UPDATE: Casey Kasem Has Been Found! We Can All Calm The Fuck Down

Keep your feet on the ground and keep looking for me!

“Wow! Like, who new that the Green Ghost Goblin was actually the old voice actor Mr. Kasem? And he was just trying to hide from his dumb family? I guess we really are meddling kids…”

The Wrap-Casey Kasem, the 82-year old DJ has been found, a representative of the family told TheWrap.

Kasem was confirmed as missing on May 12. At that time, his daughter Kerri Kasem began seeking temporary conservatorship over her father, in order to facilitate a search effort.

In an official statement issued, the family reports, “We have received confirmation that Casey Kasem has been found. The family has grave concerns about his health and will do everything in their power to bring him back home.”

The family has been at odds with Kasem’s wife, Jean, over visitation rights. Jean Kasem has been moving Casey Kasem from hospital to hospital, and refusing to let his children see him. Casey Kasem is suffering from Lewy Body Disease, which is a similar form of dementia to Parkinson’s Disease, and has left him barely able to talk.

According to The New York Daily News, Casey Kasem was found in Washington just hours after Kerri Kasem was able to officially file a missing persons report. After hearing the news, Kerri Kasem released the following statement, ”We are grateful to the local authorities for finding my Dad. We are one step closer to bringing him home.”

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The Casey Kasem watch is officially over and I think I speak for sarcastic assholes all over the world when I say “Thank God!”
During this whole ordeal I learned a great deal about Mr. Kasem’s life and career most notably being the fact that he is still alive.
Actually I only know 3 real things about him and they are as follows: He did the voice of Shaggy on Scooby Doo, He did a radio show where he counted down popular songs called American Top 40 (similar to Carson Daly on TRL for all you imagination deficient youngsters who needed your eyes to help you hear music better) And he hosted a dance party at The Max on Saved By The Bell. Everything else he’s ever done in his entire life is completely inconsequential and trivial to me or anyone else until his recent bout of disappearing. I really feel like he would have been a much more exciting celebrity had he murdered someone or at least got a bunch of DUI’s. He seemed like the type to have a little bit of Robert Blake in him but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I do feel bad for him about the whole not being able to talk thing. The man made a living with his voice and now it’s left him as part of an even more debilitating disease. That’s be like if (when) I had a stroke and couldn’t walk or chew my own food anymore, add on top of that not being able to use my hands to blog or play videogames…After reading that last sentence over again I’ve decided to kill myself. I’ve completely wasted my life. I’m going to call my mother and apologize for the shame I’ve undoubtedly plagued her with and then go walk into some traffic.

-Ken

-So when I put together that Kasey Casem milk carton picture I had to paste his picture over a picture of a little kid that was missing from 20 years ago. Very weird feeling. I hope that little girl made it home and enjoys reading dumb blogs and watching MTV like all Americans should get a chance to do.

LionsGate is Making a Live Action Power Rangers Movie, Here is My Dream Cast

Broadway World.com- Lionsgate (NYSE: LGF), a leading global entertainment company, and Saban Brands, a strategic brand management company that acquires and builds global consumer brands, are partnering to develop and produce an original live action feature film based on the iconic Power Rangers property, it was announced today by creator of Power Rangers Haim Saban and Lionsgate Chief Executive Officer Jon Feltheimer. The announcement marks another step in Lionsgate’s continued commitment to build a broad portfolio of Branded properties and franchises with global appeal. Saban launched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as a live action television series more than 20 years ago, and the series has been in continuous production ever since. It has subsequently grown into one of the world’s most popular and recognizable brands, with toys, apparel, costumes, video games, DVD’s, comic books and other merchandise.

If you are in your 20-30s the Power Rangers were a huge part of your childhood. Every Saturday morning you had the Ninja Turtles, Duck Tales, Power Rangers and then the Care Bears (anyone who says they didn’t watch the Care Bears to try and be a tough guy is a fucking poser. Everyone watched that shit). I had no clue they still made Power Rangers shows and shit but it makes sense, it’s literally a never ending stream of cool shit they can do and stories to tell. I mean look at these bad guys, you can just make up someone new each week without fear of repeating yourself

But depending on how cheesy or ‘dark’ they make the movie it could go very well or very bad. In ’95 they made one with the original cast and it made like 70 million which is roughly 3 billion dollars in today’s money. And I know every young star in Hollywood is going to fight for a part so here is my dream cast for the new Power Rangers movie. (most are in their 30s because who knows how old the characters are supposed to be, it’s my cast fuck off)
Red Ranger (the funny one)- Ryan Reynolds (let’s hope he doesn’t fuck up this one like he did the other Superhero movies. Last chance Ryan, last chance)
Black Ranger (ninja)- Taylor Lautner (Twilight kid, he did all kinds of ninja shit on SNL)
Blue Ranger (nerd)- Jake Gyllenhaal (still has that October Sky dorkiness but can juice up and kick ass)
Yellow Ranger (tough girl?)- Megan Fox (just imagine her being all bitchy dressed in that leather costume…)
Pink Ranger (the hot chick)- Kaley Cuoco (has to be a chick everyone in the world wants to fuck)
Green Ranger (powerful)- Tom Hardy (he’s the most powerful one in my book! haha..God I’m gay for Tom Hardy)

Well there it is, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Megan Fox, Kaley Cuoco, and Tom Hardy. If that doesn’t scream billion dollar movie then I don’t know what the fuck will. You’re welcome Hollywood, I’ll be expecting my check in the mail.

-Jesse

New Star Wars Cast Officially Announced

StarWars.com- The Star Wars team is thrilled to announce the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film. Director J.J. Abrams says, “We are so excited to finally share the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII. It is both thrilling and surreal to watch the beloved original cast and these brilliant new performers come together to bring this world to life, once again. We start shooting in a couple of weeks, and everyone is doing their best to make the fans proud.” Star Wars: Episode VII is being directed by J.J. Abrams from a screenplay by Lawrence Kasdan and Abrams. Kathleen Kennedy, J.J. Abrams, and Bryan Burk are producing, and John Williams returns as the composer. The movie opens worldwide on December 18, 2015.

Well there it is (kinda). All of the main actors are now named but they have yet to release who they will play and they may never release that information. And I was never a huge Star Wars guy but then again I wasn’t huge into Star Trek until the new movie came out and now I love it. This film however will be universes ahead of Star Trek when it comes to the box office and world-wide phenomenon when it comes out late next year. I wouldn’t be surprised if nerds are already pitching tents to be first in line while they blog away about every thing JJ Abrams will get wrong or right.

-Jesse

Happy Birthday Mr. Pacino

A couple days ago we celebrated the birthday of Jack Nicolson. Now we get to honor the Don. Cappo di tutti cappi. Scarface. Big Boy Caprice. Ricky Roma. Carlito. Lefty Ruggiero. Serpico. Colonel Slade. The guy from Dog Day Afternoon. I mean the only person with a better resume is Al’s buddy Bobby. Sure they both have fallen off in the late 90’s and have only put out a few good roles since. But if you watch any of the movies I will list below, you will be seeing some of the best acting that has ever been or ever will be. Happy Birthday Al. Whoo ahh!

Al Pacino
The Godfather
Serpico
The Godfather II
Dog Day Afternoon
(seriously, those are 4 movies in order, holy shit)
…And Justice for All
Scarface
Sea of Love
Dick Tracy
The Godfather III (oh fuck off it has to be on the list)
Glengarry Glen Ross
Scent of a Woman

Carlito’s Way
Heat
Donnie Brasco
The Insider
Any Given Sunday
Insomnia
Angels in America (TV)
You Don’t Know Jack (TV)
Phil Spector (TV)

I was going to do the list like a normal sentence but this way you get a full look at how fucking amazing it is. Holy shit.

-Jesse

Batman Vs. Superman Adds Cyborg, Sends Shockwaves Through..Um..Something

Batman-News.com- Ray Fisher has been cast as Cyborg in Batman vs. Superman, Variety reports. Fisher is known best for his theater roles including the Broadway play “Fetch Clay, Make Man” where he portrayed Muhammad Ali. This news confirms the rumor from earlier this year, which stated that Zack Snyder was looking to cast a black superhero. According to Variety, Cyborg will be a minor character in Batman vs. Superman, leading up to a bigger part in the future Justice League movie that Warner Bros. appears to be building up to.

It seems like every time there is news on the new Batman vs. Superman movie it’s been disappointing. Seriously, Cyborg? Who the fuck is this guy? And no offense to Ray Fisher but who the fuck is THAT guy? At least with Batman they went with a name people recognize, even if Affleck was a polarizing choice, they knew his name. But if you are going to throw in a character from the “Teen Titans” storyline that 8 people know about (and I had to check on Wikipedia) then use an actor that people give a shit about. I really understand using a black superhero because let’s face it, it’s been pale face city amongst these comic book movies, but using a rarely known character and actor is just a bad move. Were Damon Wayans (or Damon Wayans Jr) too busy that Blankman couldn’t commit? Big swing and a miss execs.

-Jesse

25 Highest Paid Athletes in the World

I love this list because it always makes me laugh. GMs and Executives always think they are so fucking smart signing someone who has a big year or two to a decade long contract where the biggest pay days are WELL past their primes. Let’s break down some of the more interesting people on the list.
Floyd has basically dominated the list every year since Tiger got divorced.
Crisitano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi being 2nd and 3rd makes since because people who have never watched soccer know how good they are. Simple as that, worldwide stars.
Aaron Rodgers being the highest paid football player may not seem right to some people but I don’t mind it. 40 million for last year is a little nuts for on the field performance but he is the face of the NFL. He is the future and he will be a/the top QB for years to come.
Matt Stafford, Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco being in the top 10 is fucking great. These are the guys who cashed in on a few good years (only Flacco has anything to show for it) and are now banging the buttholes of their teams cap limits. Good job boys.
The Phillies have 3 guys in the top 25 and they are in last place. I honestly don’t think Ryan Howard and Cliff Lee even play baseball anymore and I refuse to look it up for the correct information. There are 6 guys above anyone on the Yankees at all so all those “you buy your players” people can suck a dick under a bridge. (Thank God A-Rod is suspended and doesn’t count)
Gilbert Arenas. He may not be in the top 25 total but he is the 3rd highest paid NBA player and WASN’T IN THE LEAGUE. There is always someone like that and this time it’s Gilbert. Play on playa.

-Jesse

‘Last Of Us’ Coming To The PS4

IBT-After numerous rumours and a big leak, Sony has confirmed that a PlayStation 4 port of smash-hit survival action game The Last of Us is on its way.

The company acted after the game mistakenly appeared in an advert on the PlayStation store before it was was hastily taken down.

A Sony rep told Mashable: “SCEA [Sony Computer Entertainment America] can confirm The Last of Us Remastered is coming to PS4, and we’ll be sharing more details with you shortly.”

First revealed last month by PlayStation Eurasia software market manager Sercan Sulun the game will include the critically acclaimed Left Behind DLC and be available to purchase both physically and as a download.

According to the earlier advert the game will be released at full price, despite the fact that the core game will be a year old by the time of its release. An Amazon.com adds that it includes “full 1080p, higher resolution character models, improved shadows and lighting, in addition to several other gameplay improvements”.

The Last of Us Remastered will also include a commentary track from the cast and developers.

Developed by Naughty Dog, The Last of Us follows two survivors across a post-apocalyptic US torn apart by a devastating fungal plague.

The game won more than 200 Game of the Year awards in 2013 and was many people’s best game of the last console generation. It is thought that the game will go down as a landmark moment for the industry because of its superb design, story, writing and acting.

A film version has been confirmed by Sony. It will be written by Neil Druckmann.

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So I jumped ship from Microsoft and decided to get a PS4 for this generation of consoles. But because there are barely any games worth playing out yet, I’ve mostly been using it to watch MLB.tv while mixing in some Tomb Raider and Battlefield 4. I’ve gotten a couple good sessions of Fez and Steam World Dig under my belt too but I’ve been craving a new amazing game that I’ve never played before. And while The Last Of Us is not a new game on the market, It’s definitely new to me and I cannot wait to get it! I almost bought a shitty old PS3 from a shady pawn shop like a degenerate just so I could get a taste of some Uncharted, Beyond 2 Souls, and Last of Us. But cooler heads prevailed, and I got outta there when they started asking for my phone number and fingerprints and shit. I don’t need to be on record for buying what is probably a defective and almost certainly stolen PS3 from some Jamaican sitting on the other side of bulletproof glass with a shotgun aimed at my dick during the entire transaction. No tanks, mon. I’ll just wait until this summer to finally play it.

-Ken

Happy Birthday Jenna Jameson and Leighton Meester!

Two very different types of girls, both hot at some point or another. Jenna used to be the end all be all in porn and now she looks exactly how you’d expect- cracked out, covered in shitty tattoos and old as fuck. Leighton used to be a super good girl and looked innocent and then starred in a shitty Adam Sandler movie where she fucks her brother. But Leighton is still hot as fuck so there’s that. Here are some pics to oogle, and a few honorable mentions.
Jenna (for better or worse)




Leighton (also while finding pics, apparently she had a sex tape..Yes please)

Honorable mentions
Kristen Stewart, Dennis Quad, the Hef, and Jay Chandrasekhar the Indian guy from Super Troopers

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Releases New Posters

These are a pretty big yawn. Just each guy holding their weapon but since we try and post everything that breaks, here they are. Wish they would’ve shown Megan Fox’s tits but I guess that’s not good for kids or some shit.

-Jesse

RIP Ultimate Warrior: Dead at 54

MSN- The Ultimate Warrior, one of U.S. professional wrestling’s most celebrated athletes, has died at the age of 54, days after being inducted into the World Wrestling Entertainment Inc Hall of Fame, the company said late on Tuesday. “WWE is shocked and deeply saddened to learn of the passing of one of the most iconic WWE Superstars ever, The Ultimate Warrior,” the Stamford, Connecticut-based company said on its website. Warrior, whose real name was James Hellwig, began his WWE career in 1987 and rose to become one of the biggest stars in WWE history, the company said, highlighting an “epic encounter” in which he defeated Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania VI to become a WWE Champion. The cause of his death was not given. He was added to the Hall of Fame on April 5. “We are grateful that just days ago, Warrior had the opportunity to take his rightful place in the WWE Hall of Fame and was also able to appear at WrestleMania 30 and Monday Night Raw to address his legions of fans.”

Wow. That’s all I can really say. Am I completely shocked when any of the WWF guys dies early? Not really, but that’s just because they live tough lives full of drugs, pain killers, booze and daily beatings from other very large men. Warrior was one of the most liked wrestlers in history and a personal favorite of mine as a little kid. Prayers go out to his family, his daughters, and the wrestling community as a whole. Glad he got to see his name added to the Hall of Fame but this is a really shitty post to write.

Warrior’s Hall of Fame speech