Posts Tagged ‘nfl’

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Adam Schefter just reported on SportsCenter, Tony Romo will leave football and go to the booth. This is all good news if you ask me. First of all, the guy has kids and probably wants to walk when they are older. Makes sense. Secondly, he was most likely leaning towards the Broncos and that would’ve made this Raider fan really pissed off. Sure Romo is Mr. Glass in real life but when he isn’t getting touched/injured, he is a really good passer and could make them a monster threat in the AFC West. Thirdly, this motherfucker has made something like 150 mil in his career, who wants to wake up and get your face beat in when you have that dough,

this wife,article-0-12D2190E000005DC-456_634x906.jpg

and this smile?

download (1).jpgWell two out of three is still pretty good.

Perfect storm for retirement. Goodbye Tony.

 

Jesse

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To the man who has saved Raider Nation.

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To the man who is equal parts Tebow in his humility and love of God, and Aaron Rodgers in his gun-slinging, brass balls, rocket fueled arm.

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To the man who has a bro-mance with Khalil Mack that an out of shape, awkward white guy can only dream of.

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To the man who made sales of guy liner go through the fucking roof (still researching the stats on that one). Happy Birthday. Heal up my friend, we have a big year ahead of us!

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PS If my next child is a boy his middle name will be Derek. Half because of Jeter, half because of Carr.

 

Jesse

” Great party! Is your friend Herb gonna be here?”

Play this video while reading the article for full effect:

The Sports Xchange- Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon faces a season-long suspension for a positive marijuana test, his second violation of the NFL policy, according to an ESPN “Outside the Lines” report Friday.
Gordon told the network he was unaware of the report and directed all questions to Drew Rosenhaus, who said the information was not true.

Gordon, 23, is the top playmaker on the roster. The Browns passed on two wide receivers in the top 10 of the 2014 NFL Draft on Thursday, dealing their initial pick to the Buffalo Bills, who drafted Clemson’s Sammy Watkins.
Gordon was suspended last season without pay for two games, but returned to catch 87 passes for 1,646 yards, including back-to-back 200-yard games in 14 regular-season games.

More….http://sports.yahoo.com/news/report-browns-wr-gordon-faces-221931385–nfl.html;_ylt=A0LEV1pwZW1TVloA8BFXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTB0Yjkwb3VoBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2JmMQR2dGlkA1ZJUDM3MF8x

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This is why I was so excited last night. It’s the reason I went to bed with a stupid shit eating grin tattooed across my face and woke up with the most solid morning wood of my entire life. I had what Browns fans NEVER have. A perfect nights sleep. Woke up in the same position as I fell asleep in, but no limbs were numb and stinging me. Didn’t have to piss in the middle of the night. The temperature under the covers were comfortably nestled somewhere between a mothers womb and the guts of a sliced open tauntaun. Heaven. I even started off my day right. Watched ESPN and listened to The Really Big Show all morning basking in the glory and enjoying those shit heads in Connecticut being forced to admit that the Browns had a good first round. Even their digs and jabs didn’t phase me today. Watched the Johnny Football Press conference. Laughed and giggled. Held back tears. But knowing deep down in the pit of my stomach that the floor was about to drop out from beneath me. Didn’t know what exactly. Just knew there was a shit storm brewing and if I wanted to get out of the way I should’ve started running last week. Cleveland CAN”T fly this high. Not enough air up there for the entire city to suck down all at once. Plus we all took off so fast we forgot to pack parachutes. When we come down, we come down HARD. Then about 6:15 my phone exploded with texts while I was reading Goodnight Moon to my son and even without looking at the screen I knew it had happened. Each vibration in my pocket felt like another knife jab into my heart. Reality had caught wind of our escape and had quickly closed in on us like a pack of wild dogs. We all scrambled for cover, clinging on to whatever hope we had. “Rosenhouse said it’s not true!” “Browns would have drafted a WR if they knew!” “Gordon said he would change!!!”

So here we are with as far as I’m concerned a TE being our number one and plenty of good WRs left in the draft and we get a lineman. I understand we need to protect Johnny and should probably only draft linemen for the next 5 rounds but we suddenly have a glaring need on the outside. There will come a time when Manziel does need to throw the football and it’d be nice if his targets had better hands than an oak tree.

On the bright side, we will have the greatest offensive line ever assembled in the history of the world. Farmer did say the league is changing. Let’s hope that means every play is a QB sneak behind 10 guards.

-Ken

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Not going to lie, I didn’t watch one second of this clip. I don’t have any time to watch because I’m simultaneously listening to Howard and Louis CK, doing mock drafts, and checking out naked chicks at the same time. All I know or care about Teddy Bridewater is that he drops out of the first round, ends up going to the Raiders in the early 2nd round, and becomes our QB of the future. Once he gets passed all the teams that desperately need a QB (1-7 basically) then he can drop all the way down to number 37 and take that pink Caddy straight to the Bay Area. He may suffer from Brady Quinn syndrome and look like a #1 but perform like a 7th rounder but I don’t think so (hope so).
PS I watched his Gruden QB Camp and he may be the most polite person outside of Tim Tebow on the planet.
PSS He looks a little gay, right? Right?
As a Gator fan I still love this picture
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-Jesse

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Skip Bayless. That’s it. I’ve literally tried 4 times to start this blog and I don’t know what to say about him. He’s an annoying asshole on TV but that’s his character and that’s why he has a shit ton of money. It works. He and Stephen A. Smith (played better by Jay Pharoah on SNL) are basically just two old guys (white and black) who disagree on literally everything. Football, basketball, the color of the fucking sky. The one thing they agree on is when they get weird about religion on air and make the athlete/rapper they have on stage really uncomfortable. All that aside, if Skip Bayless likes someone to the point of no return and I am a GM, I will not draft them. He would’ve murdered someone to get the point across that he thinks Tebow can win a Super Bowl. And that’s last week. He STILL thinks Timmy has the best QB skills of all time. Look how that turned out. Tim beat the Steelers and then got sodomized by Tom Brady and the Patriots in the second round of the playoffs and he hasn’t played since. Now Skip thinks the same thing about Johnny Football. Ruh-roh. Drake doesn’t have enough swag to pull him out of that nonsense. Bayless is the Cooler of the NFL draft which means that anything hot and exciting that gets touched by his seal of approval is destined to fail. Sorry Johnny, you had a good run.

PS Fuck Skip Bayless having a 90 year old women’s face and a jacked body. Go eat a donut and maybe you will see why Tebow can’t be a real NFL QB
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-Jesse

I pray to God he doesn't read this post

I pray to God he doesn’t read this post


ESPN- An NFL running back at 52 years old? Herschel Walker says it wouldn’t be a problem for him. “I can play in the NFL today,” Walker told USA Today Sports. “I couldn’t take every snap. But running backs nowadays don’t play every down. Now they send in the choir section. “Physically, I can still do it.” Walker, who said he’s busy with several business ventures, isn’t thinking of comeback. The Pro Football Hall of Fame website lists Jim Thorpe as the oldest running back to play in the history of the NFL at the age of 40. Thorpe played his last down of football for the Chicago Cardinals in 1928. A physical specimen known for his grueling training regimen, Walker retired from the NFL following the 1997 season and has since taken up Mixed Martial Arts, winning both of his fights, the last coming in January 2011. Part of arguably the most-lopsided trade in NFL history in 1989 when he was dealt from the Dallas Cowboys to the Minnesota Vikings for five players and six draft picks, Walker rushed for 8,225 yards in his career.

Before I write any of this, Herschel doesn’t read Blown Call does he? No? Ok good. Will someone stop putting a microphone in front of this guy’s face? We get it buddy, you’re in the best shape out of anyone that has lived ever. You do a billion pushups and sit ups a day and have never had booze or drugs. Congrats, your liver is healthy and you’ve never had the joy of a black out hangover. But do you remember literally ruining the Vikings because you were great in college and did shit in the NFL. Could you play today? Of course you can, you’re still a large person, but that doesn’t mean you will be good. Emmitt Smith could strap it up and play a few downs but he would get his fucking bell rocked just like Herschel would. Go do your pull ups old man, fight some no name MMA guys and watch football like the rest of us and keep those “I can still play” thoughts to yourself.
Here is a link documenting how horrible that Cowboy/Viking trade was
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herschel_Walker_trade

PS I could totally still play WR on a high school team. Book it.

-Jesse

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Everyone knows the Raiders have the toughest schedule in the NFL. The other 3 teams in their division made the playoffs and just about every other team they play did as well. But there were a lot of moves made in the offseason so let’s do a quick break down of the Raiders schedule and a realistic point of view (from a rabid fan) of how they will do this year.
Week 1: Sunday, Sept. 7, at NY Jets, 1 p.m. W/L
Playing on the East Coast has been a huge problem for the Raiders and last year they got trounced by the Jets. I know, I was there. But depending on whether or not they let Vick start will dictate this game. Geno=Win, Vick=Loss.
Week 2: Sunday, Sept. 14, Houston, 4:25 p.m. W
Since we now have Houston’s QB and this will be our home opener I think we win this one. Hard to pick a team to win that has a new coach and no QB so far.
Week 3: Sunday, Sept. 21, at New England, 1 p.m. L
They’re still the Patriots? Ok, Loss.
Week 4: Sunday, Sept. 28, Miami, 1 p.m. (in London) W
This is a tough won to predict since it’s over in London, but I think they are just a better team than the Dolphins so I am predicting win in foggy London town (wow that was gay)
Week 5: BYE W

Week 6: Sunday, Oct. 12, San Diego, 4:05 p.m.
W
Since the Raiders have a bye I always will bet on the team that has the rest. I have no clue if the Chargers also have a Bye and I refuse to look it up until after I post this.
Week 7: Sunday, Oct. 19, Arizona, 4:25 p.m. W
I think to start the season the Cardinals are the better team. However I don’t think Carson and crew can keep it up this year especially not til Week 7.
Week 8: Sunday, Oct. 26, at Cleveland, 4:25 p.m. W
Because Fuck Ken that’s why.
Week 9: Sunday, Nov. 2, at Seattle, 4:25 p.m.
L
They are still the Seahawks and it’s in Seattle. No reason for the Raiders to even show up.
Week 10: Sunday, Nov. 9, Denver, 4:05 p.m. L
I think Peyton will play worse than last year but not by much. That D is now really nasty.
Week 11: Sunday, Nov. 16, at San Diego, 4:05 p.m. L
I think it’s realistic to think we can split with San Diego, especially since they always play better 2nd half of the year.
Week 12: Thursday, Nov. 20, Kansas City, 8:25 p.m. W
Our only Primetime game is at home and I think we will show up big for this. It’s a short week though so I could be wrong.
Week 13: Sunday, Nov. 30, at St. Louis, 1 p.m. W
There is a good chance Bradford will be hurt come this time of the year and it’s a 10 day rest for the Raiders.
Week 14: Sunday, Dec. 7, San Francisco, 4:25 p.m. L
This one could be ugly for Oakland but I’ll be watching for the stabbing reports coming from the stands.
Week 15: Sunday, Dec. 14, at Kansas City, 1 p.m. L
December game in KC won’t be good for the Raiders in the loudest stadium in history (maybe?)
Week 16: Sunday, Dec. 21, Buffalo, 4:25 p.m.
W
I think Buffalo will be a good team in a year or two, not sure if EJ can be a good starting QB or not. The snow will not help anything though, gonna need healthy RBs.
Week 17: Sunday, Dec. 28, at Denver, 4:25 p.m. L
Last game of the year, in Denver, most likely facing Brock Osweiler and I still don’t see the Raiders beating Denver.

Well that was fun, for a quick tally I am predicting 8/9 wins. Is that completely unrealistic? Fuck you, that’s my answer. Raider Nation..Staying retardedly optimistic since 2002.

-Jesse