UNC vs Gonzaga

 

Gotta start this off with all the information. I do not watch college basketball unless the Gators make the tournament and also make it to the Sweet Sixteen. So I have no clue what a “good game” should look like. But this game fucking sucks. UNC is awful shooting the ball. I’ve watched them miss 1 billion 3s. Gonzaga looks slightly better but also like they don’t really know what’s going on. Lot of fouls. Just a very ugly game. Maybe it’ll get better but I doubt it.

 “Baaaahhhh fucking kill me baahhhhh”

Also what the hell does a fucking ram have to do with a Tar Heel? Why can’t colleges get their shit together. Gators. Fighting Irish. Bulldogs. Cocks. Easy, simple names. The Tar Heels? Although a great hat when I was a kid, why do they also have a ram? Why not just be the rams from North Carolina? Or the tabacco field workers? Those sons of bitches are probably as tough as 10 rams…Also what I hate are the Stanford fucking trees, Auburn Tigers/War Eagles and Alabama Roll Tide aka Elephants. Can’t we just cut Alabama loose and call it a day?

 Ok she can stay.

This is my angry post because I’m sick and I hate everyone. Unless I win my bracket with a UNC win, then I only hate a few people.

 

Jesse

Transformers: Age of Extinction Has a New Trailer and it Rules

Marky Mark was the right choice for the lead in one of these movies. Has few acting skills, one facial expression, and is a tough guy. He is much more believable to fight robots that turn into cars than Shia LeBouf. Also pretty sure I came in my pants watching one robot ride another dragon robot through a city that is about to be destroyed. How many times can Michael Bay blow up a city by the way? Like these transformers have caused BILLIONS of dollars in damages and the time it would take to rebuild an entire metropolis is roughly 20 years? So is this movie 100 years after the first one? Now I’m confused, fuck.

-Jesse

Texas A&M Wants to Name Field “The House That Johnny Built”

Bleacher Report- Johnny Manziel has left College Station early and will now head to Cleveland as he hopes to leave his mark on the National Football League. The 2012 Heisman Trophy winner’s time at Texas A&M was so sensational that one Aggies official wants to rename Kyle Field—which was built in 1927—in honor of the quarterback. Texas A&M regent Jim Schwertner talked about what he would like to see happen to the stadium while the Aggies gave an update on the $450 million renovations going on at Kyle Field:

A&M regent Jim Schwertner above all thanked Johnny Manziel for getting the money raised for the Kyle redo in two months

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

A&M regent Jim Schwertner said he's dead serious about wanting Kyle named: Kyle Field: The House that Johnny Built.

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

I followed up with a question to regent Jim Schwertner asking if he was serious, just to make sure. He was.

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

Why A&M regent Jim Schwertner wants 'House that Johnny Built' added to Kyle Field name (Aggies Blog): http://t.co/0z7nwcmSkm

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

ESPN’s Darren Rovell reported last month, Manziel already filed to trademark “The House That Johnny Built.” Manziel put Texas A&M back on the college football map during his two seasons on campus. If one Aggies official has it his way, Johnny Football’s legacy will never be forgotten.

If there has ever been a move where people acted before thinking, this is it. I understand all the great things Johnny did on the field for the Aggies, and off the field with jersey sales. But the guy barely even left the stadium and you want to change the name? Come on people, use your heads. He didn’t win a championship, I don’t think he even won an SEC title. He was electrifying and fun to watch and fell to the 22nd pick in the draft. In about 10 years, maybe 15, no one is going to give a fuck about Johnny Football at A&M so naming the stadium “The House that Johnny Built” is only going to hammer home that he literally built the stadium with his jersey/ticket sales and he didn’t earn a penny of it. Bad idea. Maybe start with a food truck and then work your way up from there.
PS And if I am Johnny, I’m trademarking EVERYTHING with my name in it, including Johnny Depp’s name. Fuck him, he’s made enough, make it while you can still run around the football field before Suggs ruins your life mid November.
PSS Thank God the fucking Gators didn’t do this with Tebow’s name. There wouldn’t be a pebble in Gainesville without his likeness stamped on it.
-Jesse

Solange Knowles Beats Jay Z In an Elevator

http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_6lrpg6kh

WHERE IS THE AUDIO?? Holy shit this is fucking awesome. Everyone is giving Beyoncé shit for just standing there but that’s what a ride or die chick does. Jay doesn’t need her to throw hands and get her face all fucked up, he has a mountain of a man as a bodyguard to handle this type of shit. Also love how after the first kick he went in for a smack/punch/stab but then thought better of it. And why do celebrities fight in elevators? First Ray Rice now this. If this is a new trend you can expect me in a bad ass visor throwing down in the nearest Marriott.

-Jesse

JOHNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

Happiest I’ve been as a Browns fan in 12 years. That’s why it doesn’t matter if he buys a mountain of cocaine and ends up face down dead in a toilet tomorrow morning. I will go to bed a happy Browns fan tonight. Didn’t even think it was possible.

-Ken

LionsGate is Making a Live Action Power Rangers Movie, Here is My Dream Cast

Broadway World.com- Lionsgate (NYSE: LGF), a leading global entertainment company, and Saban Brands, a strategic brand management company that acquires and builds global consumer brands, are partnering to develop and produce an original live action feature film based on the iconic Power Rangers property, it was announced today by creator of Power Rangers Haim Saban and Lionsgate Chief Executive Officer Jon Feltheimer. The announcement marks another step in Lionsgate’s continued commitment to build a broad portfolio of Branded properties and franchises with global appeal. Saban launched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as a live action television series more than 20 years ago, and the series has been in continuous production ever since. It has subsequently grown into one of the world’s most popular and recognizable brands, with toys, apparel, costumes, video games, DVD’s, comic books and other merchandise.

If you are in your 20-30s the Power Rangers were a huge part of your childhood. Every Saturday morning you had the Ninja Turtles, Duck Tales, Power Rangers and then the Care Bears (anyone who says they didn’t watch the Care Bears to try and be a tough guy is a fucking poser. Everyone watched that shit). I had no clue they still made Power Rangers shows and shit but it makes sense, it’s literally a never ending stream of cool shit they can do and stories to tell. I mean look at these bad guys, you can just make up someone new each week without fear of repeating yourself

But depending on how cheesy or ‘dark’ they make the movie it could go very well or very bad. In ’95 they made one with the original cast and it made like 70 million which is roughly 3 billion dollars in today’s money. And I know every young star in Hollywood is going to fight for a part so here is my dream cast for the new Power Rangers movie. (most are in their 30s because who knows how old the characters are supposed to be, it’s my cast fuck off)
Red Ranger (the funny one)- Ryan Reynolds (let’s hope he doesn’t fuck up this one like he did the other Superhero movies. Last chance Ryan, last chance)
Black Ranger (ninja)- Taylor Lautner (Twilight kid, he did all kinds of ninja shit on SNL)
Blue Ranger (nerd)- Jake Gyllenhaal (still has that October Sky dorkiness but can juice up and kick ass)
Yellow Ranger (tough girl?)- Megan Fox (just imagine her being all bitchy dressed in that leather costume…)
Pink Ranger (the hot chick)- Kaley Cuoco (has to be a chick everyone in the world wants to fuck)
Green Ranger (powerful)- Tom Hardy (he’s the most powerful one in my book! haha..God I’m gay for Tom Hardy)

Well there it is, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Megan Fox, Kaley Cuoco, and Tom Hardy. If that doesn’t scream billion dollar movie then I don’t know what the fuck will. You’re welcome Hollywood, I’ll be expecting my check in the mail.

-Jesse

Jimmy Fallon, Zac Efron, and Seth Rogen on the Tonight Show

Sooooo Zac Efron is so good looking that dressed as a chick, I’d for sure hit that. Also it’s very upsetting that Seth said he saw his dick on the set of ‘Neighbors’ and it has a girthy root. Not one thing about my dick has ever been described as girthy, especially the root.

And Seth Rogen as a chick…I’ve tagged a few that looked identical to that. Ew.

-Jesse

Girl Fight Ends With Shovel to the Head Full Video and Vine

We’re late to the party because I couldn’t find a link for the whole video, YouTube took it down. So fuck it, here is the vine of Shovel Girl getting blasted with, you guessed it, a god damn shovel.

Instant update, here is the full video. Kinda boring until like 4:40. And that chick is now temporarily deaf in that ear (she did an interview with the Billy Madison Show today).
-Jesse

Naya Rivera is Single With No Job and Looks Smoking Hot

Maybe she was fired from Glee and she definitely broke up with Big Sean (who is a very small person). All I know is she hangs out in Mexico in tiny thong bikinis. Go Raiders!
Thanks TMZ for the pics

-Jesse

RIP Cinco de Mayo

Is the second greatest drinking holiday after St Patty’s really dead? In my eyes, yes, yes it is. At first I thought marriage would kill off all my fun black out drinking but I was happily proven wrong. Did it cause a shit ton of fights that I didn’t remember but was the cause of 100% of the time? Yea but who cares, I didn’t remember. Enter child number 1. That really put a halt on the during the week drinking but with a sitter nearby I could still get smashed from time to time. Now we have a second on the way and the sitter isn’t too available these days due to her having her own life so I’m basically saying goodbye to Cinco this year. I will probably (definitely) drink tequila tomorrow with Ken for corn hole but I am sad that I won’t get to black out and try and fight a bunch of other guy’s for hitting on my wife (standing within 15 feet of her and minding their own business). Here is my tribute of hot Spanish girls and people being drunk.

-Jesse