Great Cry Face. 8 out of 10
Here comes the waterworks in 3…2…1
Two years ago when Bubba won I assumed he was going to be a “One and Done” major winner. There was no way this back woods hick with a janky ass home made golf swing could ever duplicate the magic of winning the greatest golf tournament in 10 more lifetimes, let alone this soon. I mean this is Augusta Fucking National we’re talking about here. This isn’t your typical $20 muni track. Nothing but southern gentlemen, billionaires, and zero amount of women members walking around this place all day. This place is so old school even the caddies have to wear a bright white jump suit. I’m not sure why, but something just seems extremely racist about those outfits. There’s no foundation for that thought, it just makes sense. Like if your caddy slave decided to run away in the middle of the round it’d be easier to find them if they were wearing a glow in the dark fire retardant jump suit. But slavery ended before the club ever opened! I’ve really got to investigate this.
Anyway, Bubba winning again really confused me until I realized his game is perfect for Augusta and he is a prototypical southern man. Even down to his name. Who else besides a man named Bubba with his buttoned up shirt should ever win a southern tournament with slave caddies and women being treated as second class citizens? Who else besides a man with a pieced together in a garage, controlled chaos kind of swing could win a tournament that cuts through the woods and requires perfectly shaped shots that can be landed in a specific spot with the right amount of trajectory? The imagination of a kid and a clear mind are every bit as important as a big pink driver and a goofy hick haircut. He was created to win this tournament. Anytime he doesn’t win from now on is a travesty. Here’s to who will go down as the most winningest Masters champion of all time by the time it’s all said and done. I’m predicting 7 green jackets for Bubba. He’ll only win once a year for now on but it’ll be worth it.
-Ken
Blown Call Sports 