Blown Call Presents: Movie Reviews- Neighbors

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I could write a huge essay about why this movie was shit but it would be just as much of a waste of time as it was to see this hunk of crap. I’m sure it was fun to make and to be on set but it didn’t translate to the screen. And I’m not comparing it to Schindler’s List and The Godfather. Just take this and compare it to the other R rated comedies of the past few years (most featuring Seth Rogen in some way) and it just doesn’t hold up. It seemed too forced, too unnatural, and just off. And a bunch of times it was noticeable they cut parts of the movie out so they could fit everything in to a certain time frame. Half of the funniest parts in the trailer aren’t even in the movie itself. Save your time and just go see Spiderman 2 again.

PS I still would give an arm and a leg to party with Zac Efron during his drinking/coke days. That would be a fucking hell of a time.
PSS And if Efron isn’t in Magic Mike 2, Channing Tatum is as dumb as he looks because that kid was made for that kind of movie, not this.

-Jesse

Nip Syncing with Jimmy Fallon and Terry Crews

Two things..Terry Crews has to be on juice, right? In all reality I do not think he is but there can be no other explanation for being that in shape at his age. You know outside of hard work, a great diet and insane genetics. Fucking asshole. Secondly, look at Jimmy Fallon with the ripped bod, late night has been good for him.

-Jesse

Tom Hardy Linked to Another New Movie, Jesse is Not Happy

Vulture- Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow and producer Megan Ellison are teaming up again. According to The Wrap, Kathryn Bigelow will direct an adaptation of Anand Giridharadas’s nonfiction book The True American: Murder and Mercy in Texas, with Tom Hardy attached as the lead and Ellison’s Annapurna Pictures set to produce. The book tells the story of Mark Stroman, a self-proclaimed “American terrorist” (presumably Hardy) who shoots and nearly kills a Bangladeshi immigrant in a Dallas minimart, and the intertwining lives of the two men in the following decades. With Bigelow helming another morally fraught post-9/11 terrorist saga, Hardy playing another macho bad guy, and Ellison producing another film with “American” in the title, it sounds like everyone is sticking to what they do best. Are you paying attention, Academy voters of the future?

Everyone knows, and I have well documented, my love for Tom Hardy. Talent wise I think he is one of the best actors out there and visually, forget about it, gayballs for Tommy. But all of these movies being linked to him is starting to worry me because take a look at every other great actor in the world. Daniel Day Lewis, Denzel, Christian Bale, Leo..these guys are only attatched to or actually act in like one or two movies a year (even less for Day Lewis) and the world loves them. Give us a taste of your talent and we want it in buckets. But guys like DeNiro, Pacino, and now even Johnny Depp, they are just in too many fucking movies. Now I’m afraid the same thing is happening for Tom. This year he will have at least 2, maybe 3 movies come out. Then next year he has Mad Max so the marketing will be nauseatingly overdone and he is linked to an Elton John bio, a Kray twins gangster bio, Al Capone trilogy, Splinter Cell adaptation, and now a movie about an American terrorist. Of course they won’t all get made near each other, or ever, but that’s a lot of “linked” news reports about movies and TV shows. Daddy doesn’t like that Tommy, slow it down and just give us a taste. We don’t need the whole Hardy at once.

-Jesse “Supergay”

Transformers: Age of Extinction Has a New Trailer and it Rules

Marky Mark was the right choice for the lead in one of these movies. Has few acting skills, one facial expression, and is a tough guy. He is much more believable to fight robots that turn into cars than Shia LeBouf. Also pretty sure I came in my pants watching one robot ride another dragon robot through a city that is about to be destroyed. How many times can Michael Bay blow up a city by the way? Like these transformers have caused BILLIONS of dollars in damages and the time it would take to rebuild an entire metropolis is roughly 20 years? So is this movie 100 years after the first one? Now I’m confused, fuck.

-Jesse

Aaron Hernandez Indicted on Double Murder Charges From 2012

There’s a lot of room left for a big NOT GUILTY tatt

ESPN- Former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez has been indicted in a double homicide in Boston in 2012, according to multiple reports.
Hernandez remains jailed in Massachusetts, charged in a separate case with first-degree murder in the June 2013 shooting death of semi-professional football player Odin Lloyd, a Boston resident who was dating the sister of Hernandez’s fiancee, Shayanna Jenkins. He has pleaded not guilty and is being held without bail. It had been widely reported that Lloyd might have had knowledge about the Boston slayings.

So what you’re telling me is that one of the best football players in the NFL was basically a serial killer. Like he didn’t have a plan to murder people but if it had to be done he just went and shot them to death. I am so fascinated by this story that it still doesn’t seem real but I also have this suspicion that he will get off not guilty. Like he may get gun charges or something like that but they haven’t found the murder weapon and if he buddies stay true to the hood they won’t testify. We may have a new OJ case but times a hundred thousand.

-Jesse

Gerard Butler Out of Point Break Remake, Edgar Ramirez In as Bodhi

Variety- Edgar Ramirez is in negotiations to replace Gerard Butler in Alcon’s “Point Break” reboot. Alcon has been looking for someone to take over the role of Bodhi — played by Patrick Swayze in the ’1991 original — after Butler exited the project over a scheduling conflict, and looks to have found his successor in the “Carlos” star. Pic also stars Luke Bracey and Ray Winstone with Ericson Core directing. The pic has been dated for Aug. 7, 2015. The film will retain the original story of an FBI agent infiltrating a ring of criminals but will be set in the world of extreme sports.

Stop traffic movie people, you need to pump the brakes on this one. You can’t go from a perfect hire in Gerard Butler and jump right into bed with Edgar Ramirez, he’s not the guy. When I see Mr. Ramirez I see many things but definitely not a crazy bank robbing surfer. He can be a terrorist, a psycho, a teacher, a drug dealer (blah blah insert handsome Spanish guy role here). Just off the top of my head I can name like 6 guys better set to play the iconic role of Bodhi and here they are. I’ll expect my residual check in the mail.

Ray Stevenson He just really has the size and crazy look factor

Eric Bana You could literally show me a picture of Eric Bana and Gerard Butler and I wouldn’t know who is who

Joe Manganiello Super jacked guy who could play a lunatic

Taylor Kinney Looks like a surfer and dates Lady Gaga so you know he’s a little fucked up

Josh Holloway Probably the best choice, surfer look and needs a job because Lost isn’t coming back anytime soon

Aaron Eckhart He’s the wildcard because he should be a big movie star but all of his movies tank (sans Dark Knight)

-Jesse

Howard Stern Interviews Neil Patrick Harris 5/2014

Variety- Neil Patrick Harris has a long history of success at the CBS network, from his starring role on “How I Met Your Mother” to his multiple Emmy wins for hosting the Tony Awards. So it should come as no surprise that CBS was interested in the multitalented actor to replace David Letterman on “The Late Show.” Harris confirmed the news on Wednesday’s Howard Stern show that, before CBS hired Stephen Colbert for the “Late Show” post, network chief Leslie Moonves and entertainment head Nina Tassler pitched him the idea of taking over for either Letterman in the 11:30 slot or for outgoing Craig Ferguson at 12:30. “They called me in and sat me down and asked if that would be something that I’d be interested (in),”’ he told Stern, revealing that the duo even served him “fantastic” sushi at Moonves’ New York office. “I felt like I knew what my skill sets were, and I kind of knew what it is that I wanted to do after the show with (Moonves), so I was surprised he pitched me that idea,” Harris adds. Harris ultimately declined the opportunity because he didn’t have much of an interest in hosting a nightly show for a long time. “I think I would get bored of the repetition fast,” Harris admitted. But Harris isn’t ruling out the possibility of a weekly show at CBS. In fact, he pitched the executives the idea of hosting a variety program in the vein of “SNL.”

I don’t really see why Neil Patrick Harris is the world’s darling but whatever. I mean he’s kinda funny playing a pussy crazed guy because he is gay but what else is there? Song and dance man? Give me Hugh Jackman over Neil any day of the week, the guy is fucking Wolverine for Christ’s sake (and still in the closet gay).

-Jesse

Alec Baldwin Arrested for Riding His Bike on the Wrong Side of the Road

NY Daily News- Alec Baldwin was arrested for disorderly conduct in Manhattan on Tuesday, after a flare-up with cops when he was stopped for riding his bicycle against traffic, police said. The hotheaded actor became unruly with officers who asked him for identification after they stopped on Fifth Ave. near 16th St.. in the Flatiron District about 10:15 a.m., cops said. “He became belligerent, yelling and screaming at the officers, ‘I don’t have ID. Just give me the f—–g summonses,'” one police source told the Daily News. Cops cuffed the “30 Rock” star at the scene – a moment captured by a lensman with InTouch Magazine – and hauled him the NYPD’s 13th Precinct. But the foul-mouthed Baldwin didn’t stop arguing over his arrest once he arrived at the E. 21st St. stationhouse. “How old are these officers?” he growled. “They don’t even know who I am.” He was issued summonses for riding a bicycle the wrong way on a street and disorderly conduct before he was released.

Will they just leave this guy the fuck alone? He is one of the coolest actors ever and the police/paparazzi continuously fuck with him and make his life hell. There are 6 trillion people in NY yet he is arrested, stopped, detained every other day. Just wants to ride his bike and be left alone. He was on the wrong side of the street? Give me a break I watched a lady poop in a bag in the middle of the sidewalk on Park Ave and no one batted an eye. #FreeAlec

-Jesse

Texas A&M Wants to Name Field “The House That Johnny Built”

Bleacher Report- Johnny Manziel has left College Station early and will now head to Cleveland as he hopes to leave his mark on the National Football League. The 2012 Heisman Trophy winner’s time at Texas A&M was so sensational that one Aggies official wants to rename Kyle Field—which was built in 1927—in honor of the quarterback. Texas A&M regent Jim Schwertner talked about what he would like to see happen to the stadium while the Aggies gave an update on the $450 million renovations going on at Kyle Field:

A&M regent Jim Schwertner above all thanked Johnny Manziel for getting the money raised for the Kyle redo in two months

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

A&M regent Jim Schwertner said he's dead serious about wanting Kyle named: Kyle Field: The House that Johnny Built.

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

I followed up with a question to regent Jim Schwertner asking if he was serious, just to make sure. He was.

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

Why A&M regent Jim Schwertner wants 'House that Johnny Built' added to Kyle Field name (Aggies Blog): http://t.co/0z7nwcmSkm

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

ESPN’s Darren Rovell reported last month, Manziel already filed to trademark “The House That Johnny Built.” Manziel put Texas A&M back on the college football map during his two seasons on campus. If one Aggies official has it his way, Johnny Football’s legacy will never be forgotten.

If there has ever been a move where people acted before thinking, this is it. I understand all the great things Johnny did on the field for the Aggies, and off the field with jersey sales. But the guy barely even left the stadium and you want to change the name? Come on people, use your heads. He didn’t win a championship, I don’t think he even won an SEC title. He was electrifying and fun to watch and fell to the 22nd pick in the draft. In about 10 years, maybe 15, no one is going to give a fuck about Johnny Football at A&M so naming the stadium “The House that Johnny Built” is only going to hammer home that he literally built the stadium with his jersey/ticket sales and he didn’t earn a penny of it. Bad idea. Maybe start with a food truck and then work your way up from there.
PS And if I am Johnny, I’m trademarking EVERYTHING with my name in it, including Johnny Depp’s name. Fuck him, he’s made enough, make it while you can still run around the football field before Suggs ruins your life mid November.
PSS Thank God the fucking Gators didn’t do this with Tebow’s name. There wouldn’t be a pebble in Gainesville without his likeness stamped on it.
-Jesse

John Brennan Named Program Director of 102.5 The Bone

All Access- COX MEDIA GROUP Talk WHPT (102.5 THE BONE)/TAMPA has upped Content Manager and MIKE CALTA SHOW Executive Producer JOHN BRENNAN to Dir./Branding and Programming, overseeing all programming operations for the FM talker. VP/Market Manager KEITH LAWLESS said, “In his previous role as Content Manager for WHPT, JOHN demonstrated his clear understanding and vision for this unique format. I am confident in his leadership capabilities and proud to have JOHN in this important role.” BRENNAN said, “I am extremely excited to be named the Director of Branding and Programming for 102.5 THE BONE. THE BONE is one of the most unique stations in radio, with some of the most polarizing and talented personalities in the world, and I get to work with them every day. I am honored that KIM GUTHRIE, STEVE SMITH and KEITH LAWLESS have such confidence in me to continue the great success of this station. I feel genuinely lucky to be working for a Company that encourages such originality and creativity!” VP/Programming STEVE SMITH added, “He is a natural leader, and I believe he will take this groundbreaking talk station to the next level.”
http://www.theboneonline.com/
If you are on the west coast of FL and you don’t listen to the Bone, you just suck. They are an all talk station, literally midnight to midnight is all talk, and every show has something for everyone. Bubba the Love Sponge in the morning doing Bubba stuff, Billy Madison Show after him is aimed perfectly at the college age group, Drew Garabo in middays talking 80s hip-hop and berating his idiot callers, the Mike Calta Show is the anchor of the station and appeals really to everyone, then a few other shows after that either from replay or new local talent. John Brennan has been on the Calta show for as long as I’ve listened as an on-air/behind the scenes guy and now that he is in charge of programming for the whole station I think it only gets better from here. He’s a really nice guy and I think has the right mindset to give the people what they want with the current shows while also adding in new shows to fill the cracks. (aaaaaaand my blowjob for the Bone is over at the moment. Carry on)

-Jesse