Posts Tagged ‘injury’

What am I supposed to do with this shit? What I am supposed to think here? Of course LeBron is ok, right?! How big of an asshole would I have to be to think for a split second that his back might not be 100%? Yes, we all know he got an injection last week just like he did last year during his mid-season vacation, and he came back to finish the season strong. But this doesn’t feel the same to me. Players don’t just lay around on the fucking ground for the fun of it. They’ve got some pretty decent chairs sitting right next to the court that not only give the player a great view of the action, but have plenty of back support that should satisfy any world class athlete. Common losers spend a couple thousand dollars a night to sit in those same seats every night and LeBron just pisses all over the idea by sprawling out on a blanket like he’s having a picnic. This will probably catch on and all the stars across the league and some scrubs will be laying around on the floor the next time they roll an ankle or their hamstring tightens up. (Yes I know players have done this before but now LeBron is doing it so it’s important, see?)

Anyway, I’d like to mention that the image of LeBron blatantly resting his broken back on national TV doesn’t make me think for one second that he won’t carry the entire team around on his shoulders all year AND win a title, but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel awesome about seeing it. If anything it’s a power move I guess. “Look, my spine is so fucked up I can’t even sit in a chair!….just kidding, I’m averaging 26-9-8.”

-Ken

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Nice pearl necklace loser! Burn!

FantasySP.com-MINNEAPOLIS (AP) – Cleveland Indians shortstop Asdrubal Cabrera has left the game with the Minnesota Twins because of lower back spasms. Cabrera played two innings Monday night before being taken out.
(7/21/2014)

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This is new territory for me as a true homer in every sense of the word. I ALWAYS root for every player on my teams to be successful because that’s just what a dumb blind idiot would do. If he’s on the team he’s my favorite player. That’s the stupid thing I believe in. And a few years ago Asdrubal might have been about my favorite player on the Indians so I can honestly say that when he left the game tonight and I said “Good, get that fucking piece of shit outta’ there” that I was just as surprised to hear the words as anyone in the room. (Completely alone) I was surprised because I was at the game in Tampa a few years ago when Asdrubal broke his arm and I was devastated. He was my favorite player. Jesus Christ.
So what the hell happened? Well without getting into stats (because that would be responsible) I would just like to state that he’s totally being a piece of shit the last 2 years. It feels like every inning ends with him taking off his batting gloves and helmet and handing it to the first base coach because he just grounded into an inning ending DP. And I’ve lost count of all the errors this year. I don’t know the exact number but I’d guess it’s somewhere in the 1000’s so far. At least 50 a game. The Tribe have about 4 utility players starting every game and I don’t see why they just don’t trade Cabrera and plug in another at shortstop. He CAN’T be in the long term plans at the position right? That would be lunacy. As a matter of fact I know that Francisco Lindor is the SS waiting to be called up and he’s the best prospect in the whole organization. The future starts now.

-Ken

We’re late to the party because I couldn’t find a link for the whole video, YouTube took it down. So fuck it, here is the vine of Shovel Girl getting blasted with, you guessed it, a god damn shovel.

Instant update, here is the full video. Kinda boring until like 4:40. And that chick is now temporarily deaf in that ear (she did an interview with the Billy Madison Show today).
-Jesse

Bishop Injures His Left Wrist Tuesday Against The Maple Leafs. Out For The Rest Of The Regular Season; Maybe Playoffs

I’m not trying to sound like a kill joy here because I was so stoked for the playoffs I couldn’t stand it. But if Bishop is out for the playoffs then this team is fucked. He is/was the ONLY chance this team had making it out of the first round and actually gave them a pretty good shot of making it deep. He’s THAT good. Anders Lindback on the other hand, is like having a folding chair sitting in front of the goal. God, this team is so fucked. He better be back for the playoffs, he’s a hockey player, rub some ice on it and get back out there.

-Ken

Look at Vladimir Guerrero still throwing lasers around the ball park likes he’s in his prime. Poor old Baylor should’ve been in full gear. But I guess this is what happens to us all at some point. When you’re young you jump from 25 feet up out of trees on a dare, when you’re old your legs fall off in front of 45,000 horrified people. Can’t wait…

-Ken