Posts Tagged ‘raiders’

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To the man who has saved Raider Nation.

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To the man who is equal parts Tebow in his humility and love of God, and Aaron Rodgers in his gun-slinging, brass balls, rocket fueled arm.

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To the man who has a bro-mance with Khalil Mack that an out of shape, awkward white guy can only dream of.

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To the man who made sales of guy liner go through the fucking roof (still researching the stats on that one). Happy Birthday. Heal up my friend, we have a big year ahead of us!


PS If my next child is a boy his middle name will be Derek. Half because of Jeter, half because of Carr.





ESPN: Raiders to Vegas

So the day of reckoning has finally happened and my Oakland Raiders have finally made it official. I have extremely mixed emotions about this because I grew up in Buffalo and Florida. I’ve never been to Oakland, or even west of the Mississippi, but I love the Raiders with all that is in my soul. Being 29 I first grew to love them as the LA Raiders. Didn’t know or care what Oakland was. It was Jeff Hostetler and Tim Brown and little Jesse rooting on team after team coming in at .500 or below. Then they moved back to Oak-town. And honestly I was a little pissed. Sure I was striking out in t-ball at the time so I had major issues, but I didn’t like change. It didn’t seem cool to leave flashy, fancy, “Laker” LA and move to crumby Oakland. Shit just reading that it still doesn’t. But I grew to love the gritty, crazy, fucked up world that was the little brother to big, bad San Fran. Now that I am older, grayer, fatter and raising a family, I never really thought the Mark “the Hairdo” Davis would have the sack (or money) to pull the trigger and I’d be watching OAK on tv for the rest of my days still bragging about the 3 rings we won before I was born.


Jump to present day and I am a part of the Las Vegas Raiders Nation. Even though it’s the same team, the same coach, the same GM, they will never be the same. They won’t win on a shitty field covered in dirt. There won’t be gang fights in the parking lot, generally between two Raider fans. They just won’t seem as tough and that’s what I will miss the most. Even going 2-14 year after year, they at least seemed tough being in Oakland. So Good bye Black Hole. Hello Black Hole, the stripper that will be on stage at every club on the strip come football season 2020.  But along with a shiny new stadium comes the Super Bowl, Pro Bowls, big ticket boxing matches and UFC fights, WWE events. All things that never happened in O.Co. And the inevitability of the Fertitta brothers and Dana White buying the team a year or two after the stadium is built.

Oh well.

Let’s just see if the city will allow them to play until the lease options are over. Word on the street is they want the whole crew the fuck out of dodge asap. That will add a very interesting wrinkle into this already fucking crazy story line. Until next time children.




Not going to lie, I didn’t watch one second of this clip. I don’t have any time to watch because I’m simultaneously listening to Howard and Louis CK, doing mock drafts, and checking out naked chicks at the same time. All I know or care about Teddy Bridewater is that he drops out of the first round, ends up going to the Raiders in the early 2nd round, and becomes our QB of the future. Once he gets passed all the teams that desperately need a QB (1-7 basically) then he can drop all the way down to number 37 and take that pink Caddy straight to the Bay Area. He may suffer from Brady Quinn syndrome and look like a #1 but perform like a 7th rounder but I don’t think so (hope so).
PS I watched his Gruden QB Camp and he may be the most polite person outside of Tim Tebow on the planet.
PSS He looks a little gay, right? Right?
As a Gator fan I still love this picture

ESPN- LaMarr Woodley, one of several high-profile free agents signed by the Oakland Raiders this offseason, believes his new team will end its 11-year postseason drought. “I can definitely see [the Raiders] as a playoff team,” Woodley said Tuesday during a radio interview with 95.7 The Game. “Last year, going back and watching some film on the Raiders, there were a lot of opportunities here where they just didn’t close it out.” The Raiders went 4-12 in 2013, their 11th consecutive season without a winning record. Oakland has not reached the postseason since appearing in Super Bowl XXXVII following the 2002 season. “Some games good in the first half, they just didn’t close it out at the end of the game,” the pass-rusher told 95.7 The Game. “So now we just have to learn how to close out games, and it’ll be more wins than losses.” Tuck, who won two Super Bowls during his nine-year stint with the New York Giants, also is excited about potentially reviving the Raiders. “A lot of people always say you go to Oakland for your career to die,” Tuck said. “I’m not looking at it like that. I’m looking at it like this is an opportunity to revive a storied franchise in a city with a great fan base behind this football team. The energy and excitement around this football team should be good. I’m excited about it.”

Am I excited about this upcoming season for the Raiders? Yes as I am every year. Does that optimism disappear right after the opening kick off of week one? Without a doubt. I love that the new vet FAs that Reggie brought it are all gung-ho about being a better team and making the playoffs but saying it ‘definitely’ will happen is like saying I will ‘definitely’ get laid tonight and I ‘definitely’ will last longer than 3 minutes. Hope for the best, expect the worst. There is a reason these vets didn’t get signed by other teams and I hope they can put it together but who knows what will happen when the season comes. And I can speak for Raider Nation when I say “Stop predicting things will happen and just win 5 games” That is all we ask for at this point, just win more than 4 fucking games and give me a reason to NOT kill myself come October.

Schedule release happens tonight at 8pm if you didn’t know.


$100 says this was incomplete

$100 says this was incomplete

Sporting News- The idea that quarterback Terrelle Pryor’s days in Oakland were numbered was something of a foregone conclusion by late last month. The question was when a move would be made, not if. The Raiders made that move on Monday night. Though Pryor would seemingly be happy to be out of Oakland, where offseason acquisition Matt Schaub is set to become the starting quarterback, he’ll be no more than a backup to Russell Wilson in Seattle. Pryor had indicated that he wanted to be cut or traded so that he could have a shot at starting somewhere else — which obviously won’t be happening with the defending Super Bowl champion Seahawks.

Not surprised at all that he is gone but it really does suck for a few different reasons. One is that he could be a Pro Bowl receiving TE or WR if he just forgot about being a QB and spent an offseason running routes. He is 6’6 and runs a 4.3 with hands the size of man hole covers (that’s the classic line, right?). He is built to be a WR but in a world where everyone wants to be a QB, he can have fun backing up someone that is 5’4″. Secondly it’s weird thinking that Al Davis’ last draft pick is out of the building. Not saying he doesn’t have other picks still around (Janikowski, Woodson, etc.) but Pryor was really everything that ol’ crazy Al looked for in a draft pick. Super human athletic freak, zero on field production. Finally just thinking about running a goal line read option with Pryor, McFadden and MJD is cum worthy. Of course if they are all hurt that doesn’t do shit so have fun winning rings in Seattle.

Al Davis Logic
Top 10 pick for a guy that can run a 3.5 but is blind? Draft them ASAP. Tall, somewhat mobile and has a cannon? Yes. But Al he can’t read! That’s fine, take him #1!

RIP Al Davis

Extra PS In a draft this deep I will gladly take a 7th rounder. The Raiders need help in every way so depth is never a bad thing.


Normally I do a little post about two people, some pictures, then honorable mentions. NOT TODAY. On July 4th the year before, all of these people’s parents were raw dogging their way into creating the best and brightest in Hollywood history. Funny, dramatic, handsome, beautiful, the whole gambit. So thank you America for being so god damn amazing people had to celebrate by having unprotected sex, most likely doggy style.
Marlon Brando
Adam Scott
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Eddie Murphy
Italians after Rocky came out-
Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor-
Drunk Dad at a BBQ-
Alec Baldwin
Glengarry Speech-
Some 30 Rock moments-
The Departed-
Aries Spears
aries spears
ESPN Impressions-
Amanda Bynes
David Hyde Pearce
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Tony Orlando
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Wayne Newton
Lyle Alzado
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Jared Allen
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Paris Jackson (I wonder who her real dad is because Michael Jackson you are NOT the father)
paris jackson
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Deadspin- In the worlds of both sports and television, the NFL is a behemoth. But is there something uniquely and grossly profitable about pro football that it can continue to grow indefinitely, or has it hit its ceiling? Mavericks owner Mark Cuban thinks the end is nigh. Speaking to reporters ahead of last night’s Mavs game, Cuban predicted the bursting of the NFL bubble within the next decade, hastened by a recent cash grab that may overexpose the product. “I think the NFL is 10 years away from an implosion,” Cuban said. “When pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. And they’re getting hoggy. When you try to take it too far, people turn the other way. I’m just telling you, when you got a good thing and you get greedy, it always, always, always, always, always turns against you.” Cuban is referring specifically to the NFL’s new TV deal with CBS, which will bring in hundreds of millions a year for the right to broadcast half the league’s Thursday games, and see the return of at least two Saturday games a year. Cuban believes the league is overextending itself, and overestimating the public’s appetite for week-round football.

Most people will hate to hear it, but Mark Cuban is spot on. The guy knows a thing or two about a thing or two when it comes to raking in the cash. He streamed college basketball games online and made a fucking mint. The Mavs were a fucking joke and now they are the 5th most valuable basketball team thanks to his business expertise. So trust him when he says having football on all the time is going to one day just be too much for the viewers and the NFL will end up losing money. The trend really starts with people not going to as many games due to the high cost and dealing with the bullshit traffic in and out of the stadium. So unless you are the Packers and people think they own the team (wink wink) or Seattle and there is nothing to do there other than cry and drink coffee, you aren’t selling out a stadium. Add to the fact that you make football something you have the chance to watch almost everyday during the week, people won’t HAVE to watch. Make something unavailable and they want it. When you are single no chick wants the dick. When you have a girlfriend for 45 seconds every model in the world thinks your hairline is amazing and your beer belly is sexy. So NFL listen up, Mark Cuban and myself have a plan..
Games only on Monday and Sunday.
Lower the ticket prices or the beer prices. Either one will cause people to cum in happiness but both would be too much.
Offer speedlanes to leave the stadium for an extra cost kinda like the Speedpass at Universal or Disney.
Make the Raiders the Super Bowl champs or their fans will murder you.

Easy peasy, Japanesey.