Posts Tagged ‘suspension’

” Great party! Is your friend Herb gonna be here?”

Play this video while reading the article for full effect:

The Sports Xchange- Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon faces a season-long suspension for a positive marijuana test, his second violation of the NFL policy, according to an ESPN “Outside the Lines” report Friday.
Gordon told the network he was unaware of the report and directed all questions to Drew Rosenhaus, who said the information was not true.

Gordon, 23, is the top playmaker on the roster. The Browns passed on two wide receivers in the top 10 of the 2014 NFL Draft on Thursday, dealing their initial pick to the Buffalo Bills, who drafted Clemson’s Sammy Watkins.
Gordon was suspended last season without pay for two games, but returned to catch 87 passes for 1,646 yards, including back-to-back 200-yard games in 14 regular-season games.



This is why I was so excited last night. It’s the reason I went to bed with a stupid shit eating grin tattooed across my face and woke up with the most solid morning wood of my entire life. I had what Browns fans NEVER have. A perfect nights sleep. Woke up in the same position as I fell asleep in, but no limbs were numb and stinging me. Didn’t have to piss in the middle of the night. The temperature under the covers were comfortably nestled somewhere between a mothers womb and the guts of a sliced open tauntaun. Heaven. I even started off my day right. Watched ESPN and listened to The Really Big Show all morning basking in the glory and enjoying those shit heads in Connecticut being forced to admit that the Browns had a good first round. Even their digs and jabs didn’t phase me today. Watched the Johnny Football Press conference. Laughed and giggled. Held back tears. But knowing deep down in the pit of my stomach that the floor was about to drop out from beneath me. Didn’t know what exactly. Just knew there was a shit storm brewing and if I wanted to get out of the way I should’ve started running last week. Cleveland CAN”T fly this high. Not enough air up there for the entire city to suck down all at once. Plus we all took off so fast we forgot to pack parachutes. When we come down, we come down HARD. Then about 6:15 my phone exploded with texts while I was reading Goodnight Moon to my son and even without looking at the screen I knew it had happened. Each vibration in my pocket felt like another knife jab into my heart. Reality had caught wind of our escape and had quickly closed in on us like a pack of wild dogs. We all scrambled for cover, clinging on to whatever hope we had. “Rosenhouse said it’s not true!” “Browns would have drafted a WR if they knew!” “Gordon said he would change!!!”

So here we are with as far as I’m concerned a TE being our number one and plenty of good WRs left in the draft and we get a lineman. I understand we need to protect Johnny and should probably only draft linemen for the next 5 rounds but we suddenly have a glaring need on the outside. There will come a time when Manziel does need to throw the football and it’d be nice if his targets had better hands than an oak tree.

On the bright side, we will have the greatest offensive line ever assembled in the history of the world. Farmer did say the league is changing. Let’s hope that means every play is a QB sneak behind 10 guards.


I Will Haunt You…


Wow! December just flew by, huh? We were posting hard for a while and then nothing. To be honest, December was one of the more depressing sports months I for me that I can remember in a long time. I’ve been advised from going into full detail about all of the heartbreak and misery that was Cleveland sports this December because it may cause me to experience my first of (hopefully) many heart attacks and strokes that will brought on by these teams. But because I can’t help myself and am apparently some sort of masochist, I will give a brief run down:

The Browns played 5 goddamn games in December and lost every single one of them in some horrific way. Had a lead against the Jaguars with 2 minutes left. Jaguars QB Peyton Brady drives down the field and rips our heart out. Haden is exposed as not being all that. Next week we lose to the Patriots on a couple bullshit PI calls and an on sides kick. Had the lead for like 58 minutes of the game. Kill me. Then the last 3 games are a blur because who gives a shit. They got thoroughly throttled by the Steelers in the last game just to make sure that if you had a nice Christmas, enjoyed seeing family and not being at work, that all went out the window  and you were back to hating your life again. On a personal note, I also blew out my knee that day.

The Cavs completely fell apart this month. Waiters hates everyone and mostly Kyrie. Bynum just wants out and has been suspended. Mike Brown still doesn’t know what an offense is, and the team lost like 47 games in OT and last second shots. (Not exaggerating)  

 The Winter Meetings were this month and the Indians didn’t do a damn thing, except lose a couple key pitchers so you know, no big deal. We only won 92 games and got bounced in a lame 1 game playoff so no reason to try and get better and make a push to win a playoff series or god forbid, the World Series.

Plus every time I turned on the TV on a non-sports night I was seeing garbage shows like” Marty Shottenheimer’s Failures as a Coach”[1], and “Jim Tressel Pisses Everything Away at Ohio State”[2], and MLB Network randomly throwing in Game 7 of the 1997 World Series[3] while interviewing the Marlins starting pitcher Al “Old as Shit” Leiter just to rub it in even worse. It’s getting to the point where you can’t even turn on the TV anymore without being constantly reminded about all of the sport failures your city has endured over the years.

So here’s to leaving all of that mess behind and making this year tolerable as Cleveland fans. It won’t be any worse this year I guarantee you that. It literally can’t be.





[1] A Football Life: Marty Shottenheimer

[2] ESPN 30 for 30: Youngstown Boys

[3] MLB Network: Greatest Games-Fuck Cleveland Edition