Posts Tagged ‘pornhub’

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Broward Times- A Florida gay marriage case — known in the federal court system as James Domer Brenner et al., v. Rick Scott, which challenges Florida’s refusal to recognize gay marriages that are performed legally elsewhere (Brenner and his partner married in Canada) — is sure to be one of the landmark court decisions to grind through the sunshine state. But at least one person is elbowing in to make his own point. Enter Chris Sevier, “a former Judge Advocate and combat veteran” who filed a motion to intervene on the Florida gay marriage case on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups.” In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.” Which is? “My porn filled Apple computer,” according to Sevier’s filing.
</strong>Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.
Short on sound legal grounding (and even shorter on wit), Sevier’s filing is obviously an attempt to punk the legal system because he doesn’t agree with gay marriage (as he says in the filing, “sexual orientation” never existed as a classification until President Obama came along to advance his “social agenda to make America a ‘gay nation.'”

Look at this fucking guy. Say all you want that he is trying to ‘punk’ the system when really he is just doing what every guys wants, committing himself to a high tech piece of machinery that gives him endless amounts of orgasms. Women are still out there if he wants to get laid but who doesn’t want to be married to your computer? It gives you literally everything you want. Hungry? Order pizza online. Horny? Pornhub.com. Clothes? Bills? Whatever, everything can and is done online. The computer isn’t going to bitch at him to pick up his underwear or to clean out the gutters. It’ll help him find a maid and a Latino to clean his roof. This is on you Rick Scott, you can’t deny true love.

-Jesse

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PornHub Helping Out On Valentine's Day

Normally 5 free views, today it’s unlimited! Enjoy your 10 hour jerk off session. I recommend normal teen stuff, BJ, POV, Threesome, Gangbang, Party, then end with Bukakke and just hate yourself for hours after

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Here it is folks, this IS NOT the trailer, this is the actual sex tape of Teen Mom taking it back door (you all know what I mean). Enjoy you sick bastards

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=93990726

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ZAP2It- Farrah Abraham is releasing another sex tape. The former “Teen Mom” and “Couples Therapy” star stars in “Farrah 2: Backdoor and More,” the sequel to Abraham’s first adult video, “Backdoor Teen Mom,” with porn star James Deen. According to Radar, Vivid Entertainment plans to release the sequel on Feb. 13. Vivid apparently has more footage from the original sex-tape shoot, but Radar quotes a representative of the company as saying, “What we are releasing next week is a completely different movie.” Abraham has recently claimed to be done with the adult-film industry, saying her sex tape ruined her life. Since the original video release, the reality star has also said she was “drugged and raped” more than once while being a part of the hard-partying adult entertainment industry. Will Abraham claim that this second video is a personal sex tape, as she did with the first one? Or is the sequel an acknowledgement of intended work? Whether we want it or not, an answer is coming soon in a porn film.

Someone needs to tell this bitch to just shut up and be a porn star. Her first taste of fame was being a slutty 16 year old with a kid. Then her second was being a super whore and taking 15 minutes of anal on camera and showing the world. Now her third will be even more(??) than the first tape. I’m no scientist but I’m pretty sure those are the proper steps you take when you become a porno chick. Once you have been fucked on camera and made a good deal of money for it, why stop? Add in the fact that she is basically retarded and I don’t see the down side. It’s not like she is going back to school and will cure cancer. Just take the cards you were dealt (a nice body with fake tits and an asshole that can take a lot of punishment) and try to become the best out there.
And what kind of asshole bites the hand that feeds her? Her sex tape ruined her life? No I’m pretty sure that 100k saved you from working at Micky D’s sweetheart. And ‘getting drugged and raped’ is called doing drugs and having sex. Grow up Count Chocula
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PS Really want to see what ‘Backdoor and More’ means because that bitch took it all and then some in the first tape.
PPS Here is the link to Farrah Abraham’s first tape, “Backdoor Teen Mom”
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=396317996

-Doc

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It has been brought to my attention that the PornHub link no longer works, so here is a new link for the full video of the number one sex tape in America

 

http://www.xatwork.com/video/GirlsDoPorn_KristyAlthaus

Call the game due to an outright massacre. If you are planning to make a Twitter account ever after reading this, just know you won’t be the best. Place all the blame on the fucking weird serial killers who comment on Pornos and the geniuses who put their comments with stock photos. The Twitter account is @PornComnents. Here are some of their posts, not even the best ones, just random ones. That’s how incredible this shit is..Also I fear for my life because these people are real.

I was so lost before the translation

I was so lost before the translation

#1 thing on the 'win the lottery' bucket list

#1 thing on the ‘win the lottery’ bucket list

Always assume ninja turtles will show up in porn

Always assume ninja turtles will show up in porn

Horny dog

Horny dog

Tampy strings are gross

Tampy strings are gross

Feet porn is weird

Feet porn is weird

Porn grammar police

Porn grammar police

Classy as shit

Classy as shit

Super creepy

Super creepy

Fat shaming porn guys

Fat shaming porn guys

Jews..

Jews..

Fat chicks make shit believable

Fat chicks make shit believable

Nippie city

Nippie city

Queef debate

Queef debate

-Jesse

Galaxy Round, could be the new S5

Galaxy Round, could be the new S5


CNN- Samsung’s Galaxy S5, the next generation of its flagship smartphone, will be released by April and may include innovative eye-scanning technology. An executive for the Korean tech giant confirmed to Bloomberg that the phone will hit stores this year on roughly the same time table as previous iterations of the device, which has emerged as the chief rival to Apple’s iPhone. The new phone is expected to look different from Samsung’s popular Galaxy S4, shown here. “We’ve been announcing our first flagship model in the first half of each year, around March and April, and we are still targeting for release around that time,” Lee said. “When we release our S5 device, you can also expect a Gear successor with more advanced functions, and the bulky design will also be improved.” In November, Samsung released the Galaxy Round, with a curved, 5.7-inch screen. That release was only in South Korea, and analysts have speculated the company isn’t done with curved-screen technology on its phones. At CES this week, Samsung rolled out a massive, 105-inch television with a curved screen.

This is pretty good news for someone that doesn’t have an iPhone. I used to have one, really enjoyed it, but I like the ability to change my shit up every once in awhile on my home screen. That is basically the only reason I like the Galaxy more than the iPhone. And the screen size. Otherwise it freezes up constantly due to the apps I have to help the battery life, which sucks monkey dick, and it gets really hot. Last part sounds weird but can be annoying. The idea to have a curved screen phone is really fucking cool though and I will gladly re-up with poor person Sprint if I can get it and also have iris reading technology. Then I can freely look at Asian gaping anal porn without having to use an incognito tab and my wife won’t know. Find that category on PornHub, you won’t be the same.
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Oh and a 105inch screen TV are you fucking kidding me? I want to go to there.
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-Jesse