Texas A&M Wants to Name Field “The House That Johnny Built”

Bleacher Report- Johnny Manziel has left College Station early and will now head to Cleveland as he hopes to leave his mark on the National Football League. The 2012 Heisman Trophy winner’s time at Texas A&M was so sensational that one Aggies official wants to rename Kyle Field—which was built in 1927—in honor of the quarterback. Texas A&M regent Jim Schwertner talked about what he would like to see happen to the stadium while the Aggies gave an update on the $450 million renovations going on at Kyle Field:

A&M regent Jim Schwertner above all thanked Johnny Manziel for getting the money raised for the Kyle redo in two months

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

A&M regent Jim Schwertner said he's dead serious about wanting Kyle named: Kyle Field: The House that Johnny Built.

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

I followed up with a question to regent Jim Schwertner asking if he was serious, just to make sure. He was.

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

Why A&M regent Jim Schwertner wants 'House that Johnny Built' added to Kyle Field name (Aggies Blog): http://t.co/0z7nwcmSkm

— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) May 12, 2014

ESPN’s Darren Rovell reported last month, Manziel already filed to trademark “The House That Johnny Built.” Manziel put Texas A&M back on the college football map during his two seasons on campus. If one Aggies official has it his way, Johnny Football’s legacy will never be forgotten.

If there has ever been a move where people acted before thinking, this is it. I understand all the great things Johnny did on the field for the Aggies, and off the field with jersey sales. But the guy barely even left the stadium and you want to change the name? Come on people, use your heads. He didn’t win a championship, I don’t think he even won an SEC title. He was electrifying and fun to watch and fell to the 22nd pick in the draft. In about 10 years, maybe 15, no one is going to give a fuck about Johnny Football at A&M so naming the stadium “The House that Johnny Built” is only going to hammer home that he literally built the stadium with his jersey/ticket sales and he didn’t earn a penny of it. Bad idea. Maybe start with a food truck and then work your way up from there.
PS And if I am Johnny, I’m trademarking EVERYTHING with my name in it, including Johnny Depp’s name. Fuck him, he’s made enough, make it while you can still run around the football field before Suggs ruins your life mid November.
PSS Thank God the fucking Gators didn’t do this with Tebow’s name. There wouldn’t be a pebble in Gainesville without his likeness stamped on it.
-Jesse

Girl Fight Ends With Shovel to the Head Full Video and Vine

We’re late to the party because I couldn’t find a link for the whole video, YouTube took it down. So fuck it, here is the vine of Shovel Girl getting blasted with, you guessed it, a god damn shovel.

Instant update, here is the full video. Kinda boring until like 4:40. And that chick is now temporarily deaf in that ear (she did an interview with the Billy Madison Show today).
-Jesse

RIP Cinco de Mayo

Is the second greatest drinking holiday after St Patty’s really dead? In my eyes, yes, yes it is. At first I thought marriage would kill off all my fun black out drinking but I was happily proven wrong. Did it cause a shit ton of fights that I didn’t remember but was the cause of 100% of the time? Yea but who cares, I didn’t remember. Enter child number 1. That really put a halt on the during the week drinking but with a sitter nearby I could still get smashed from time to time. Now we have a second on the way and the sitter isn’t too available these days due to her having her own life so I’m basically saying goodbye to Cinco this year. I will probably (definitely) drink tequila tomorrow with Ken for corn hole but I am sad that I won’t get to black out and try and fight a bunch of other guy’s for hitting on my wife (standing within 15 feet of her and minding their own business). Here is my tribute of hot Spanish girls and people being drunk.

-Jesse

Blown Call Sports Presents: Cornhole

That really does sound like a porno, and one that I would have bookmarked and favorited. Sometimes you just need a little back door action. Sadly this has nothing to do with porn, it’s just simply a Cornhole league that Ken and I have joined here in Bradenton. There is a local bar, Motorworks Brewery, that has a beer garden, craft beers, and now they are hosting this league. I’m really good, Ken admits he is off and on (kinda like his hair…ZING!) so it should be interesting. What is pretty exciting though is we will now be uploading our own videos onto the site instead of just youtube clips and shit. Also I have no clue what we could win for this thing, could be a free beer could be a million dollars, all I know is I go hard in the paint so these motherfuckers better watch out!

-Jesse

Topless Chick Destroys a McDonald’s

Here is the uncensored video from Live Leak with commentary from the employees of said Micky D’s.
Gotta love the comment ‘Look at dem titties doh’
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=456_1396780871

Is Brett Gardner Wearing A Mitten?

Gonna get those tots out of the oven just as soon as I swipe second.

Yeah, that’s a goddamn mitten.

What the hell is going on around here?! Are the Yankees throwing in the towel already?

-Ken

Taco Bell Breakfast Starts Tomorrow!!!

My poor, poor, arteries

I’m so excited I can’t even think about going to bed. I’m definitely getting 2 waffle tacos. (Two syrup packets on each) That’s all I know for sure right now. Saw a bunch of fat losers holding the A.M. Crunch Wrap on a commercial earlier so now I’m feeling a little self conscious about getting one. They look small and I don’t want anyone to think of me negatively while I’m shoveling it down my throat in the parking lot one minute after pulling away from the drive thru. Also, would I actually have to say “A.M. Crunch Wrap” or could I just get away with saying “Crunch Wrap?” They’re not serving any other crunch wraps at 7 in the morning I hope. There’s no need for the extra words right? That’s just more time in between me and my nutritious breakfast full of regret and two days worth of self-loathing. Having to say “A.M.” is seriously going to be a deal breaker for me. I already don’t like ordering the XXL Tacos because I’m afraid I’ll say too many X’s or L’s and then the 47 year old high school drop out working at Taco Bell will think I’m an idiot. I can’t handle that kind of pressure. I better get a little buzz on before I go so I don’t fuck this up. So Stoked!!!

-Ken

I’m halfway into a panic attack think about ordering an “A.M. Crunch Wrap Supreme.” Like, that can’t be anything but spit and sour cream right?

British Suck At Food: Extreme Burger Latest Example

Part of the challenge is getting through the entire “burger” without drinking any piss warm Carlsberg. Your mouth would have more moisture inside even after you’ve been dead in the middle of the Sahara for 100 years.

The Daily Meal-The “Ulti-meatum” burger definitely puts most unhealthy food creations to shame. This 10,000 calorie meaty monstrosity, created by the team at Mister Eaters Fish and Chips Shop in Preston, England is a triple threat, containing three deep-fried cheeseburgers—the middle one of which is literally a “burger within a burger” — with all of the fixings. Mister Eaters will be creating a challenge for charity for anyone who thinks that they can “eat the beast” in a certain timeframe.

Corinne Clarkson, owner of Mister Eaters Fish and Chips Shop, got the idea for the burger after seeing it featured on “The Regular Show,” a Cartoon Network cartoon. She had only seen multiple failed attempts to re-create the “burger within a burger” online.

“Us being us, no strangers to wild and wacky creations, we saw that failure as a challenge and thought that we would have a go at this seemingly impossible to make burger,” said Clarkson. “Me personally, I would not give it a go at eating it, not the whole thing in a time limit anyway. I have sampled the burger inside the burger and it was delicious.”

Think you can handle the challenge? It will cost you around 30 U.S. dollars

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Typical Brits trying to do something that is WAAAAYYYY out of their comfort zone. First it was fighting a war in another country wearing bright red coats with giant white X’s across their chests, then it was trying to have any sense of oral hygiene. And now this crap. They’re ruining the strictly American tradition of extreme food, over indulgence, and gluttony. That burger could not look more disgusting if you served it on the queen’s wrinkled tit. First off, they cook the fuck out of every piece of meat in the country because they’re afraid of mad cow disease. Why change now? Then they serve it on a bun with zero percent moisture topped off with some Kraft singles? Two tomato slices and some weeds out of the yard. I guess my teeth would fall out of my head before I was 15 too if I tried to make them chew on hockey pucks and lawn clippings all day. Here’s how it’s done you limey twits:

Notice there is juice still inside the burger? See how the cheese is actually cheese and melts?

Observe the structural integrity and perfect form of this burger. It teases you with the idea that a bite can be taken out of it. Also you’ll notice there are other toppings to add different flavors and textures into the mix. Bacon, Mushrooms, and onion. They all provide color as well.

The Juicy Lucy. Because fuck your heart.

-Ken

Why Does Mary-Kate Olsen Look Like She’s 42?

Heath Ledger’s death was hard on us all, but DAAAAMMMMNNNNN!

Here’s a link to the article if you have that kind of time to waste:http://tv.yahoo.com/news/mary-kate-olsen-just-learned-brush-hair-last-174700258.html

Never mind the stupid shit about her not knowing how to brush her hair until recently. I’m not even going to read the article. But apparently instead of learning basic grooming habits she was busy mastering the art of bulimia and chain smoking. I know these girls have had a fast and busy life but Mary-Kate looks a good 10 years older than me but she’s five years younger AND I have a horrible horseshoe pattern bald head! I mean this picture was taken only ten years ago:

19 years old

They must both be sharing one soul. Only logical explanation. Meth heads don’t even age that fast. Either that or she has chosen the wrong holy grail:

-Ken

A Monday St. Patrick’s Day is Just Awful

I have no clue why St. Patty’s isn’t permanently scheduled on a Friday or Saturday. If Thanksgiving and Easter are always on their days why not move this one. Everyone is doing the same thing on each of those days so just make it easier for everyone to be able to get shit housed and recover on a Saturday/Sunday. No one is out there lighting candles because Patrick got all the snakes out of Ireland. They are all pounding as much Guiness/Kilians and Jameson as possible before they try and shove their limp dick into some chubby freckly bitch with huge knockers. But when it’s on a Monday sure you have Friday and Saturday to party but it’s all split up. Some bars do Friday, some Saturday so the party is never as big as it could be. Make it one day and pick your bar and just go balls to the wall with a black out and most certain whisky dick. I know my wife is thrilled every March 18th at 3 am when I am trying to put the moves on her with an Irish cursed wiener that has the same texture as angel hair pasta that’s soaked for 3 weeks in cold water. But hey it’s not a tradition until it happens a few years in a row, right?

I think 30 Rock had the best St. Patrick’s Day episodes and/or references that I can remember from a TV show. Dennis Duffy is just the best Irish character ever.

Couldn’t find any clips, so here is a picture dummies

Also the Dropkick Murphy’s

-Jesse