I Hate?….. Asdrubal Carbrera? Wow. I Think I do.

Nice pearl necklace loser! Burn!

FantasySP.com-MINNEAPOLIS (AP) – Cleveland Indians shortstop Asdrubal Cabrera has left the game with the Minnesota Twins because of lower back spasms. Cabrera played two innings Monday night before being taken out.
(7/21/2014)

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This is new territory for me as a true homer in every sense of the word. I ALWAYS root for every player on my teams to be successful because that’s just what a dumb blind idiot would do. If he’s on the team he’s my favorite player. That’s the stupid thing I believe in. And a few years ago Asdrubal might have been about my favorite player on the Indians so I can honestly say that when he left the game tonight and I said “Good, get that fucking piece of shit outta’ there” that I was just as surprised to hear the words as anyone in the room. (Completely alone) I was surprised because I was at the game in Tampa a few years ago when Asdrubal broke his arm and I was devastated. He was my favorite player. Jesus Christ.
So what the hell happened? Well without getting into stats (because that would be responsible) I would just like to state that he’s totally being a piece of shit the last 2 years. It feels like every inning ends with him taking off his batting gloves and helmet and handing it to the first base coach because he just grounded into an inning ending DP. And I’ve lost count of all the errors this year. I don’t know the exact number but I’d guess it’s somewhere in the 1000’s so far. At least 50 a game. The Tribe have about 4 utility players starting every game and I don’t see why they just don’t trade Cabrera and plug in another at shortstop. He CAN’T be in the long term plans at the position right? That would be lunacy. As a matter of fact I know that Francisco Lindor is the SS waiting to be called up and he’s the best prospect in the whole organization. The future starts now.

-Ken

Mariano Rivera Shares Secret About Cano That Everyone Knows

>Yahoo Sports- Mariano Rivera isn’t the type to throw shade at people — teammates, ex-teammates, rivals, whoever it may be. So it’s a bit of an eyebrow-raiser to find out that Mo slams ex-New York Yankees teammate Robinson Cano in his new book, “The Closer,” which is out Tuesday. It’s not surprising, really. Just juicy. Rivera, who retired from the Yankees last season as baseball’s all-time saves leader, questions Cano’s drive and passion in the book. It’s not new criticism for Cano, who had a reputation for not hustling enough by the end of his tenure in New York. It is, however, new to hear this from Rivera, who’s usually Mr. Say the Right Thing. From the New York Daily News (whose Wayne Coffey helped Rivera write the book):
In his new autobiography, “The Closer,” Rivera writes about how much affection he has for his former teammate, but adds, “This guy has so much talent I don’t know where to start… There is no doubt that he is a Hall-of-Fame caliber (player). It’s just a question of whether he finds the drive you need to get there. I don’t think Robby burns to be the best… You don’t see that red-hot passion in him that you see in most elite players.”
As for his favorite second baseman, Rivera says Red Sox Dustin Pedroia is “at the top of the list” of players he admires, adding: “Nobody plays harder, gives more, wants to win more. He comes at you hard for twenty-seven outs. It’s a special thing to see.”
He later writes, “If I have to win one game, I’d have a hard time taking anybody over Dustin Pedroia as my second baseman.”

Back to back days being able to post about Mariano is pretty sweet, even if this is supposed to be him talking shit. Listen the guy shared a locker room with Cano for years and he, like everyone else who watches baseball, knows he doesn’t try hard. He doesn’t have to. There are certain dickheads in this world that are so naturally good at shit they don’t have to try hard and for Cano it’s baseball. Someone like Pedroia who is a short, balding white guy, on the other hand, has to give it their all at every single at bat. He had like two broken legs and was sitting down in the field throwing infield catch before a game, the guy is a nut. And if you just take natural ability and put them side by side, Dustin wouldn’t even come close. But he busts his fucking ass and that’s how he won an MVP and is the preferred 2nd Baseman across the league, not just in Mariano’s eyes. It’s also why I hate his fucking guts and hope he dies. Go Yanks.

-Jesse

Mariano Rivera Gets Street Named After Him in the Bronx

River Avenue and 161st Street in the Bronx – right outside Yankee Stadium
re-named "Mariano Rivera Avenue!" pic.twitter.com/KXvu1hIxqo

— Bruce Beck (@BruceBeck4NY) May 5, 2014

Bleacher Report- Adding an extra letter to a sign was an easy way to pay tribute to a baseball legend. River Avenue runs right past Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. Given that former New York Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer in baseball history, it made sense to just throw on an “a” to the street sign. Rivera racked up 652 saves over 19 seasons with the Yankees, so it’s only fitting that the street right outside of the stadium was renamed in his honor.

I’ve always been conflicted on renaming things after players after they retire..until now. Of all the Yankee greats there ever have been or ever will be, Mariano is probably the greatest human being among them all. That includes Derek Jeter who is probably taken over the spot of ‘Favorite Yankee’ from Don Mattingly in my heart. All the way from Ruth to DiMaggio to Mantle to Jeets himself, there will never be a better dude that Mo. No booze, no drugs, no scandalous chicks. Just his wife, his Jesus and his cutter. Never will there be a better closer and he deserves to have that street named after him and more. (Please come back Mo, you still got it!)

-Jesse

Is Skip Bayless A Good Enough Deterrent To NOT Draft Someone?

Again: The Houston Texans will forever regret it if they don't take Johnny Manziel with the No.-1 overall pick.

— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) May 5, 2014

Skip Bayless. That’s it. I’ve literally tried 4 times to start this blog and I don’t know what to say about him. He’s an annoying asshole on TV but that’s his character and that’s why he has a shit ton of money. It works. He and Stephen A. Smith (played better by Jay Pharoah on SNL) are basically just two old guys (white and black) who disagree on literally everything. Football, basketball, the color of the fucking sky. The one thing they agree on is when they get weird about religion on air and make the athlete/rapper they have on stage really uncomfortable. All that aside, if Skip Bayless likes someone to the point of no return and I am a GM, I will not draft them. He would’ve murdered someone to get the point across that he thinks Tebow can win a Super Bowl. And that’s last week. He STILL thinks Timmy has the best QB skills of all time. Look how that turned out. Tim beat the Steelers and then got sodomized by Tom Brady and the Patriots in the second round of the playoffs and he hasn’t played since. Now Skip thinks the same thing about Johnny Football. Ruh-roh. Drake doesn’t have enough swag to pull him out of that nonsense. Bayless is the Cooler of the NFL draft which means that anything hot and exciting that gets touched by his seal of approval is destined to fail. Sorry Johnny, you had a good run.

PS Fuck Skip Bayless having a 90 year old women’s face and a jacked body. Go eat a donut and maybe you will see why Tebow can’t be a real NFL QB

-Jesse

Rangers Player Murders Baseball, He’s Not the Only One

Photo from Routine Baseball Clothing Twitter

Splat. #ThatBallTho pic.twitter.com/1856KDc5Ob

— Routine (@Routine) May 5, 2014

Puig playing against anyone is fun to watch but he really went all out for this out of division game vs. the fucking Marlins. Trout may be better but I’d rather watch Puig and Bryce Harper play any day of the week.

Also

-Jesse

Dan Patrick to Host Sports Jeopardy

Bleacher Report- According to the Associated Press (via Cleveland.com), Emmy-winning sportscaster Dan Patrick will play the role of Alex Trebek on Sports Jeopardy!—a sports-themed version of the popular Jeopardy! game show. Produced by Sony Pictures, Sports Jeopardy! will begin airing this fall via Crackle, a Sony-owned digital service otherwise known for distributing Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. This means Patrick and company will not be aired on NBC like the original game show. However, this mode of distribution could lead to greater interaction for viewers. Sports Jeopardy! will be made available to viewers with PlayStations, Xboxes, Apple TV and Roku—a safe and cheaper conduit on Sony’s part. The biggest difference between Patrick’s show and the old show is a mobile app reportedly in development for the program. Users watching Sports Jeopardy! on their mobile devices will be able to download an application allowing them to keep score in real time. Other such mobile Jeopardy! score trackers have been developed but not in an officially licensed capacity or with access to the exact questions posed on the show. As a sports fan, all of this news appeals to me. Given his general manner and knowledge of the game, Dan Patrick is an excellent choice to fill in as “Sports Trebek.” Hopefully we’ll see some celebrity contestant editions of Sports Jeopardy! as well. Who wouldn’t want to test just how much they know compared to actual athletes and coaches?

So basically they just took what guys do every single day of their lives, challenging each other to sports trivia, and made it into a game show. And they picked the best possible host in Dan Patrick. There has never been nor will there ever be (outside of myself and Ken) a guy that is really fucking cool and a sports nut. His show is the only one on the DirecTv channel that probably gets any views and it’s a nationally syndicated radio show too. Great idea to not put it on TV because so many people get their television second hand via the internet and/or apps on smart tvs. I haven’t had cable in 2 years and I have to miss one episode of a good show or any news and I save a shit ton of money by just having internet. Can’t wait for this show so I can boom roast Ken on football trivia.

-Jesse

Artie Lange Radio Show Being Cancelled

I don’t have much on this since I just heard it on the Bubba the Love Sponge Show, but apparently DirecTv is cancelling the radio show and the tv show. So Artie finally gets out of the hospital and they can his show, pretty fucking shitty. I really like Artie, I love how he interacts with the guests but I was never a fan of Jon Ritchie being his cohost. I understand he has the insider knowledge of being an ex pro football player. I get that it’s a comedy and sports show. Jon just spoke like he has had way too many concussions. The guy fought through sentences like Bieber fights through chicks at a concert. Loved him on the Raiders, not a huge fan of him being on the radio. Either way I hope Artie lands back on air in some way, shape or form and if it was on one of Howard’s stations that would be fucking awesome. Good luck Artie.

-Jesse

Jimmy Fallon Punks Out Yankee Fans with Robinson Cano Bit

While this was really funny, it’s not exactly a good look for Yankee fans. Basically just saying “Hey tough guys, you wanna boo him as a picture or even from the upper deck, do it in person” and everyone pussies out. Kinda makes us look like Rays fans. God damn Jimmy Fallon just fucking everyone in the ass in late night television.

Fallon is so likeable I hate the Red Sox with my whole heart yet I always watch Fever Pitch. Fuck him.

-Jesse

So Why Does Tori Hunter Even Own Sunglasses?

Because he’s fucking Tori Hunter that’s why! After you win 9 gold gloves I guess you can pretty much just stare at the sun all day and spin around in circles out in right field if you want. I’m surprised he wasn’t kicking the tops off of dandelions when the ball was hit. Although I might have to draw the line at sitting Indian style with his glove on his head during pitching changes. Baseball isn’t all fun and games.

So here’s the video break down in case it’s too grainy: The ball is hit which he never sees, probably because it’s bright outside. He finally notices it in the air then sprints and dives to catch it, losing the sunglasses that were on top of his hat in the process. Then he picks them up and puts them BACK ON TOP OF HIS HAT! “Fuck You, I’m Tori Hunter.”

Yes I know the sun was at his back and not in his eyes. That doesn’t matter. Is the sun in your eyes all the way down the road when you’re driving? No, you wear them because it’s bright. They should be called ‘bright glasses’ but no one would buy them because that sounds stupid. And apparently owning AND wearing sunglasses on your head of all places does not guarantee that you’re using them correctly. But like I said, 9 Gold Gloves….do what you want.

-Ken

Michael Pineda Thrown Out for ‘Pine Tar’

ESPN- New York Yankees right-hander Michael Pineda admitted to using pine tar on the baseball during the second inning of Wednesday’s 5-1 loss to the Red Sox at Fenway Park, but said he did it not to cheat, rather to ensure he did not hit anyone with an errant pitch. “It was a really cold night and in the first inning I (couldn’t) feel the ball,” Pineda said. “I don’t want to like hit anybody so I decided to use it.” Pineda was ejected by home plate umpire and crew chief Gerry Davis after Red Sox manager John Farrell came out to complain about the shiny blotch on the right side of Pineda’s neck, which was clearly visible to television cameras broadcasting the game. “I fully respect that on a cold night, you’re trying to get a grip, but when it’s that obvious something has got to be said,” Farrell said.

Everyone just needs to calm down a tad, we’re talking about a guy who was looking out for the safety of others. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter one fucking lick that the Red Sox were hitting in the first and he has allegedly used pine tar in the past. He couldn’t feel the ball and didn’t want to ruin someone’s life with a 95 miler to the dome. And about it being on his neck, he’s not a stupid fucking bafoon for doing that, he was just making it the most obvious thing ever that it was there so people would know. He wanted the million HD cameras pointed directly at him to see that he was doing the safest thing possible and adding some grip to the ball. Easy peasy Japanesey. Michael Pineda, the safety watchman of the New York Yankees. They should give him a god damn medal not a suspension.

-Jesse