Posts Tagged ‘lebron’

The Cavs

Posted: June 21, 2016 in Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , ,


So I’m not going to let myself be dilusional enough to think that anyone is going to read this except for myself 10 years from now. But this whole blog is basically a coping mechanism I use to deal with a lot of disappointment I feel as a Cleveland sports fan. I watch a goddamn awful lot of sports and think about them even more so I need a device that saves a few random snapshots of my thoughts every once in a while that I can reflect on some time down the road. Maybe my kids will read some of this crap one day and understand why their dad is the way he is. 

I don’t think I will forget any of this for my whole life but just in case my memory slips a little here is what I loved the most about this whole experience:

The game flew by. I remember complaining every timeout that I hated the stupid commercials (D Wade drinking frozen Gatorade in the fortress of solitude) but it was over in an instant. Not unlike my wedding day. Just a complete whirlwind of emotion. 

Kyrie is a cold blooded killer. I was talking with some friends a few months ago and said that the Cavs could beat the Warriors if he out shot Steph. Watching him the last few years I knew he could do it. I honestly think Klay is a better shooter than Steph but I think Kyrie is a better clutch shooter than both of them. And that’s not taking anything away from either of them, I constantly live in fear of seeing the ball leave their hands toward the hoop. But there are times when Kyrie is so hot that I have no doubt in my mind that the ball is going in. ​


I had total confidence in LeBron going into the game. I knew we had the best player in the world on our team and in a one game playoff and that’s the most you can ask for. He didn’t disappoint with a triple double and the most important chase down block I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s been doing those his whole career and it’s always just been a bonus to everything else he does, but now you see how truly important it is to never give up on a play. 


Plus I appreciated his throwback over acted broken arm injury at the most important moment in the history of the franchise. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched him rolling around under the basket being absolutely convinced he was dying only to see him pop up and knock down his free throws. 

Love pulled through with a solid game and JR may have saved the season in the 3rd quarter with 8 straight points to erase an 8 point deficit. If the Warriors push it up to 10 or 12, the game is probably  over. 

I’ll always be thankful to have seen a championship in Cleveland. I’ve never felt like a loser for cheering for them just constantly disappointed. But the weight of maybe never experiencing the pure joy of winning one has been lifted and now all I can think about is how much I want to feel this for the Indians and Browns. 

Ken (fan of the World Champion Cleveland Cavaliers)


  

Advertisements

What am I supposed to do with this shit? What I am supposed to think here? Of course LeBron is ok, right?! How big of an asshole would I have to be to think for a split second that his back might not be 100%? Yes, we all know he got an injection last week just like he did last year during his mid-season vacation, and he came back to finish the season strong. But this doesn’t feel the same to me. Players don’t just lay around on the fucking ground for the fun of it. They’ve got some pretty decent chairs sitting right next to the court that not only give the player a great view of the action, but have plenty of back support that should satisfy any world class athlete. Common losers spend a couple thousand dollars a night to sit in those same seats every night and LeBron just pisses all over the idea by sprawling out on a blanket like he’s having a picnic. This will probably catch on and all the stars across the league and some scrubs will be laying around on the floor the next time they roll an ankle or their hamstring tightens up. (Yes I know players have done this before but now LeBron is doing it so it’s important, see?)

Anyway, I’d like to mention that the image of LeBron blatantly resting his broken back on national TV doesn’t make me think for one second that he won’t carry the entire team around on his shoulders all year AND win a title, but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel awesome about seeing it. If anything it’s a power move I guess. “Look, my spine is so fucked up I can’t even sit in a chair!….just kidding, I’m averaging 26-9-8.”

-Ken

Gotta love (hate) Bosh’s total disregard for the little worthless people who only exist to make his life more comfortable. I would be completely surprised of the towel boy was even allowed to look at him in the eyes. But seriously, why would he ever waste a half second of his life to acknowledge a poor piece of shit when he needs to focus 100% on letting Tony Parker shoot layups in his face and getting open three ball looks.

I’m not saying he needs to completely turn around and say “No thank you, Mike. I’m already adequately hydrated thanks to your attentiveness, how’s your kids doing by the way? Little Mikey Jr. get an A on his science project?”
But at least give the guy a grunt and a head twitch. Nothing worse than the dismissive hand wave.

-Ken

20140516-000459.jpg

Love how they gave you you the “Billy” reminder to jump start your memory when you were trying to figure out why the hell there was an old wrinkled Jew on your TV screen NOT named Donald Sterling while you were watching a Clippers game.

Almost makes me wish I still had a VCR so I could fire up City Slickers. But sadly I threw my VCR away because City Slickers was the fucking movie that melted inside of it and ruined it.

Everyone has a VCR ruining movie and even if you at one time loved it you now hate it because it’s the reason why your $200 VCR is sitting on top of your trash can with 4 miles of tape spilling out of the front flap. Clerks ruined another VCR of mine, and to make matters worse it was a rented copy from Blockbuster so I had to buy them a new one. Fuck old technology. It took up too much space and cost me a fortune.

-Ken

-please visit my eBay page, I’m selling my X Files complete series VHS set. If you don’t want to watch them then they can be stacked up and used as furniture.

@everywhereontwitter

He does not look too happy about wearing those colors. It’s all in the body language. That, or the fact that he is almost 7 feet tall and walking through a plane. Can’t tell for sure but I’m going to assume he hates wearing a Browns jersey just as much as every Browns fan hates to see him in it.

-Ken

20140310-235419.jpg
I submit exhibit ‘A’ to the court: This photo was taken March 10th, 2014 after an NBA game in which LeBron played.

And now Exhibit ‘B’: This photo was taken April 23rd following another NBA game. Looks like someone got a fresh coat of paint.

Actually I can’t tell if it’s a case of canned hair or a moving hairline. Could be shaping it higher to counteract the recession but it seems like it’d have to be a little higher.
Look, LeBron and I don’t have a lot in common other than our horrible fashion sense (I’m currently wearing a 2007 Cavs Eastern Conference Champions T-Shirt for about the 4th day in a row, 1 day of which I mowed the lawn and gym shorts from high school. And when I go to the store later I’m not even going to consider changing) and our horrible hairlines. He choose another team over mine. It hurt. He then has won multiple championships. That hurts too. I’m really trying to find a way to identify with him and like him. I feel like being honest about his impending baldness would make him a lot more likable. For EVERYONE. Just shave it bald and be proud! Then put on a Yankees hat. Hats have been the only acceptable way to hide baldness since our monkey ancestors ripped out all their hair digging for ticks and then dunked their head in a pile of elephant shit to cover it up. I wear a hat, and when I put it on I immediately become 10 years younger and look slightly less menacing and perverted. Even somewhat approachable. If I could wear a hat to job interviews I’d be the most employed person you’ve ever met.

-Ken

Stick and move, Mac! Stick and Move!

You don’t take the presidency gig in NY without blowing up that god awful coaching staff. That’s a given. I think even Isaiah Thomas could come back and make that move before he gets fired for grabbing some skirt’s tit in an elevator. But now the two biggest questions facing the franchise at this moment will determine if they’re competing for titles every year, or playing ping pong with the rest of the garbage teams in the East. And the questions go hand-in-hand.
Does Phil Jackson fight through his injuries and coach this team and does Mello stick around for another contract?
I think if Jackson is the coach then Mello stays and who knows who else shows up? Would LeBron ditch Miami to finally play in NY and win rings 4-8? (Yes they’re winning again this year)
I’m a Cavs fan and for some reason I feel like I would love that team. They’d have to win at least 70 games a year right? Who would stop them? Rose’s knee? Pierce and Garnett’s 40 year old bodies? Part-time Wade and Bosh? A team from Indiana? Gimme a break. I’ve changed my mind. They win at least 75 games a year and Spike Jones starts making good movies again.

“Alright Bargnani! Get in there and give me some quality minutes!”

-Ken