Romo Heads to the Booth

Adam Schefter just reported on SportsCenter, Tony Romo will leave football and go to the booth. This is all good news if you ask me. First of all, the guy has kids and probably wants to walk when they are older. Makes sense. Secondly, he was most likely leaning towards the Broncos and that would’ve made this Raider fan really pissed off. Sure Romo is Mr. Glass in real life but when he isn’t getting touched/injured, he is a really good passer and could make them a monster threat in the AFC West. Thirdly, this motherfucker has made something like 150 mil in his career, who wants to wake up and get your face beat in when you have that dough,

this wife,

and this smile?

Well two out of three is still pretty good.

Perfect storm for retirement. Goodbye Tony.

 

Jesse

Dan Patrick to Host Sports Jeopardy

Bleacher Report- According to the Associated Press (via Cleveland.com), Emmy-winning sportscaster Dan Patrick will play the role of Alex Trebek on Sports Jeopardy!—a sports-themed version of the popular Jeopardy! game show. Produced by Sony Pictures, Sports Jeopardy! will begin airing this fall via Crackle, a Sony-owned digital service otherwise known for distributing Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. This means Patrick and company will not be aired on NBC like the original game show. However, this mode of distribution could lead to greater interaction for viewers. Sports Jeopardy! will be made available to viewers with PlayStations, Xboxes, Apple TV and Roku—a safe and cheaper conduit on Sony’s part. The biggest difference between Patrick’s show and the old show is a mobile app reportedly in development for the program. Users watching Sports Jeopardy! on their mobile devices will be able to download an application allowing them to keep score in real time. Other such mobile Jeopardy! score trackers have been developed but not in an officially licensed capacity or with access to the exact questions posed on the show. As a sports fan, all of this news appeals to me. Given his general manner and knowledge of the game, Dan Patrick is an excellent choice to fill in as “Sports Trebek.” Hopefully we’ll see some celebrity contestant editions of Sports Jeopardy! as well. Who wouldn’t want to test just how much they know compared to actual athletes and coaches?

So basically they just took what guys do every single day of their lives, challenging each other to sports trivia, and made it into a game show. And they picked the best possible host in Dan Patrick. There has never been nor will there ever be (outside of myself and Ken) a guy that is really fucking cool and a sports nut. His show is the only one on the DirecTv channel that probably gets any views and it’s a nationally syndicated radio show too. Great idea to not put it on TV because so many people get their television second hand via the internet and/or apps on smart tvs. I haven’t had cable in 2 years and I have to miss one episode of a good show or any news and I save a shit ton of money by just having internet. Can’t wait for this show so I can boom roast Ken on football trivia.

-Jesse

BASE Jumping World Record Broke in Dubai

Gulf News- Two French daredevils broke a Guinness World Record for the highest Base jump after jumping from the pinnacle of the Burj Khalifa and spiralling down the world’s tallest man-made structure. Professional base jumpers Vince Reffet and Fred Fugen broke the record on Monday between 6am and 9am after performing two base jumps from the top of the 828-metre Burj Khalifa in Downtown Dubai. Emirati jumpers Nasser Al Neyadi and Omar Al Hegelan held the previous world record after jumping 672 metres down the tower in 2010.

They keep releasing videos like this and it still freaks me the fuck out every time. Like what happens when something goes wrong? Cool bro you jumped off the building and then bounced off the sidewalk. But since I will never do something like that keep making these videos and I will keep watching.

-Safe guy behind a computer

Jimmy Fallon and Anne Hathaway Sing Broadway Version’s of Rap Songs

Anna Kendrick SNL Promo Videos Are Awful

What the fuck is wrong with SNL? They have some of the funniest writers in TV yet this crap keeps coming out as their promos. First Louis CK who is already hilarious is forced to sound retarded with Kenan Thompson and now Anna Kendrick loses some hot points because this was so shitty. Step your game up SNL.

Sheldon Cooper to Host SNL

Vulture- The Big Bang Theory’s Jim Parsons will host Saturday Night Live on March 1, with Beck as musical guest, NBC announced this afternoon. This is Parsons’s first time hosting, and Beck’s seventh time as musical guest, not including the time he played alongside Mick Jagger on the 2012 season finale. Beck’s first time on SNL was back in 1997 (host: Kevin Spacey), which is before Parsons even had an IMDb credit. And now look at them! Parsons has three Emmys; Beck has three Grammys; SNL brings people together, etc.

That will be a great SNL to watch because I think Jim Parson’s is one of the best comedic actors out there and he’s weird enough that the writers can come up with good sketches. He doesn’t seem uptight so I doubt he will take himself too serious or try too hard. The weird thing is why the fuck is Beck going to be there? I thought he died or just disappeared. Has he had a hit in a decade or two? The Big Bang Theory is the top rated comedy, with Modern Family, and Parson’s is the biggest star so why is he paired with a loser from the 90’s? At least get someone who goes along with him, maybe Macklemore or some other gay rights person. Maybe this is when Beck comes out of the closet, who knows. Either way I’ll watch and skip the music like I always do.

Obligatory Kaley Cuoco picture

Bazinga

-Jesse

The Beades Returning to The Mothership

SI.com- Michelle Beadle is heading back to ESPN. SI.com has learned the NBC Sports host and Access Hollywood correspondent will return to the network where she enjoyed success as the co-host of SportsNation. Beadle left ESPN for NBC in May 2012 and did so on exceptionally good terms, a clear prelude to her returning now. ESPN president John Skipper is a huge fan of her work, and she’s championed both in-house and externally by Jamie Horowitz (who co-created SportsNation and helms Keith Olbermann’s ESPN2 show) and Kevin Wildes (the co-creator of SportsNation). Look for Beadle to ultimately host or co-host a New York-based show with another ESPN talent at some point. There is a chance she could appear on SportsNation initially as well, though no ESPN start date is set yet. Beadle can officially leave NBC Sports in early March, according to a source.

Kinda funny that Sports Illustrated is reporting about an NBC personality returning to ESPN. But I digress. I love this move because honestly I had no clue where she went after she was done at ESPN. I’m sure she covered the Olympics and a bunch of other shit but I didn’t really notice and that’s why she’s returning to ESPN, a channel people actually watch. And with her back I will for sure be watching. If I had my pick of ESPN chicks she is definitely up top. She seems cool, loves to booze I’m sure, huge WWF fan, probably into all the weird sex stuff I am, and she’s hot. Throw in the fact that she punked out Erin Andrews in the fucking anniversary book for ESPN and I’m in love. Welcome back Beades (what she says I can call her), welcome back.

PS You know Aaron Rodgers is gay because she asked him to fuck and he said no. Queer City.

-Jesse

Bitches Love the Invisible Bike Helmet

NBC News- A new “invisible” bicycle helmet that uses technology similar to a vehicle airbag has been developed in Sweden. The Hövding device, worn around the neck, is designed to shoot a protective, inflatable nylon hood around the user’s head within one tenth of a second of impact. Designers Terese Alstin and Anna Haupt said they were tired of traditional hard plastic designs that were unfashionable and ruined their hair. “I don’t want anything on my head,” said Alstin. “I don’t want my hair to be destroyed.” The pair began to work on the device in 2005 when they were studying Industrial Design at Sweden’s University of Lund. 

Oh sweet Jesus I wish this had been around about 8 years ago when I was in college. Because if there had been something called the invisible bike helmet I could have easily told the drunk chicks I was trying to bang “Yea I have a condom, it’s just this new invisible kind. It will activate right before I blow a load, no need to worry.” Obviously I wouldn’t have been wearing one, but it’s a better lie than “Oh yeah, I have one on” which was clearly impossible because she never saw me put one on (and who wraps it up in college anyway? Idiots). But for real, take a look at this fucking helmet. I guess if you are dumb enough to think this will work you deserve to die in a bicycle accident anyway. Let the strong survive!

Jesse