.
But that’s the situation the new coach will be entering into when he ultimately decides he has no other options but to take the Cleveland job. No say in the draft, current shitty roster who hates playing there, zero quarterbacks, and a front office situation with all the certainty and composure of an erupting volcano. Good luck and congratulations on being the next fired Browns head coach, Mr. Unproven College Coordinator.

-Ken

Yes I realize at the beginning I said how I hated everyone for piling on the Browns and then did it myself, but it’s my team. I’m allowed to, you’re not. You’re dumb when you do it. I’m smart.