Posts Tagged ‘playoffs’


Love how they gave you you the “Billy” reminder to jump start your memory when you were trying to figure out why the hell there was an old wrinkled Jew on your TV screen NOT named Donald Sterling while you were watching a Clippers game.

Almost makes me wish I still had a VCR so I could fire up City Slickers. But sadly I threw my VCR away because City Slickers was the fucking movie that melted inside of it and ruined it.

Everyone has a VCR ruining movie and even if you at one time loved it you now hate it because it’s the reason why your $200 VCR is sitting on top of your trash can with 4 miles of tape spilling out of the front flap. Clerks ruined another VCR of mine, and to make matters worse it was a rented copy from Blockbuster so I had to buy them a new one. Fuck old technology. It took up too much space and cost me a fortune.


-please visit my eBay page, I’m selling my X Files complete series VHS set. If you don’t want to watch them then they can be stacked up and used as furniture.

Happy 29th today to Chris (and Cliff) Paul. Chris threw himself a nice party last night on the court catching fire and going 8 for 9 from long distance. And make sure you watch the video and check out these shots. They’re middle of the bucket cannon balls. A few are so center cut the net barely moves. Would have really liked to see him keep shooting even after he missed his first three ball in 9 attempts. He had another 5 for 7 in him I think.

I’m not really sure where this series is headed. I honestly did not see the Clippers rolling in and destroying OKC like that. Sure the Thunder had another hard series against the Grizzlies but game 7 was a blow out so they shouldn’t be that tired. And besides, the Clippers HAVE to be gassed after everything that’s happened to them in the last 2 weeks with Sterling and their 7 game series against the Warriors. So that means there must be matchup problems somewhere for the Thunder. Westbrook usually plays pretty well against Paul and Chris usually doesn’t hit 8 threes in a night either so I’m saying this is a stolen game by a superstar. Griffin will win a game, and so will Durant and Westbrook. So that evens the series at 2 apiece. Where do the other 2 wins come from? I feel like Griffin will literally fight his way to a narrow win outside of his massive double-double stolen win or JJ drains a 3 at the buzzer. I feel like Rivers is the better coach in the series so maybe another win swings their way. Never thought I’d talk myself into thinking the Clippers make it to the Western Conference finals.


For me personally, Kevin Hart is one of the top 3 stand ups out right now. His last 3 specials have literally killed and raked in the cash just like his movies that all open at #1 in the box office. But he is falling into that ‘too much exposure’ trap that a lot of people get sucked into. I completely understand getting your money while you can but you also don’t want people to get sick of you. He is fucking hilarious on stage and his movies are ok, his 2 minutes in 40 Year Old Virgin were probably his best, but all these little bits and appearances he does aren’t really good. He pops in and out of MTV Award shows like he owes them gambling money and he is forced to be there and now this commercial, it’s too much.


Ooooops. Don’t know how this game is going to end but if you blow a 20 point lead and then get the ball stolen for an easy layup to tie it with 4 seconds left then you deserve to lose every time. Just not sure the Thunder have enough sense to stop shooting themselves out of this game.


Update: Grizzlies win by a split second. Not like Prince was fouling or anything though….

All ball man! All ball.

Ray Allen has this shot off with 3 seconds to spare

Ducks coach Bruce Boudreau seen here celebrating after center Nick Bonino nets the OT series winner

To be honest, I turned the game off with 4 minutes left and said, “This game is over, Dallas did what they needed to do. Get it to 7.”
Then of course and hour later when I was laying in bed looking at my phone instead of sleeping like usual I noticed they lost in OT. Brutal way to end the season.
But the most annoying part is that I turned it off right before it happened! What the hell is wrong with me?! I KNOW the last 2 minutes in a playoff NHL game are the best thing on TV any given night. ESPECIALLY if it’s a 1 or 2 goal game. ESPECIALLY if it’s a potential closeout game. Goddammit what’s wrong with me?! I watched most of the game up to that point just to see the Stars grind it out and save their season for one more game. And then I blew it all for what? Cause I had to piss and figured I might as well go to bed anyway?! Bullshit! Completely inexcusable. I’m that stupid asshole walking out of game 6 in the NBA Finals last year trying to beat traffic and talking about how we just didn’t have enough this year. Except it’s WORSE because I’m in my own stupid house with zero traffic and no lines in the toilet! Dumb dumb dumb. Just dumb.

-Dummy Ken Dumb Head

I submit exhibit ‘A’ to the court: This photo was taken March 10th, 2014 after an NBA game in which LeBron played.

And now Exhibit ‘B’: This photo was taken April 23rd following another NBA game. Looks like someone got a fresh coat of paint.

Actually I can’t tell if it’s a case of canned hair or a moving hairline. Could be shaping it higher to counteract the recession but it seems like it’d have to be a little higher.
Look, LeBron and I don’t have a lot in common other than our horrible fashion sense (I’m currently wearing a 2007 Cavs Eastern Conference Champions T-Shirt for about the 4th day in a row, 1 day of which I mowed the lawn and gym shorts from high school. And when I go to the store later I’m not even going to consider changing) and our horrible hairlines. He choose another team over mine. It hurt. He then has won multiple championships. That hurts too. I’m really trying to find a way to identify with him and like him. I feel like being honest about his impending baldness would make him a lot more likable. For EVERYONE. Just shave it bald and be proud! Then put on a Yankees hat. Hats have been the only acceptable way to hide baldness since our monkey ancestors ripped out all their hair digging for ticks and then dunked their head in a pile of elephant shit to cover it up. I wear a hat, and when I put it on I immediately become 10 years younger and look slightly less menacing and perverted. Even somewhat approachable. If I could wear a hat to job interviews I’d be the most employed person you’ve ever met.


ESPN- LaMarr Woodley, one of several high-profile free agents signed by the Oakland Raiders this offseason, believes his new team will end its 11-year postseason drought. “I can definitely see [the Raiders] as a playoff team,” Woodley said Tuesday during a radio interview with 95.7 The Game. “Last year, going back and watching some film on the Raiders, there were a lot of opportunities here where they just didn’t close it out.” The Raiders went 4-12 in 2013, their 11th consecutive season without a winning record. Oakland has not reached the postseason since appearing in Super Bowl XXXVII following the 2002 season. “Some games good in the first half, they just didn’t close it out at the end of the game,” the pass-rusher told 95.7 The Game. “So now we just have to learn how to close out games, and it’ll be more wins than losses.” Tuck, who won two Super Bowls during his nine-year stint with the New York Giants, also is excited about potentially reviving the Raiders. “A lot of people always say you go to Oakland for your career to die,” Tuck said. “I’m not looking at it like that. I’m looking at it like this is an opportunity to revive a storied franchise in a city with a great fan base behind this football team. The energy and excitement around this football team should be good. I’m excited about it.”

Am I excited about this upcoming season for the Raiders? Yes as I am every year. Does that optimism disappear right after the opening kick off of week one? Without a doubt. I love that the new vet FAs that Reggie brought it are all gung-ho about being a better team and making the playoffs but saying it ‘definitely’ will happen is like saying I will ‘definitely’ get laid tonight and I ‘definitely’ will last longer than 3 minutes. Hope for the best, expect the worst. There is a reason these vets didn’t get signed by other teams and I hope they can put it together but who knows what will happen when the season comes. And I can speak for Raider Nation when I say “Stop predicting things will happen and just win 5 games” That is all we ask for at this point, just win more than 4 fucking games and give me a reason to NOT kill myself come October.

Schedule release happens tonight at 8pm if you didn’t know.