Posts Tagged ‘the rock’

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ESPN- Shawne Merriman is going from the football field to the wrestling ring. The NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year in 2005, Merriman has joined World Wrestling Enterainment, according to a report by SB Nation’s Testudo Times Blog. It’s unclear what role Merriman will have with the WWE, the report said. But WrestleChat.net said Merriman will be an announcer while training to be a wrestler. Merriman was part of the Wrestlemania pre-show on WWE Network last weekend. Merriman was limited to 18 games over his final three seasons. And he finished with 45.5 career sacks in 75 games, including 59 starts. Merriman also made headlines for his off-the-field troubles. In 2006, he was suspended by the NFL for four games after testing positive for steroids. He blamed the positive test on a tainted supplement, which he never identified. Despite being limited to playing 12 games, Merriman finished with a career-best 17 sacks that season. In 2009, Merriman was arrested just before the season after reality television star Tila Tequila accused him of battery and false imprisonment at his suburban San Diego home. No charges were filed, and Merriman and Tequila settled dueling lawsuits.

If there were ever a football player that was made to transition to the WWE it’s Merriman (Jared Allen is the obvious number 2). He is big on showmanship, loves steroids, and isn’t opposed to smacking a bitch around. Some guys leave the NFL after injuries and/or standard productivity decline and join a real estate firm or car dealership but not Lights Out, he knows where the money is and where he can get as insanely juiced as possible without anyone batting an eye. Can’t wait to see a Lights Out/Brock Lesnar/Batista three way match for the King of the Syringe and a chance at the title!

PS And Brandon Spikes, just remember this moment because Merriman thought going to Buffalo would reignite his career too after he left a successful team. The Spike would be a sweet nickname considering your last name and that huge dick you have (I’ve seen his porno, calm down people)
-Jesse

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Here is the Rock, Dwayne Johnson, as Hercules. This is the first trailer he just released on Twitter

More like a teaser trailer but I like it. Hopefully a lot of action, him killing large freaky things with a sword and/or club, and maybe a naked chick or two. Who knows

-Jesse

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This guy is a fucking freak. Sure it’s all HGH and the best juice known to man, but there are definitely genetics at play here too. Just hope I never have to choose between “Fight the Rock or we will kill your family” because I will really miss my family when they’re dead.
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-Jesse

To back up my Royal Rumble post about a bunch of dudes, here is a still from “The Rock vs. John Cena” on Netflix, showing the hottest fan of WWE, ESPN’s own, Michelle “The Beades” Beadle

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-Jesse

Most of the shit you see on Twitter is normal ‘just pooped’ or some really gay quotes or porn stars, but the things people say to celebrities are fucking nuts

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Is this horny bitch still in the house?

-Jesse

This has happened many times in Hollywood. Two companies are putting out the same story in slightly different ways around the same time. In this case it’s Hercules. I, like many other guys, love these movies where there is a shit ton of fighting with swords, gore, and sexy naked gu..I mean ladies. But how in the fuck did Kellan Lutz’s manager (or cousin from 30 Rock) lutz
convince him this was a good idea? I have a feeling the conversation went like this.. Manager-Well Kellan they want you to be Hercules. You’re in really good shape, handsome, and we think this will be financially agreeable for both of us. KL- Why thank you. Please tell me more. MS- Judging from the trailer I just watched, we will basically film from the set of the Starz tv show Spartacus but with worse graphics, we are going to blatantly copy scenes from Immortals (which you were already in) with the electric whip thingy, you will use the voice from 300 when talking to your men with the same helmet on that Leonidis had, and we are going to have some undeserving noble guy who looks like Joaquin Phoenix without the lip thing, play his part from Gladiator and treat you the same way he treated Russell Crowe… KL- Well that sounds like everything has been cut and pasted from other successful movies and you’re just adding me into it…Manager- Since there is another version with the fucking ROCK coming out shortly after yours, we need to get this made asap. You in?…KL- Fuck it, I have to erase the Twilight memories from people’s heads somehow…

The guy is shredded, but nowhere near the Rock

The guy is shredded, but nowhere near the Rock

I don’t care who you are, if someone that looks like THIS is going to play the same role as you even within the same decade, you turn it the fuck down.

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-Jesse