If You’re a Jets Fan and Josh McCown Is Your Starting QB, Then Don’t You Legally Have to Kill Yourself?

I’m actually concerned for Jets fans here. I’m channeling my mindset as a Browns fan from the 2015 training camp, and the prospect of an aging, career journeyman backup, jesus freak with 700 kids, had me reaching for fistfuls of Ambien and vodka, BUT THAT WAS 2 YEARS AGO!! How could any team still be toying around with the idea of this guy being THE guy? 

I was devistated that he was our only/best option. Even as a long suffering fan who had been praying over my hope chest every night for some semblance of a quarterback, I knew that McCown was a career loser and with him at the helm of my dogshit team that we were likely to lose 35 games in a season. 

If you see your franchise with a shovel in a Browns dumpster digging around in some 2 year old garbage and they pull out a corpse and prop him up with a stick and sew a football to his hand then you are contractually obligated to kill the life out of your life’s life. 

This shouldn’t come as a big shock to any of you, I’m sure you were already considering it and were at least getting some of your affairs in order. But for sure, you need to do it soon before the season starts. 

-ken