Posts Tagged ‘new movie’

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This movie was a god damn disgrace. Yes, you heard that right. I am going out on a limb (not really) and saying I did not like the new movie. Were there aspects of it that I enjoyed, of course, it’s still a tale as old as time. But let’s get a couple things straight before a bunch of people say this is better than the original.

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First of all, Emma Watson is my girl. She’s might marry one, fuck one and I’ll kill you for ever saying anything bad about her, only I can do that. Her looks were top notch. Breathtaking. Her singing was something I will clearly have to overlook should I ever kidnap her and force her into a marriage. They easily could’ve picked some other pretty actress who can sing.

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Secondly, Gaston was like 5’10. Sure he looked kind of tall next to midget Olaf but come the fuck on, Gaston is supposed to be as big as an actual Beast and this guy could probably barely ride the Tea Cups at Disney without a booster seat.

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Lastly, and it’s kind of a two parter, Lumiere was awful and he fucked up Be Our Guest. A song I voted as my favorite Disney song ever cannot get messed up in this movie. Ewan McGregor is a fine actor and seems like a cool dude but his extremely forced French accent was cringe worthy and the way they butchered the song was sickening. I threw up in the fucking theater. You can’t see the voice actors, just pick a real French guy!

So if you haven’t seen this movie keep these things in mind before going in. If you are strong enough as a human to separate the two films and enjoy them equally then you are a much better person than I. Also if you can get past the bestiality thing when they are actual live people instead of cartoons then you’re probably a fucking weirdo and need to get put on a list of some sort.

 

Jesse

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Broadway World.com- Lionsgate (NYSE: LGF), a leading global entertainment company, and Saban Brands, a strategic brand management company that acquires and builds global consumer brands, are partnering to develop and produce an original live action feature film based on the iconic Power Rangers property, it was announced today by creator of Power Rangers Haim Saban and Lionsgate Chief Executive Officer Jon Feltheimer. The announcement marks another step in Lionsgate’s continued commitment to build a broad portfolio of Branded properties and franchises with global appeal. Saban launched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as a live action television series more than 20 years ago, and the series has been in continuous production ever since. It has subsequently grown into one of the world’s most popular and recognizable brands, with toys, apparel, costumes, video games, DVD’s, comic books and other merchandise.

If you are in your 20-30s the Power Rangers were a huge part of your childhood. Every Saturday morning you had the Ninja Turtles, Duck Tales, Power Rangers and then the Care Bears (anyone who says they didn’t watch the Care Bears to try and be a tough guy is a fucking poser. Everyone watched that shit). I had no clue they still made Power Rangers shows and shit but it makes sense, it’s literally a never ending stream of cool shit they can do and stories to tell. I mean look at these bad guys, you can just make up someone new each week without fear of repeating yourself
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But depending on how cheesy or ‘dark’ they make the movie it could go very well or very bad. In ’95 they made one with the original cast and it made like 70 million which is roughly 3 billion dollars in today’s money. And I know every young star in Hollywood is going to fight for a part so here is my dream cast for the new Power Rangers movie. (most are in their 30s because who knows how old the characters are supposed to be, it’s my cast fuck off)
Red Ranger (the funny one)- Ryan Reynolds (let’s hope he doesn’t fuck up this one like he did the other Superhero movies. Last chance Ryan, last chance)
Black Ranger (ninja)- Taylor Lautner (Twilight kid, he did all kinds of ninja shit on SNL)
Blue Ranger (nerd)- Jake Gyllenhaal (still has that October Sky dorkiness but can juice up and kick ass)
Yellow Ranger (tough girl?)- Megan Fox (just imagine her being all bitchy dressed in that leather costume…)
Pink Ranger (the hot chick)- Kaley Cuoco (has to be a chick everyone in the world wants to fuck)
Green Ranger (powerful)- Tom Hardy (he’s the most powerful one in my book! haha..God I’m gay for Tom Hardy)

Well there it is, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Megan Fox, Kaley Cuoco, and Tom Hardy. If that doesn’t scream billion dollar movie then I don’t know what the fuck will. You’re welcome Hollywood, I’ll be expecting my check in the mail.
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-Jesse

Sooooo Zac Efron is so good looking that dressed as a chick, I’d for sure hit that. Also it’s very upsetting that Seth said he saw his dick on the set of ‘Neighbors’ and it has a girthy root. Not one thing about my dick has ever been described as girthy, especially the root.

And Seth Rogen as a chick…I’ve tagged a few that looked identical to that. Ew.

-Jesse

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StarWars.com- The Star Wars team is thrilled to announce the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film. Director J.J. Abrams says, “We are so excited to finally share the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. It is both thrilling and surreal to watch the beloved original cast and these brilliant new performers come together to bring this world to life, once again. We start shooting in a couple of weeks, and everyone is doing their best to make the fans proud.” Star Wars: Episode VII is being directed by J.J. Abrams from a screenplay by Lawrence Kasdan and Abrams. Kathleen Kennedy, J.J. Abrams, and Bryan Burk are producing, and John Williams returns as the composer. The movie opens worldwide on December 18, 2015.

Well there it is (kinda). All of the main actors are now named but they have yet to release who they will play and they may never release that information. And I was never a huge Star Wars guy but then again I wasn’t huge into Star Trek until the new movie came out and now I love it. This film however will be universes ahead of Star Trek when it comes to the box office and world-wide phenomenon when it comes out late next year. I wouldn’t be surprised if nerds are already pitching tents to be first in line while they blog away about every thing JJ Abrams will get wrong or right.

-Jesse

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I strongly suggest not watching this trailer if you have ANY plans on seeing the movie. I have no information about the story at all except Ben Affleck’s wife disappears and they are trying to find her. Then I assumed it would be a 2 hour version of True Detective without a cool Matthew McConaughey type character and the ending would be shocking since David Fincher is directing. But after watching the trailer, I’m pretty sure I just saw the whole movie. Go ahead and watch if you will but you’ve been warned. Fucking movie trailer people, step your game up.

-Jesse

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Here are the facts that make me want to see this movie asap. The Drop was written by Dennis Lehane, author of “Gone Baby Gone”, “Mystic River” and “Shutter Island” (those movies plus a lot of really good books). It is starring Tom Hardy and James Gandolfini in his final film role. It involves the cutest puppy of all time, the mafia, illegal money, a Brooklyn bar, and Gandolfini showing some flashes of Tony Soprano one last time. This isn’t the typical ‘see it in a theatre’ movie with special effects and all that jazz, but I will be there day one in the afternoon. Count on it.

Bad ass behind the scenes picture

Bad ass behind the scenes picture


-Jesse

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This guy is a fucking freak. Sure it’s all HGH and the best juice known to man, but there are definitely genetics at play here too. Just hope I never have to choose between “Fight the Rock or we will kill your family” because I will really miss my family when they’re dead.
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-Jesse