Posts Tagged ‘mustache’

So are the eyebrows dyed….?

Long hair, shotgun, and mustache=Trifecta

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Even with a douchebag haircut he’s killing it. It’s just not fair….

It’d be sacrilege to not include a pic from Roadhouse. You think I’m crazy?

So there it is. Sam Elliot has been rocking the same mustache for decades but the unique thing about him is the fact that he’s done it with long and short hair. He’s also done it young and old. He is timeless and owes it all to the hair between his nose and upper lip. He is so badass in all his movies it makes me sick. In Roadhouse he was only the most feared, aging cooler in the country. You don’t get that role unless you have the best hair in Hollywood. He was called in for the sole purpose of kicking local hillbilly ass. Legendary.

-Ken

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One of the best relief pitchers to play the game, and only one of two in the HOF (wait for it Mariano), he had and still wears one of baseball’s most recognized mustaches the Robber Baron. Sure he has a career ERA under 3, his number retired by two teams, 3 World Series Rings, an AL MVP (as a relief pitcher?!), a Cy Young, and a WS MVP but nothing will be remember about Rollie as much as his name and that god damn silly mustache. So here it is folks, and when looking at the pictures you must realize he is a real person and not Snidley Whiplash the archenemy of Dudley Doo-Right.
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Best bobble head ever?

Best bobble head ever?

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Hall of Fame plaque

Hall of Fame plaque

-Jesse

It’s time again to celebrate another iconic mustache that have been giving men’s hair follicles raging hard ons for years. And let’s be perfectly clear here, no sane modern woman actually likes these monstrosities or would even stand in the same room alone with a creep wearing one for longer than 3 minutes. But this isn’t for women. Mustaches aren’t about trying to look good for a woman. It’s about saying “look what I can do” to men. You drive a Maserati? Eat a dick, I have more mustache than you. See how it works? Either you have it or you don’t. Any man can buy a car. Only a superior specimen could hope to grow a full mustache. So here’s to Burt Reynolds whose been making our faces feel like worthless, hairless blobs of pasty white featureless fat bags for years.

Look at that care free, easy like Sunday morning ‘stache.

I still remember the first time watching Smokey and the Bandit. 11 year old kid, on some late night Saturday watching TV with my dad who also was sporting a mustache. (His was more of the full rounded Selleck model even though he slightly resembled Reynolds himself. Probably the most handsome man to ever walk the face of the earth.) There were a few things that really stuck with me. 1.) Sally Field used to look acceptable 400 years ago. 2.) Jackie Gleason was a comedic genius. 3.) I want to be Burt Reynolds when I grow up

Don’t be on the other end of this scope. Mustache doesn’t miss.

Still more manly as a frail old bag of bones than 99% of the NHL

He looks like a completely different person with out the ‘stache. I almost couldn’t sit through Deliverance because of it. Not because of the backwoods rape scene. That was fine.

-Ken

Speaking of Easy Like Sunday Morning, honorable mention goes out to Lionel Richie

Trying to start consistent blogs we are beginning Blown Call Presents: Mustaches. They don’t necessarily have to be the manliest but you won’t find one fucking loser hipster EVER in a blog. Unless we are just trashing the shit out of them.

To start a mustache blog without having the king of all mustaches would be just retarded. I present you:
Tom Selleck

Giving chicks boners everywhere

Giving chicks boners everywhere

Making Top Gun look straight

Making Top Gun look straight

Boss

Boss

Promoting cigarettes like a fucking man

Promoting cigarettes like a fucking man

Add a little dust under the mustache, still manly

Add a little dust under the mustache, still manly

<a Power shades with the stache
You do NOT want to fuck with that guy

You do NOT want to fuck with that guy

Tom Selleck with no mustache is still a better mustache than I have

Tom Selleck with no mustache is still a better mustache than I have

-Jesse