Posts Tagged ‘press conference’

20140310-235419.jpg
I submit exhibit ‘A’ to the court: This photo was taken March 10th, 2014 after an NBA game in which LeBron played.

And now Exhibit ‘B’: This photo was taken April 23rd following another NBA game. Looks like someone got a fresh coat of paint.

Actually I can’t tell if it’s a case of canned hair or a moving hairline. Could be shaping it higher to counteract the recession but it seems like it’d have to be a little higher.
Look, LeBron and I don’t have a lot in common other than our horrible fashion sense (I’m currently wearing a 2007 Cavs Eastern Conference Champions T-Shirt for about the 4th day in a row, 1 day of which I mowed the lawn and gym shorts from high school. And when I go to the store later I’m not even going to consider changing) and our horrible hairlines. He choose another team over mine. It hurt. He then has won multiple championships. That hurts too. I’m really trying to find a way to identify with him and like him. I feel like being honest about his impending baldness would make him a lot more likable. For EVERYONE. Just shave it bald and be proud! Then put on a Yankees hat. Hats have been the only acceptable way to hide baldness since our monkey ancestors ripped out all their hair digging for ticks and then dunked their head in a pile of elephant shit to cover it up. I wear a hat, and when I put it on I immediately become 10 years younger and look slightly less menacing and perverted. Even somewhat approachable. If I could wear a hat to job interviews I’d be the most employed person you’ve ever met.

-Ken

Advertisements

2

As Live as I can make it..

Really awkward intros of the people on the dias, especially since they were naming amazing Yankee catchers and it’s clear Girardi wasn’t going to be named except he’s the fucking manager. Everyone keeps making “insider” comments about being a catcher i.e. ‘sitting behind the dish’ ‘building up the middle’ ‘squatting with balls in the dirt’ (I may have made one up)

Brian Cashman talks a little then gives McCann’s wife some flowers and onsies..pretty much a power move telling McCann he hit that. The hug/kiss was a little too comfy

Girardi looks hungover

McCann will wear #34, I don’t know why but I’ve always liked that number, probably because of Bo Jackson

McCann appears to have no hair on his entire head, looking into whether he has some form of cancer or not..

No cancer, thanks google

Always nice to see a good, hardworking white guy get signed and then actually appear to be happy to be on a new team. He will do well here and he knows it. Long line of Yankee greats were catchers, not saying he will be one, but after losing out on Russell Martin to Pittsburg we need someone solid behind the “dish”

McCann “I’m a huge fan of Derek Jeter”.. that’s right, kiss the ring new guy

This is getting boring, same questions over and over. Hopefully the Ellsbury one will be better since the Sox just won a ring. Later faggots