Archive for the ‘hockey’ Category

untitled
Bleacher Report- According to the Associated Press (via Cleveland.com), Emmy-winning sportscaster Dan Patrick will play the role of Alex Trebek on Sports Jeopardy!—a sports-themed version of the popular Jeopardy! game show. Produced by Sony Pictures, Sports Jeopardy! will begin airing this fall via Crackle, a Sony-owned digital service otherwise known for distributing Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. This means Patrick and company will not be aired on NBC like the original game show. However, this mode of distribution could lead to greater interaction for viewers. Sports Jeopardy! will be made available to viewers with PlayStations, Xboxes, Apple TV and Roku—a safe and cheaper conduit on Sony’s part. The biggest difference between Patrick’s show and the old show is a mobile app reportedly in development for the program. Users watching Sports Jeopardy! on their mobile devices will be able to download an application allowing them to keep score in real time. Other such mobile Jeopardy! score trackers have been developed but not in an officially licensed capacity or with access to the exact questions posed on the show. As a sports fan, all of this news appeals to me. Given his general manner and knowledge of the game, Dan Patrick is an excellent choice to fill in as “Sports Trebek.” Hopefully we’ll see some celebrity contestant editions of Sports Jeopardy! as well. Who wouldn’t want to test just how much they know compared to actual athletes and coaches?

So basically they just took what guys do every single day of their lives, challenging each other to sports trivia, and made it into a game show. And they picked the best possible host in Dan Patrick. There has never been nor will there ever be (outside of myself and Ken) a guy that is really fucking cool and a sports nut. His show is the only one on the DirecTv channel that probably gets any views and it’s a nationally syndicated radio show too. Great idea to not put it on TV because so many people get their television second hand via the internet and/or apps on smart tvs. I haven’t had cable in 2 years and I have to miss one episode of a good show or any news and I save a shit ton of money by just having internet. Can’t wait for this show so I can boom roast Ken on football trivia.

-Jesse

untitled
I don’t have much on this since I just heard it on the Bubba the Love Sponge Show, but apparently DirecTv is cancelling the radio show and the tv show. So Artie finally gets out of the hospital and they can his show, pretty fucking shitty. I really like Artie, I love how he interacts with the guests but I was never a fan of Jon Ritchie being his cohost. I understand he has the insider knowledge of being an ex pro football player. I get that it’s a comedy and sports show. Jon just spoke like he has had way too many concussions. The guy fought through sentences like Bieber fights through chicks at a concert. Loved him on the Raiders, not a huge fan of him being on the radio. Either way I hope Artie lands back on air in some way, shape or form and if it was on one of Howard’s stations that would be fucking awesome. Good luck Artie.

-Jesse

Ducks coach Bruce Boudreau seen here celebrating after center Nick Bonino nets the OT series winner

To be honest, I turned the game off with 4 minutes left and said, “This game is over, Dallas did what they needed to do. Get it to 7.”
Then of course and hour later when I was laying in bed looking at my phone instead of sleeping like usual I noticed they lost in OT. Brutal way to end the season.
But the most annoying part is that I turned it off right before it happened! What the hell is wrong with me?! I KNOW the last 2 minutes in a playoff NHL game are the best thing on TV any given night. ESPECIALLY if it’s a 1 or 2 goal game. ESPECIALLY if it’s a potential closeout game. Goddammit what’s wrong with me?! I watched most of the game up to that point just to see the Stars grind it out and save their season for one more game. And then I blew it all for what? Cause I had to piss and figured I might as well go to bed anyway?! Bullshit! Completely inexcusable. I’m that stupid asshole walking out of game 6 in the NBA Finals last year trying to beat traffic and talking about how we just didn’t have enough this year. Except it’s WORSE because I’m in my own stupid house with zero traffic and no lines in the toilet! Dumb dumb dumb. Just dumb.

-Dummy Ken Dumb Head

This video represents reasons number 1 through 8,000 why I would never make it in hockey at ANY level. That and the fact that I can’t stand on skates for longer than 3 seconds without my arms going into high-speed windmills to keep my balance. Me sliding around on ice waiting to get smashed in the face with a puck sounds like a lot of fun and all but just to put my pain tolerance in perspective, I had my teeth cleaned at the dentist yesterday and I winced in pain when she sprayed cold water on my one sensitive tooth. I would literally cry and piss myself to death if my teeth stopped a 100 mph slap shot.

-Ken

……and then….he hitted the puck at meeeeee!!!!! WAAAAAHHHH!!!!


WORLDMONEYMEGA_FINALa

I love this list because it always makes me laugh. GMs and Executives always think they are so fucking smart signing someone who has a big year or two to a decade long contract where the biggest pay days are WELL past their primes. Let’s break down some of the more interesting people on the list.
Floyd has basically dominated the list every year since Tiger got divorced.
Crisitano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi being 2nd and 3rd makes since because people who have never watched soccer know how good they are. Simple as that, worldwide stars.
Aaron Rodgers being the highest paid football player may not seem right to some people but I don’t mind it. 40 million for last year is a little nuts for on the field performance but he is the face of the NFL. He is the future and he will be a/the top QB for years to come.
Matt Stafford, Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco being in the top 10 is fucking great. These are the guys who cashed in on a few good years (only Flacco has anything to show for it) and are now banging the buttholes of their teams cap limits. Good job boys.
The Phillies have 3 guys in the top 25 and they are in last place. I honestly don’t think Ryan Howard and Cliff Lee even play baseball anymore and I refuse to look it up for the correct information. There are 6 guys above anyone on the Yankees at all so all those “you buy your players” people can suck a dick under a bridge. (Thank God A-Rod is suspended and doesn’t count)
Gilbert Arenas. He may not be in the top 25 total but he is the 3rd highest paid NBA player and WASN’T IN THE LEAGUE. There is always someone like that and this time it’s Gilbert. Play on playa.

-Jesse

WANTED: Ryan “Bugsy” Malone

CBS Sports-Tampa Bay Lightning left winger Ryan Malone was arrested early Saturday morning under suspicion of cocaine possesion and driving under the influence at 3:23 a.m. in Tampa, Fla. at Platt and Rome Streets.

Malone’s BAC was .112 and .116 according to his booking information, which is over the legal limit in Florida of .08.

Malone was booked at 5:40 a.m. and is being held on $2,500 bond.

“We are aware of the situation concerning Ryan Malone this morning,” Lightning general manager Steve Yzerman said in a statement. “Ryan will not travel with the team to Washington today, but beyond that we cannot comment further at this time.”

Malone is still in custody at the Hillsborough County Jail as of 8:19 a.m. according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department website.

According to WFLA-TV, a Tampa police officer saw Malone hit a curb while driving and pulled the Lightning forward over. The officer then found cocaine in his pants pocket.

Malone was a scratch in the Lightning’s 3-2 win vs. Columbus on Friday night at home and hasn’t played since April 5. He has five goals and has 10 assists in 57 games with the Lightning this season.

Malone has played 10 seasons in the NHL, including four years with his hometown Pittsburgh Penguins and the last six with the Lightning. He was part of the U.S. Olympic Men’s Hockey Team at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

________________________________________________________________

I can’t remember the last time Malone didn’t do something that made me want to cross check myself into a light pole and this is just another reason to dump him. He has a year left on his contract and it feels like he’s been riding it out for the last two.

And how much of a fuck does he not give to just have a bag of cocaine in his pocket while driving drunk around Tampa at 3:30 in the morning? Gotta stash that shit…..I don’t know…..SOMEWHERE? Anywhere? Other than having it buckled up in his kids car seat I can’t think of a worse place to “hide” it.

-Ken

And no I would not recommend that he “jock” it because hockey players are disgustingly dirty and I guarantee his nuts look like a moldy loaf of bread.

Bishop Injures His Left Wrist Tuesday Against The Maple Leafs. Out For The Rest Of The Regular Season; Maybe Playoffs

I’m not trying to sound like a kill joy here because I was so stoked for the playoffs I couldn’t stand it. But if Bishop is out for the playoffs then this team is fucked. He is/was the ONLY chance this team had making it out of the first round and actually gave them a pretty good shot of making it deep. He’s THAT good. Anders Lindback on the other hand, is like having a folding chair sitting in front of the goal. God, this team is so fucked. He better be back for the playoffs, he’s a hockey player, rub some ice on it and get back out there.

-Ken