Blown Call Presents: Movie Reviews- Neighbors

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I could write a huge essay about why this movie was shit but it would be just as much of a waste of time as it was to see this hunk of crap. I’m sure it was fun to make and to be on set but it didn’t translate to the screen. And I’m not comparing it to Schindler’s List and The Godfather. Just take this and compare it to the other R rated comedies of the past few years (most featuring Seth Rogen in some way) and it just doesn’t hold up. It seemed too forced, too unnatural, and just off. And a bunch of times it was noticeable they cut parts of the movie out so they could fit everything in to a certain time frame. Half of the funniest parts in the trailer aren’t even in the movie itself. Save your time and just go see Spiderman 2 again.

PS I still would give an arm and a leg to party with Zac Efron during his drinking/coke days. That would be a fucking hell of a time.
PSS And if Efron isn’t in Magic Mike 2, Channing Tatum is as dumb as he looks because that kid was made for that kind of movie, not this.

-Jesse

Transformers: Age of Extinction Has a New Trailer and it Rules

Marky Mark was the right choice for the lead in one of these movies. Has few acting skills, one facial expression, and is a tough guy. He is much more believable to fight robots that turn into cars than Shia LeBouf. Also pretty sure I came in my pants watching one robot ride another dragon robot through a city that is about to be destroyed. How many times can Michael Bay blow up a city by the way? Like these transformers have caused BILLIONS of dollars in damages and the time it would take to rebuild an entire metropolis is roughly 20 years? So is this movie 100 years after the first one? Now I’m confused, fuck.

-Jesse

Jimmy Fallon, Zac Efron, and Seth Rogen on the Tonight Show

Sooooo Zac Efron is so good looking that dressed as a chick, I’d for sure hit that. Also it’s very upsetting that Seth said he saw his dick on the set of ‘Neighbors’ and it has a girthy root. Not one thing about my dick has ever been described as girthy, especially the root.

And Seth Rogen as a chick…I’ve tagged a few that looked identical to that. Ew.

-Jesse

Howard Stern Interviews Seth Rogan 5/2014

Howard has been on fucking FIRE with his interviews lately. He’s the only guy in the world who can do an hour with Louis CK then turn around and do another hour with Seth Rogan and each interview is fucking hilarious. I love Seth because he is super talented and rich but seems like he could be a buddy of yours.

-Jesse

Gotham Trailer Just Made Me Jizz

Well that looks fucking awesome. Staying with the Christopher Nolan ‘darker’ theme, having a whole bunch of crazy people running around NYC…I mean Gotham, and a Russell Crowe looking guy playing Gordon is a great touch. Still not sure about Mrs. Will Smith being the bad guy but after that trailer I couldn’t give less of a shit I just want to watch and I want to watch it now! If the show is a hit, the Riddler guy will end up being a star because he is good looking and that part isn’t like a weirdo, it’s a smart role. However the most fun role to watch will be the Penguin guy. Naturally the creepiest looking human I’ve seen in awhile (including Danny DeVito playing the Penguin)

-Jesse

New Star Wars Cast Officially Announced

StarWars.com- The Star Wars team is thrilled to announce the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film. Director J.J. Abrams says, “We are so excited to finally share the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. It is both thrilling and surreal to watch the beloved original cast and these brilliant new performers come together to bring this world to life, once again. We start shooting in a couple of weeks, and everyone is doing their best to make the fans proud.” Star Wars: Episode VII is being directed by J.J. Abrams from a screenplay by Lawrence Kasdan and Abrams. Kathleen Kennedy, J.J. Abrams, and Bryan Burk are producing, and John Williams returns as the composer. The movie opens worldwide on December 18, 2015.

Well there it is (kinda). All of the main actors are now named but they have yet to release who they will play and they may never release that information. And I was never a huge Star Wars guy but then again I wasn’t huge into Star Trek until the new movie came out and now I love it. This film however will be universes ahead of Star Trek when it comes to the box office and world-wide phenomenon when it comes out late next year. I wouldn’t be surprised if nerds are already pitching tents to be first in line while they blog away about every thing JJ Abrams will get wrong or right.

-Jesse

Sex Tape Movie Trailer (RED BAND)

Couple things, this movie looks pretty shitty. I’ve already seen Bad Teacher with these two and I know it doesn’t work. Two, Jason Segal is one of the ugliest people in the movie business. They couldn’t make this with Cameron Diaz and someone that’s actually handsome? No one in the world would want to see those two having sex. Thirdly, how many fucking times do they have to mention and Apple product by name? Jesus Christ we get it, you guys will get the iPhone 6 before everyone else, cool. The only thing that could make this movie decent is a ton of naked Cameron Diaz but 100 bucks says we get to see Jason Segal’s tiny dick again instead.

-Jesse

Final Trailer for “X-Men: Days of Future Past”

This movie keeps picking up steam and with these trailers getting better and better I expect a HUGE opening weekend for the X-Men. Side note, I would LOVE to let Jennifer Lawrence kick my ass wearing nothing but paint. And yes, I would have to let her, this blogger body can do some damage (on donuts, twizzlers and the such)

-Jesse

Full Trailer for “Gone Girl” Starring Ben Affleck

I strongly suggest not watching this trailer if you have ANY plans on seeing the movie. I have no information about the story at all except Ben Affleck’s wife disappears and they are trying to find her. Then I assumed it would be a 2 hour version of True Detective without a cool Matthew McConaughey type character and the ending would be shocking since David Fincher is directing. But after watching the trailer, I’m pretty sure I just saw the whole movie. Go ahead and watch if you will but you’ve been warned. Fucking movie trailer people, step your game up.

-Jesse

Opening Fight Sequence for X-Men Days of Future Past

This is from the MTV Movie Awards last night but I found the actual video on YouTube. I think I would rather see these one to five minute clips of movies than trailers that show a bunch of little pieces of the movie and give away the good parts. No matter how you feel, enjoy the clip.