Archive for the ‘Instagram’ Category

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I could write a huge essay about why this movie was shit but it would be just as much of a waste of time as it was to see this hunk of crap. I’m sure it was fun to make and to be on set but it didn’t translate to the screen. And I’m not comparing it to Schindler’s List and The Godfather. Just take this and compare it to the other R rated comedies of the past few years (most featuring Seth Rogen in some way) and it just doesn’t hold up. It seemed too forced, too unnatural, and just off. And a bunch of times it was noticeable they cut parts of the movie out so they could fit everything in to a certain time frame. Half of the funniest parts in the trailer aren’t even in the movie itself. Save your time and just go see Spiderman 2 again.

PS I still would give an arm and a leg to party with Zac Efron during his drinking/coke days. That would be a fucking hell of a time.
PSS And if Efron isn’t in Magic Mike 2, Channing Tatum is as dumb as he looks because that kid was made for that kind of movie, not this.

-Jesse

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Two things..Terry Crews has to be on juice, right? In all reality I do not think he is but there can be no other explanation for being that in shape at his age. You know outside of hard work, a great diet and insane genetics. Fucking asshole. Secondly, look at Jimmy Fallon with the ripped bod, late night has been good for him.

-Jesse

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Vulture- Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow and producer Megan Ellison are teaming up again. According to The Wrap, Kathryn Bigelow will direct an adaptation of Anand Giridharadas’s nonfiction book The True American: Murder and Mercy in Texas, with Tom Hardy attached as the lead and Ellison’s Annapurna Pictures set to produce. The book tells the story of Mark Stroman, a self-proclaimed “American terrorist” (presumably Hardy) who shoots and nearly kills a Bangladeshi immigrant in a Dallas minimart, and the intertwining lives of the two men in the following decades. With Bigelow helming another morally fraught post-9/11 terrorist saga, Hardy playing another macho bad guy, and Ellison producing another film with “American” in the title, it sounds like everyone is sticking to what they do best. Are you paying attention, Academy voters of the future?

Everyone knows, and I have well documented, my love for Tom Hardy. Talent wise I think he is one of the best actors out there and visually, forget about it, gayballs for Tommy. But all of these movies being linked to him is starting to worry me because take a look at every other great actor in the world. Daniel Day Lewis, Denzel, Christian Bale, Leo..these guys are only attatched to or actually act in like one or two movies a year (even less for Day Lewis) and the world loves them. Give us a taste of your talent and we want it in buckets. But guys like DeNiro, Pacino, and now even Johnny Depp, they are just in too many fucking movies. Now I’m afraid the same thing is happening for Tom. This year he will have at least 2, maybe 3 movies come out. Then next year he has Mad Max so the marketing will be nauseatingly overdone and he is linked to an Elton John bio, a Kray twins gangster bio, Al Capone trilogy, Splinter Cell adaptation, and now a movie about an American terrorist. Of course they won’t all get made near each other, or ever, but that’s a lot of “linked” news reports about movies and TV shows. Daddy doesn’t like that Tommy, slow it down and just give us a taste. We don’t need the whole Hardy at once.

-Jesse “Supergay”

Marky Mark was the right choice for the lead in one of these movies. Has few acting skills, one facial expression, and is a tough guy. He is much more believable to fight robots that turn into cars than Shia LeBouf. Also pretty sure I came in my pants watching one robot ride another dragon robot through a city that is about to be destroyed. How many times can Michael Bay blow up a city by the way? Like these transformers have caused BILLIONS of dollars in damages and the time it would take to rebuild an entire metropolis is roughly 20 years? So is this movie 100 years after the first one? Now I’m confused, fuck.

-Jesse

There's a lot of room left for a big NOT GUILTY tatt

There’s a lot of room left for a big NOT GUILTY tatt


ESPN- Former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez has been indicted in a double homicide in Boston in 2012, according to multiple reports.
Hernandez remains jailed in Massachusetts, charged in a separate case with first-degree murder in the June 2013 shooting death of semi-professional football player Odin Lloyd, a Boston resident who was dating the sister of Hernandez’s fiancee, Shayanna Jenkins. He has pleaded not guilty and is being held without bail. It had been widely reported that Lloyd might have had knowledge about the Boston slayings.

So what you’re telling me is that one of the best football players in the NFL was basically a serial killer. Like he didn’t have a plan to murder people but if it had to be done he just went and shot them to death. I am so fascinated by this story that it still doesn’t seem real but I also have this suspicion that he will get off not guilty. Like he may get gun charges or something like that but they haven’t found the murder weapon and if he buddies stay true to the hood they won’t testify. We may have a new OJ case but times a hundred thousand.

-Jesse

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Variety- Edgar Ramirez is in negotiations to replace Gerard Butler in Alcon’s “Point Break” reboot. Alcon has been looking for someone to take over the role of Bodhi — played by Patrick Swayze in the ’1991 original — after Butler exited the project over a scheduling conflict, and looks to have found his successor in the “Carlos” star. Pic also stars Luke Bracey and Ray Winstone with Ericson Core directing. The pic has been dated for Aug. 7, 2015. The film will retain the original story of an FBI agent infiltrating a ring of criminals but will be set in the world of extreme sports.

Stop traffic movie people, you need to pump the brakes on this one. You can’t go from a perfect hire in Gerard Butler and jump right into bed with Edgar Ramirez, he’s not the guy. When I see Mr. Ramirez I see many things but definitely not a crazy bank robbing surfer. He can be a terrorist, a psycho, a teacher, a drug dealer (blah blah insert handsome Spanish guy role here). Just off the top of my head I can name like 6 guys better set to play the iconic role of Bodhi and here they are. I’ll expect my residual check in the mail.
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Ray Stevenson He just really has the size and crazy look factor
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Eric Bana You could literally show me a picture of Eric Bana and Gerard Butler and I wouldn’t know who is who
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Joe Manganiello Super jacked guy who could play a lunatic
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Taylor Kinney Looks like a surfer and dates Lady Gaga so you know he’s a little fucked up
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Josh Holloway Probably the best choice, surfer look and needs a job because Lost isn’t coming back anytime soon
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Aaron Eckhart He’s the wildcard because he should be a big movie star but all of his movies tank (sans Dark Knight)

-Jesse

Variety- Neil Patrick Harris has a long history of success at the CBS network, from his starring role on “How I Met Your Mother” to his multiple Emmy wins for hosting the Tony Awards. So it should come as no surprise that CBS was interested in the multitalented actor to replace David Letterman on “The Late Show.” Harris confirmed the news on Wednesday’s Howard Stern show that, before CBS hired Stephen Colbert for the “Late Show” post, network chief Leslie Moonves and entertainment head Nina Tassler pitched him the idea of taking over for either Letterman in the 11:30 slot or for outgoing Craig Ferguson at 12:30. “They called me in and sat me down and asked if that would be something that I’d be interested (in),”’ he told Stern, revealing that the duo even served him “fantastic” sushi at Moonves’ New York office. “I felt like I knew what my skill sets were, and I kind of knew what it is that I wanted to do after the show with (Moonves), so I was surprised he pitched me that idea,” Harris adds. Harris ultimately declined the opportunity because he didn’t have much of an interest in hosting a nightly show for a long time. “I think I would get bored of the repetition fast,” Harris admitted. But Harris isn’t ruling out the possibility of a weekly show at CBS. In fact, he pitched the executives the idea of hosting a variety program in the vein of “SNL.”

I don’t really see why Neil Patrick Harris is the world’s darling but whatever. I mean he’s kinda funny playing a pussy crazed guy because he is gay but what else is there? Song and dance man? Give me Hugh Jackman over Neil any day of the week, the guy is fucking Wolverine for Christ’s sake (and still in the closet gay).

-Jesse